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hat about now? What about when I was no longer married to his brother? I shook the thought from my head, chastising myself for even thinking it. Was I crazy? Still, thinking back at Saturday night, I couldn’t help but feel like we were more than having a good time. In fact, after a few drinks, we were kind of flirting with each other. I could still feel his hand touch mine as we laughed, sitting at the table. There was a spark in my chest when our skin touched, and from the way he looked down at our hands, I knew he had felt it, too. I caught myself hoping he wouldn’t let go, but as soon as he spotted Mona heading over to us, he pulled his hand back and stuck it in his lap.
I picked up my phone from the nightstand and rolled it around in my hands, thinking about texting him and seeing what he was doing. I flipped to his number and opened a new text typing out the words before deleting the whole thing and switching over to Mona’s messages. I knew that whatever I was feeling toward Jason had to be some kind of residual feelings for Jordan or some crazy idea at a rebound fuck. I texted Mona that I needed to talk, and she instantly responded back that she would be over ASAP with a huge pizza. I drug myself from the bed, brushed my teeth, and did my hair, not wanting to hear her complain that I looked like hell again.
When she got there, I grabbed some plates and napkins, and we sat down, chowing down on the first thing I had eaten all day. I knew Mona was curious as to what I wanted to talk about, but she was letting me gather the courage to bring it up first. I glanced over at her as I took a bite of my pizza.
“So,” I said with a full mouth. “I kind of caught myself lost in thought about a guy this afternoon.”
“Oh, yeah?” she said excitedly. “Wait, we aren’t talking about Jordan, are we?”
“No,” I said with a disgusted face. “It's absolutely nuts, and I’m pretty sure it's like my mind being an asshole, but I was thinking about Jason.”
“Okay,” she said with a shocked face. “So, what does that mean?”
“I don’t know,” I sighed. “I mean it's impossible for me to have a crush on him, right?”
“No, he’s freaking hot, and you spent more time with him than Jordan at the beginning of your relationship,” she said chuckling. “But you tell me. Is it crazy, or do you have an actual crush?”
I sat there for a few minutes, chowing down on my pizza and allowing my mind to bring up visions of Jason. The first few were my mind thinking about how sexy he was in almost every way. Then, without knowing it, I started thinking about how funny he was, how sweet he was, and all the little things we talked about on Saturday night. I pulled myself from the thought and ran my hand over chest, shaking my head.
“Oh, God,” I gasped. “It’s an actual crush. What do I do?”
“Whatever you want to do,” Mona said leaning forward. “Don’t you see the beauty of this? You are a single woman with no ties to anyone. You can crush on whoever you want, whenever you want. You can ask a guy out, you can date someone, you can fuck someone, you can date five someones at one time if you wanted.”
“But this is slightly different,” I said putting down my pizza. “This is my ex’s brother. This is Jason Banks we are talking about here.”
“So?” Mona laughed loudly. “God, this is so perfect. Most people who go through a divorce are already in another relationship. Hell, my father was already engaged when the divorce went through with my mother. There is nothing wrong with scoping someone out already, even if he happens to be the douche bag’s brother. Who knows, maybe you were meant to be with Jason and you just got your j’s mixed up.”
“This is crazy,” I said shaking my head. “Like, Jerry Springer crazy.”
“Call him,” she said with wide eyes.
“No,” I gasped. “And say what?”
“I don’t know.” She laughed. “Wanna have lunch? Wanna talk? Wanna have wild, blow me away, passionate sex?”
“Get serious, Mona,” I said with blushed cheeks.
“Oh, my God,” she screamed, seeing my red face. “You do want to fuck his brains out! I love it!”
“Stop,” I said, laughing and holding my cheeks. “He’s hot. I mean, can you blame me?”
“Absolutely not,” she roared. “Call him. Do it. Do it now. Come on.”
“Fine,” I said putting up my hand. “But you have to be quiet.”
“Scouts honor,” she said holding up two fingers.
“You have a vagina. You couldn’t have been a scout.”
“Fine,” she responded, holding up a v. “Vagina honor.”
“That’s some serious shit,” I said as I scrolled through my phone.
“I know,” she said with a serious face.
I found Jason’s number on my phone and sat there with my finger hovering over the call button. I was completely freaking out, not knowing whether I should do it or check out and just go back to imagining him naked in my head. I tapped my foot loudly on the floor and closed my eyes, pressing the call button and holding it up to my ear. I looked over at Mona who was covering her mouth with her hands and squealing. I put my finger to my lips and shushed her as the phone rang in my ear.
“Hello?” His voice was deep, and I immediately thought about hanging up.
