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As the water heated, so did her temper. She understood he was upset, but she had only been trying to help. She brought the subject up out of concern.
For the first time in her entire life, she felt safe in her house and didn’t like the idea that anyone could take that sense of security away from her—even Giovanni.
She shut off the faucet and returned to the living room. “Get out.”
“What?” He wore a startled expression.
“I want you to leave.”
He scowled at her. “What are you talking about?”
“You don’t get to yell at me—in my house—and then act like nothing happened. You’ve been in this mood for days and I’ve been trying to be patient, but you…” Her heart stuttered out of beat. “You never even told me when you got home.”
“So you’re throwing me out?”
Was she overreacting? “You haven’t even touched me since you’ve been back from Atlantic City.”
“So this is about sex?”
“No.”
“Well, I know it’s not about intimacy.”
She staggered back as if he slapped her.
“Shit, Erin, I didn’t mean—”
“Shut up!” Her eyes welled with tears.
How could he throw that in her face? She tried her best and she’d given him more than she’d ever given anyone.
“Erin…” He crossed the room and hugged her, but she pushed him off, no longer wanting the weight of his arms around her.
“No.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
Her body chilled and her mind disconnected as he kissed her forehead and her cheek. He lifted her chin, angling her face so his lips could reach her mouth, but she just stood there.
“Forgive me.” He kissed her throat, holding her close. “I don’t want to leave.”
Any response she might have tucked deep in a shadowed corner of her mind, hiding like she had as a little girl, somewhere safe and unreachable.
“I didn’t mean to snap at you.” His lips found hers again and he held her face, kissing and apologizing. “I’m sorry. I’m an asshole.”
Her body became a mannequin as he stripped away her clothes and kissed her breasts. He walked her to the sofa and dropped to his knees, but when he pressed his lips to her skin she felt nothing. Her mind had cut off, a reflexive response to save her from pain.
Maybe she made the right noises, maybe she didn’t. Giovanni didn’t seem to notice, and didn’t that just say everything about how much she sucked at intimacy if he couldn’t tell the difference between when she did and didn’t try. It was all the same to men.
When he filled her, she rocked with each thrusting stroke, waiting for it to end. In his mind, this fixed everything, but his words hung around her like a noose, tightening until she could hardly breathe.
He spent the night, and she allowed it, not having the strength to ask him to leave again. Too afraid that another argument might come and he’d say something more hurtful than he already had.
She woke early and knew he would sleep most of the morning if no one disturbed him. Making a fresh pot of coffee, she filled a thermos and bundled up for the day.
She stopped to get gas at the end of town and grabbed a newspaper that listed nearby apartments. She couldn’t stay in Jasper Falls. Somehow that damn lumberyard always got in the way. Or was it men who confused her plans?
Either way, it seemed like a mountain was sitting on her chest, and she had to find somewhere else to go, somewhere far away where people didn’t know her enough to dislike her. A place where she wouldn’t know anyone well enough to care if they come into her life or go.
CHAPTER 22
“Erin?” Giovanni woke to the piercing sun cutting through the curtains of Erin’s bedroom. Her side of the bed was cold. “Er?”
The house was quiet. He fumbled out of bed, his damn back muscles already screaming as he shuffled into the bathroom.
“Babe?” Where was she?
Once he circled the house, certain she wasn’t inside, he checked the driveway. Her car was gone.
Maybe she just went to grab something at the store. But after thirty minutes and two unanswered calls to her cell, he knew that wasn’t what this was. Last night was bad. For once, she wasn’t the one acting out of line. Actually, she’d been so in control of her emotions lately, he hoped she knew how much he recognized her effort.
Why had he yelled at her?
The look on her face when he raised his voice at her broke his heart. He was an idiot. She spent her whole life getting yelled at and worse. He never wanted to see her look at him like that again.
He tried her cell again, but the call dumped into voicemail. “Erin, it’s me. It’s—” He winced. “—noon. You’re not here. Where are you? Call me.”
