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“You’re going to kill yourself,” he said. “Too distraught over the life that you took, you felt so ashamed and terrible that you just couldn’t go on anymore.”
“I’ll never write a letter like that,” I yelled out defiantly.
“Oh, you will,” Paulie said, laughing. “And it will be the most poetic letter you’ve ever written. And if you don’t, I’m going to make sure that when they find your body, they have to put you back together like a fucking puzzle. And I like to take the non-vital parts first.”
“Screw you,” I said.
Paulie and Harry laughed, standing in the light coming from the office. I cringed as he barked loudly at me, my natural instincts telling me to hide. I picked my head back up and stared at him angrily as he got really close to me. He ran his finger down my cheek, down my neck, and across my chest, stopping at the buttons to my blouse. Slowly, he began to unbutton my top, one at a time. I squirmed, trying to make it harder for him to get to me. I could smell his disgusting breath and bad cologne, and it was almost choking me. He laughed loudly as I rocked the chair back and forth, desperate to keep his hands off of me. Just the thought of that man touching my skin made me want to vomit. He leaned his head back and laughed loudly, signaling to Harry to come over and hold me down. She put her hands on my shoulders and held me firmly in place as he leaned back down. I gathered all the spit in my mouth and spat on him, right in the face.
I watched as he reared back, wiping away the saliva that was running down his cheek. He shook his head, laughing, an angry face shining between smiles. I looked up at him, gritting my teeth, and watched as he reared back and slapped me hard across the cheek with the back of his hand. Before I could lift my head back up, he had shoved his hand down my shirt and started fondling my breasts. I struggled to get free, but Harry had me pinned down. I screamed out, tears filling my eyes.
“Stop,” I cried. “Get your fucking hands off me you disgusting pig.”
Before I knew it, he was slapping me again. Only this time, he didn’t stop after one. Over and over, I felt his hands alternating sides, colliding with my face and sending spit and blood spewing from my mouth. Every time I picked my head back up and faced him angrily, he hit me, and every time, he hit me just a little harder until I could no longer speak. My brain became fuzzy, and I felt his hands on my body, but I was unable to do or say anything. My face was throbbing, and I could feel my lip bleeding, the warm blo
od running down my chin. I groaned slightly but stopped, knowing I couldn’t take much more of the abuse. As my vision cleared a bit, I leaned my head backward and sighed, looking up at Harry.
All she did was just stand there, looking in the other direction as Paulie sexually assaulted me. I didn’t know how far this would go, but I knew if I spoke up, he would continue to beat me. I could taste the blood in my mouth, and I swallowed, almost ready to spit on him again. The pain was unbearable though, and I told myself that it wasn’t a surprise. I knew this was coming the entire way to the deli in the trunk of that car. I knew that I was going to face some hard things, but I also knew I had to be tough. In all likelihood, I would be dead by the end of this, but that didn’t mean that I was going to go out without a fight. Paulie was a sick fuck with a fetish for molesting his prisoners, and if I could have, I would have gotten out of that chair and cut his dick off just for spite, but that wasn’t an option. I was faced with the decision to either fight and be in pain before I died, or accept my fate and take whatever was coming my way.
I closed my eyes and thought about Blaine and how he had such a charming smile. I let my mind wander to the day we walked on the beach, hand in hand. I thought about the first time I heard him tell me that he loved me, and the feeling I felt inside when those words came out of him. There was nothing in the world I wanted more than to be in his arms. Well, that was a lie. I wanted him to be safe more than anything. So, I sat there accepting the fate that had befallen me, blocking out the pain and feelings of my physical body. I turned my focus inward. I thought about being a child and playing sports with my father in the front yard. I thought about the friends I had at school and all the students that loved me so much. I let my wander to each and every happy moment in my life, knowing that from that moment on, there would be no more. I knew that I was going to die, and before I died, I would suffer unimaginable pain, but it was okay because my family gave me the strength to close my eyes and block it all out.
When my thoughts turned back to Blaine, all I could think about was how grateful I was that he would get to move on from this. I was grateful that he’d realized his dreams and that he was determined to follow them, and not for me, but for his own self-interest. I was thankful for the time that I got to spend with him, and how I had, for the first time in my life, and the last time, found out what true love was really like.
Chapter 31
Blaine
I sat in the van parked around the corner, watching as they taped the wire to my chest. My nerves were going crazy, but I had to keep my wits about me. I was determined to get Josie out of that place, no matter what it took, even if it was my life. She had obviously left to go turn herself into the cops to keep me safe, but in the process, she’d gotten herself kidnapped by the mob. I knew she had to be terrified, so I had to be strong for her.
I got out of the van and walked down the street to the deli, breathing deeply as I opened the door and walked inside. The guy behind the counter nodded at me as I walked over to the counter and put my hands down.
“I want to talk with Paulie,” I said quietly.
The man stood there, shifting uncomfortably and saying nothing back to me. I was irritated by his refusal to answer me. I clenched my fists and pounded them on the counter.
“Did you hear me?” I clenched my jaw and stared at the man, watching his hands to make sure he didn’t pull a gun. “I have some information about a murder that Paulie was involved in, and I want to talk to him right now. I am not going to move from this spot until I get to see him.”
I stood there staring at the man as he looked me up and down. He looked pretty pissed that I was talking about Paulie in front of the people eating in the deli. He took in a deep breath and cocked his head back, trying to look intimidating. There was nothing intimidating to me about a middle-aged man in an apron covered in pigs’ blood, and I couldn’t help but think about how well the movies got these mobsters right. But it wasn’t the fifties anymore, and I wasn’t afraid of these douche bags.
“You need to get moving,” he said, sniffling. “Or I’m calling the cops.”
I slowly cracked a smile and started to laugh, hoping this guy saw my craziness as something not to mess with. I tapped my finger on the counter and shook my head, still laughing to myself.
“Oh yeah?” I said. “You’re going to call the cops?”
“Yeah,” he said with a growl in his voice.
“Good,” I whispered. “I can give them the evidence I brought with me. Wouldn’t you the love to be the douche bag that got Paulie locked up for murder? That might not sit too well with his father.”
I cracked my neck, and even though I looked calm and collected on the outside, I was terrified on the inside. I was terrified I would get killed before even getting back there. I was terrified that Josie was already dead, and I was terrified that maybe I did actually have the wrong place.
“Wait here,” he grumbled.
I watched as he shuffled to the back, presumably to fetch Paulie. I looked over at the guys eating in the deli and noticed that every single one of them had a gun on their hip. They nodded their head at me but kept a close watch, knowing I wasn’t one of them. I heard footsteps and expected to see Paulie, but instead, a large woman whose face matched the mugshot of Harry the Hammer came rushing from the back, holding her gun straight at my face. I put my hands up in the air and groaned as she grabbed my arm and dragged me to the back.
As soon as we were in the back of the store, Harry pushed me in front of her and shoved her gun into my back. The guys working in the back looked over at us and stared as we moved through the kitchen area and into an office. Straight in front of us was a gray door that looked like an old meat locker. She grabbed my arm and shoved me to the side, pointing the gun at my face. I looked over at the empty desk and realized there were no computers or filing cabinets. This was nothing but a front for the mob, and it was so obvious. Harry stepped up to the door and pounded with her fat fists, a gleaming stream of sweat coming from her brow.
“Fuck off,” a man’s voice shouted from inside.
