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He put a clean bandage on. He was so gentle and careful that she wanted to cry. She felt so emotional. He cleaned everything up and got up to put it all away. She heard the water running.
He came back and gave her a pain pill. She took it with the water. He covered her with the blanket, and she wondered why he was being so nice to her. Was it pity? What else could it be? People were always nicer to you when you were hurt.
“I can stick around until you fall asleep.”
She shook her head. She was tempted to say yes. She hated being alone, but her family had a business to run, and she did not want to be a burden.
“I need to hear the lock clicking in place, or I won’t be able to fall asleep,” she whispered. She felt like such a scaredy-cat confessing that to him.
He moved her hair out of her face. She looked into his warm hazel eyes, and she was tempted to ask for a hug, just a simple gesture of him holding her, but she refrained. There were too many unresolved, bitter memories between them.
“I’m glad you’re okay, Alana. I just wish you hadn’t gotten hurt.” His voice was velvety soft. She ignored the longing in her heart.
She didn’t know what to say, so she just looked up at him. So many “if onlys” ran through her mind. If only things could have worked out for them. She loved this stupid, stubborn man, but it was hopeless between them, and she had to accept that. No more wishing upon a star like a silly little girl.
She watched him walk to the front door. He glanced back with one last smile.
He doesn’t want you, Alana. Get over it and move on. All he does is feel sorry for you.
She heard the lock click, and she closed her eyes. She prayed for a solid few hours of sleep with no nightmares.
Chapter 5
Noah sat on his porch that night with a beer in his hand. It was a hot and humid night, and he could be inside his air-conditioned home, but he felt too restless to be cooped up indoors. He had been feeling overwhelmed with emotions ever since he saw Alana earlier in the day. He hated seeing her wound. The slash had been raw looking and long. He had felt the tears in his eyes, but he held them in. If she had died, he wasn’t sure if he could have handled it. It affected him deeply, and he hated himself all over again for being such a coward. He thought it had been too late to make amends, but now his eyes were open to the fact that as long as he had breath, it was never too late. He wasn’t foolish enough to think he could gain her trust again easily, but he was determined to give it his all.
She had lain on the couch so still and stiff, as if she hated his touch. He had been tempted to pull her into his arms and just hold her. Her long brown hair had been tangled and her clothes loose fitting, yet he had found her breathtakingly beautiful.
He wanted to promise her he would never allow her to be hurt again. How could he say that when he had hurt her emotionally? He flashed back to the night of their argument. He had hated seeing the pain in her eyes. His own guilt had caused him to lash out in anger. When she told him she loved him, he had brushed it off and told her she had no idea what love was. Noah felt the weight of his guilt all over again. He had been so wrong. He should have grabbed her and hung on to her. Alana was sweet, kind, and beautiful. Instead of questioning her, he should have been happy she had her heart set on a grouchy old bachelor like himself.
The intense attraction between them was still there. Time had not erased it or lessened it. He had not been able to feel it that strongly with anyone else, and he had dated plenty of women over the years. He figured he deserved it, but still, Karma sucked.
He blamed his past experience with heartache. It had made him scared to put his heart on the line and not trust in the concept of love. Love was too fragile and faded easily. Now he knew true love was as strong as a steel beam. It could take a beating and not break. Despite what he did to Alana, he could see her love when she looked at him. She was still hurt and angry, but what gave him hope was what he saw in her eyes.
He thought he had been in love once when he was in his early twenties. Kari had broken his heart when he found out about her secret affairs with older men. She was so desperate to be a model or an actress. She slept with men she thought could do something for her career. Finally she
had left town for California. He had vowed to never feel that vulnerable again. Alana made him feel something deeper than what he felt for Kari, and that is what had scared him.
His younger brother Adam climbed up the steps looking as tired as he felt. He plopped down on the porch chair next to Noah.
“Man, it’s been a rough night,” Adam told him tiredly. He ran his fingers through his shoulder-length light-brown hair. He usually kept it pulled back away from his face. Tonight it was loose.
“I heard a house on Houston Street caught fire.” Noah took another drink of his beer. He listened to the police scanner even at home. “I’m glad the family wasn’t home. Drake told me Red Cross was already helping them get situated.”
Adam nodded. He worked for the Red Hook Fire Department. “And that old warehouse on the edge of town caught on fire. Teens decided it made a good party spot and tried making a small fire that got out of hand.”
Noah chuckled. “You sound so disapproving. Weren’t you just as wild as a teen?”
“Never,” Adam lied. “I was an angel. You and Liam were the troublemakers.”
Adam bent down and took one of Noah’s beers from his six-pack.
“So what has you out here all melancholy and shit?” Adam asked, opening the beer and taking a long sip. At thirty, Adam was closer to Noah in age, and the two had always been close.
“I went to see Alana today,” Noah stated simply. His brothers knew what had happened between him and Alana. Hell, the whole town had heard about what he had stupidly done. He had been so ashamed of himself he had broken off his date with Cora. She had not taken the news well. In her eyes, she had saved him the headache of breaking things off with Alana.
Most of the older ladies still stared down their noses at him. Alana was sweet and kind, and they all loved her. The men shook their heads as if asking him why he would give her up. Noah hated all the looks but did his best to ignore them. He spent a lot of time working and keeping to himself.
He had often talked with his brothers about how much he missed Alana. They encouraged him to go and talk to her, but he hadn’t worked up the nerve. Noah didn’t like the idea of being rejected once again, so he had stayed away from Alana.
