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“At this rate, I’m going to need to take early retirement just to have enough hours in the day with you,” he says. I blush deeply. I’ve never had anyone care about me so much. It’s taking some getting used to, figuring out how I fit into his life. But as Tate looks at me, I feel important. Like I matter for the first time in my life.
Tate finally gets out of bed and heads for the shower. I lie in bed for a little longer, still trying to figure out why today feels so different from other days. It’s like my body has changed overnight, like something about me has changed fundamentally. It can’t simply be because of the way Tate touched me, can it? Can his love really change me this much?
I don’t know what’s going on with me, but I need to find out. I have an inkling of what it might be, so I shower, get dressed, and head out to the drug store. When I arrive home, I head to the bathroom and take out the pregnancy test I bought.
I stare at it with shaking hands. It seems impossible that I might be pregnant so soon, but I know it’s naive to think that way. After all, Tate has already spilled his seed inside me multiple times. We haven’t used protection at all, and I’ve never taken birth control.
I take a deep breath before using the test. My hunch about this is pretty strong. It seems like the only explanation for the way my entire world feels like something has shifted this morning again. If I’m growing Tate’s baby inside me, then that changes everything. No wonder my body is reacting…
But I’m getting ahead of myself. I don’t even know if I’m right yet. As I wait for the results, I consider what a baby could mean for me and Tate. Sure, we’ve already talked about starting a family, and we both want kids soon…but this is so quick. What if it scares Tate? What if it changes things between us when things have been so incredible so far?
But I don’t want to think that way. I want a baby so badly. I’ve always wanted a big family with kids running around the house. I know that if I am pregnant, then it’ll make me even happier than I already am. I think it’ll make Tate happy too. But it’s the biggest step that I’ll ever take in my life, and I guess that scares me a little. I think it would be crazy if it didn’t.
I take deep breaths, trying to steady my racing heart. This whole thing is so crazy. I never thought that this would happen to me so soon. But when I check the test, I see the answers that I think I knew all along.
I’m going to have a baby.
I lean against the sink in the bathroom, gasping for air. This is incredible. I’m about to see my entire world transform before my eyes…have everything I’ve ever wanted. It’s terrifying, yes. And yes, I feel unprepared. I never expected this to happen so quickly and without any forward planning. But now that I’m holding the best news in the world in my hands, I don’t care that this is unexpected. This is everything I’ve ever dreamed of, and I shouldn’t be afraid of the fact that I’m about to get what I want.
And now there’s only one thing left to do…tell Tate.
The thought of telling him sends a shiver down my spine. I guess some part of me is still terrified of losing him. My mind knows that I can trust him, that he loves me, that he’s going to be thrilled with this news. But that seed of doubt that I’ve been nurturing for so many years makes me feel like this is going to destroy everything I’ve built with him so far. My own mind is so unkind to me at times that it’s a wonder that I ever get anything done. I’m constantly second-guessing myself, constantly making my life harder for myself.
But not today. Today, I’m going to hold my head up high and tell my life partner this amazing news. I’m not going to find some way of ruining this for myself. I’m not going to let my doubts win over me. I’m going to trust him and this love we share.
And I’m going to give him the news that will change us forever.
I head downstairs quietly, holding the test close to my chest. I want to show him rather than tell him. He won’t be expecting it at all. Just like me, I know he’s going to be caught off guard by how quickly this has happened for us. But I also know that this thing I hold in my hands is going to change everything for the better, now I just need Tate to prove me right.
