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“I won’t be long,” he says and takes a step forward leaving me with no choice but to move to the side.
My behavior borders on rude. I don’t offer him coffee or dinner. The cottage seems smaller with him in it. We sit on opposite ends of the room and as we lock gazes, awareness shoots through me. The man is attractive, I tell myself. Any woman would feel the same attraction that I’m feeling.
“Why did you move out without letting me know?” Logan asks.
I’m prepared for that question. I feign surprise and raise an eyebrow. “Our arrangement was not permanent. It was only until the cottage was ready, and it was, wasn’t it?”
He ignores my rhetorical question. “I got called to the hospital and I went straight there from work. She had a fever that wouldn’t go down.”
I nod politely.
“She’s three months old,” Logan says.
I nod as if it makes perfect sense for Logan to have a three-month-old baby. I get a measure of satisfaction from seeing the confusion in his eyes. I won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing how much he hurt me.
“How is she?”
“She’s okay. She was discharged today,” Logan says, lines of worry and exhaustion on his face.
“I’m glad she’s okay.” I have so many questions, the most important being, why didn’t you tell me about Emma? Do I mean so little to you? But I say nothing.
Logan asks me about Ivy and when there’s nothing else to say, he stands up. “Are you upset about something?”
“No, why would I be upset? I didn’t have any expectations of you, Logan. We were just having fun, right?”
“Well, yes, but I like to think that we’re friends too,” he says and dips his hands into his pockets. His words are sweet and touching but Logan is used to charming women. I follow him to the front door.
“Goodnight, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he says.
“Goodnight.” I shut the door behind him and lean on it.
Chapter 18
Logan
Hundreds of stars light up the dark skies. It’s a beautiful night, the kind that makes you want to sit out and marvel at the wonders of nature. A peaceful night, yet inside me, a storm is raging. I’ve been standing outside Vanessa’s cottage unable to leave and return to my house.
I’m conflicted. I should leave and maintain this wedge that has sprouted between us. It’s the perfect opportunity to ensure that this does not become a matter of the heart. It may be too late. What I feel for Vanessa has transcended into something else. It’s not just her body that attracts me. I’m drawn to her as a person. She’s fun and warm and smart. And a very good mother, a trait I’d not have noticed in the past. I need her in a way I’ve never needed a woman. I need to kiss her and hold her in my arms, to lose myself in the sweetness of her body. And I need her to help me make sense of this whole situation with Emma.
Taking Emma home to her grandparents today was gut-wrenching and I wished that I was bringing her to her own home. But I’m not ready yet. The thought of taking on the responsibility of raising a child scares the fuck out of me. What do I know about babies? Sure, I can bathe a baby now, thanks to Vanessa, and I can feed her but there’s more to it than that. I’ve never given serious thought to becoming a father and then I was thrust into the role without a warning.
I turn back to the cottage without knowing what I’m going to tell Vanessa. I knock on her door and to my surprise, the door flies open as if she’s been standing at the door. Her face is streaked with tears.
“Vanessa.” I step forward and gather her into my arms.
She throws her arms around me and we cling to each other. God, it feels good to hold her, to inhale her sweet lavender scent, and to have her soft body pressed against mine.
“I miss you so much,” I whisper the words that I haven’t whispered to a woman in years.
“I miss you too.” Her voice is muffled against my shirt.
“I need you, Vanessa.”
In response, Vanessa draws back, takes my hand, and leads me into the cottage. I follow her to her bedroom. We don’t talk and when she closes the door to her bedroom, I pull her into my arms again and cup her face.
We gaze at each other for a few seconds and then I bring my mouth to hers kissing her gently at first and then with rising urgency. I plunder her mouth putting all the emotions of the last two days into it.
I dip my hands under her t-shirt to cup her breasts and she moans softly. I’ve missed hearing the sounds she makes when she’s aroused. I trace her taut nipples with my thumbs and then pull her t-shirt over her head. I inhale sharply at the sight of her creamy skin and full breasts with her nipples sticking out, begging to be sucked. I pull down her shorts and then set her on the bed. I tear off my clothes while ravaging Vanessa’s sexy, perfect body with my eyes. My cock springs free when I pull down my boxer briefs.
