Page 10 of Give Love a Chance


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Polly rolled her eyes and shook her head sadly. “Men just don’t get fashion do they Noelle?”

“No, ma’am,” Noelle agreed, holding in her laughter. Polly waved and headed out the door.

Chance led Noelle to the living room by the hand. He turned on the stereo and sat her on the couch next to him. He played with the strands of her hair. He looked at her with such a serious expression that she got nervous. “What?” she snapped out of nervousness.

“I suppose it is too soon to make out?” he asked seriously, with an exaggerated pout.

It was so unexpected that she burst into laughter and hit him with a couch pillow. “You pig.”

“What?” He blocked the pillow with his arm. He gave her his best innocent look. “I was just asking. How else will you know what I want?”

Noelle shook her head with a smile. He wrapped his arms around her, and she felt like she was wrapped in a warm blanket. She let out a happy sigh and put her legs under her after slipping off her shoes. She was weak, she had to admit. Too weak to pull away and have space between them on the couch. “Your mom’s food is so good. I think I ate too much.”

“I’m glad you liked the food. You lost weight, and it concerns me,” he said softly.

She looked up at him. His brown eyes reminded her of a cup of hot coffee. His hair was so short, and she was tempted to run her hands through it anyway. “I did. For a while everything I ate came back up until I just stopped eating altogether. Too much stress I suppose.”

She wanted to tell him about the baby. But how? Blurt it out?

“I’m sorry for the heartache I caused you, angel.” His voice was filled with real grief. He linked their fingers together, and his touch felt good. “I am so angry with myself.”

“It wasn’t all you. I was upset about you and Carly. Every time I went into town people flocked to me wanting to know what went down between you, me, and Carly. Ques

tion after question. And of course Carly made me feel like I was the one getting in between you and her,” she said bitterly. Every time she thought she had a handle on her emotions she got dragged back into the past. “It was a horrible time because I had a secret of my own, and I held it in wishing I could yell it in their faces. I hated this town for a while and seriously thought about packing a suitcase and just disappearing.”

His arm tightened around her. “God, Noelle. No wonder you look at me with such a deep sorrow. I ran into Quinn at the diner a few days after I got home. All I said was hello. She looked like she was thinking of picking up a knife and gutting me. I literally ran out of there with my burger.”

Noelle choked down a laugh. Quinn was a loyal friend to Noelle. She had expressed her concerns about Noelle being hurt all over again.

“What was your secret?” Such an innocent question. She sat up and missed the feeling of having his arms holding her. She took a deep breath and exhaled. Her heart was thumping wildly, it was all she could hear. She unconsciously put her hands on her stomach, feeling hollow. “I was pregnant. I don’t know how it happened. We always used condoms. I felt some panic at first. You were gone and I felt uncomfortable asking your mom how I could get in touch with you. I knew sooner or later you would be back.”

He stayed silent for a minute, and she braced herself for anger or shouting. When none of that happened, she looked at him. His eyes were closed, and he had his elbows on his knees looking down at the carpet. He looked tortured when he finally looked at her. His eyes were filled with shock and tears. “Oh Jesus, Noelle. Why didn’t you have my mother get ahold of me? I would have come home to be with you.”

“You had proved your feelings for me were not of the lasting kind. I caught you in the arms of another woman, and as much as it killed me, I survived. Knowing I had another living, breathing soul counting on me gave me strength to move forward. I loved our baby, Chance. For a short while, I had a reason to get out of bed and ignore the circus in town that Carly was causing.” She spit it all out quickly. She could feel the heaviness sitting on her chest like a cinderblock. Anytime she thought about their baby, she felt that way. She mourned heavily for what could have been. Losing their child had left a gaping hole in her heart that was still there. She wasn’t sure it would ever go away.

“What happened to the baby?” he asked quietly. She could see how tense his body was.

“I woke up bleeding and terrified. I called 911, and when I woke up, they told me my baby was gone. Just like that.” She snapped her fingers, standing up and grabbing a tissue from the coffee table. She wiped her tears away, but they were quickly replaced by another set. “It was as if someone had ripped my soul out, my reason for going on. I wanted that part of you forever. You were always leaving. I realized I couldn’t hold you, but I could have a piece of you to hold on to.”

Noelle paced up and down. His tense silence was making her feel nervous. What was he thinking? Would he put the blame on her? She blamed herself.

“I thought I was doing everything right. I allowed myself to build a new dream without you, but I would have a piece of you Carly didn’t have. Then, just like that, I found myself alone again. As always.” She could feel her throat swell up and a flood of tears start leaking out of her eyes. She couldn’t hold them back this time. Her vision became blurry. “My baby was gone, just like that. No chance to say good-bye. I had lost you and our child. It was too much. I stopped caring about anything.”

He stood up and pulled her into his arms. She struggled against him, not wanting to be comforted. He was stronger and held her wiggling body until the fight left her. He buried his face in her neck, and she could feel his big body trembling. She didn’t know who cried first, but they held on to each other until the storm subsided.

“Our baby. If I had known, I would have traveled a thousand miles to be with you, Noelle,” he swore, his voice trembling with emotion.

She sobbed into his chest, not knowing what to say right now. Her brain was fuzzy, and she felt tired. His hands rubbed her back. “Your mom came to see me in the hospital, but I told her you didn’t need to know. What was the point? You were in the other side of the world, and you needed to concentrate. I wanted you safe, and we were over. I am not sure how many people know what happened besides Quinn and your mom. Slowly, the rumors faded away and people moved on to a new drama.”

She could feel his tears on her neck, and she wrapped her arms around his waist. She had her time to cry. Now it was his turn. She held him and waited for him to be ready to look at her. When he did, she could see the devastation in his eyes. “I am a selfish bastard, Noelle. I left you all alone in a mess. I should have called you, but I was afraid you would hang up on me. And I have the nerve to waltz into town asking for one more chance. You should hate me.”

“I told myself I did. I don’t. Maybe hate is easier to manage than love.” She had to be honest with him. They could not move past this if they didn’t get it out in the open.

He put his hands on her cheeks, forcing her to keep eye contact with him. She was glad she didn’t wear makeup tonight. She would have been a scary mess.

She hated to think of that horrible, cold night. She faced him so he could see her. She wanted him to understand why she couldn’t get involved with him again. It was just too painful. “I fell into a depression I am just getting out of. Now can you understand why I can’t just jump into a relationship with you like nothing ever happened? I can’t allow that black hole to consume me again.”

It was hard for her to admit she had been in such a dark place. It was still a place she visited from time to time. “You always left. How long will this job last until you get bored and leave again? Or eventually you will get bored, and another woman will catch your eye. I can’t allow myself to be hurt like that again, Chance.”

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