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I looked at the bottle trying to gauge what Mom meant by a few ounces. I called her because texting and feeding Asia was impossible.
“What now?” She asked.
“What’s a few ounces?”
“Ben, there are four ounces in the bottle what would you think a few ounces mean?” Rachel asked.
“Two?”
“Good guess.”
“What happens if I don’t burp her?” I asked.
“She might throw up on you or have a bad belly ache which will make her cry a lot.”
Wonderful. I had been pissed on by my daughter. Getting thrown up on would just cement the deal.
Chapter 5
I thought I was dreaming. I heard a baby crying. I put the pillow over my head, but the crying didn’t stop. Then Seth started shaking me after several minutes had passed and the baby was still crying too.
“Asia is crying. Get up,” Seth informed me.
I didn’t want to. He kept shaking me so now I had a screaming child and an annoying brother. I bolted upright and grabbed Seth by the front of his shirt. “Touch me again,” I warned him. Seth backed up and put both hands in the air.
“Just trying to help man,” he said.
It had been a week since I had brought Asia home. Jenny lied to me. This child was no angel. She woke three to four times every night.
Before I lost my mind or my job, it would be nice if the angel that Jenny and Elijah knew returned to me. One day this week, my boss found me asleep at my desk. Lucky for me, he was understanding when I explained about Asia. He was a father of four.
I was mortified when he asked to see her picture. I had none. I hadn’t taken one picture of her yet. I was new at this thing. I went home that night and took fifty pictures of her. Not intentionally. I lost count of what I was doing. The next day, I showed Tim the pictures I had taken.
He laughed at my embarrassment. Then he slapped me on the back and told me I would be fine and so would Asia. I could only hope that he and everyone else were right about this. Asia was depending on me.
I got out of bed and picked Asia up from the crib. “What’s the matter, baby girl?” I whispered to her. As I carried her to the bed she began to calm down. I laid her down, so I could get a diaper. One thing I had learned, most nights, at this time of night, she was wet.
I was getting really, good at changing diapers with my eyes half closed. When she was in a clean diaper, I knew Asia was most likely hungry too.
So, this wasn’t so hard. I was starting t
o learn what she needed. I mean it was hard. She was a baby and couldn’t talk. She woke me up a lot. I was exhausted and running on fumes and babies were a lot of work, but I was getting the hang of it. Yes, I was getting the hang of it. Now, I just needed some sleep.
I picked up Asia and headed to the kitchen to make a bottle when Seth met me in the hall with one.
“Thanks,” I said and took it from him. He detoured into his room and shut the door without responding. He had a been a huge help this week. I owed my little brother big time for helping me out with my daughter.
I went to the living room and curled up in the recliner, didn’t lay it back because I was afraid I would go to sleep and drop Asia. I stuck the bottle in her mouth and just watched her.
I looked for things that reminded me of Jasmine, but I could only see myself in my child. Sure, we both had dark hair and my daughter had a head of thick, dark hair so that could be because of either one of us but everything else was me from the shape of her eyes to the slant of her mouth. The slope of her jawline. Her features were all me. I recognized them from baby pictures of mine.
I gazed at this child. My daughter that I had created. I wanted to protect her and teach her things about growing up to be a good woman. Something I knew nothing about. For me, women meant one thing until a nineteen-year-old turned my life upside down.
I would have to rely on Danni, Mom and Jenny to help me know what Asia needed to learn about becoming a woman. First, I wanted Asia to know not to fall for dumb men like me. As unrealistic as this sounded, I wanted my daughter to be sure of herself and her choices and wait for love. I didn’t want to teach her my views on love which had become even more bitter since Jasmine lied to me. I was torn about this child’s mother and the anger I felt for her, but not about my child.
“You aren’t going to like this baby girl.”
I took the bottle out of Asia’s mouth and tipped her up to my shoulder. She fussed at me but laid her head against my bare skin. Her fingers laid flat against my chest creating a flutter of emotion that was stronger than anything I had ever felt in my life including the love I had felt for Disa. A child’s love is intense.
