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I laid the hair dryer on the dresser and ran a brush through my hair. I applied a light mauve gloss across my lips and stuck it in my pocket then I decided some eyeliner would make my eyes stand out with the contact lenses showing my eyes off today.
When I was done, I stepped back gazing at myself in the mirror. I still didn’t see the girl that Cal saw. The insecurities of my childhood eating away at the image that was presented in the mirror. The one that was there was not the one that my brain saw. I slipped into my ankle boots and grabbed my hoodie that was soft and lined with a warm, heavy liner that with the sweater would keep me warm outside.
Cal still hadn’t answered. I felt like I was suffocating so I decided to leave anyway. Maybe he would respond. I ran down the steps and at the front door, I shouted, “Leaving with Cal now.”
“Okay,” Mom replied from the kitchen. “Be home by midnight.”
I opened the door started to leave and then I called to her. “I love you.”
She appeared at the entrance to the kitchen. I could see her from my vantage point at the front door. She smiled at me. “I love you too,” Mom told me.
I smiled back at her then ran out the front door and down the drive. My phone tucked into my back pocket. I didn’t know where I was going. I didn’t understand why Cal hadn’t responded yet.
At the end of the drive I turned left and headed to the park about a mile from my house. The sky was gray like snow was coming which wasn’t an unusual thing for Ohio in November, but it wasn’t usual either. Ohio weather was unpredictable. We could have snow in October or April.
I walked to the park which was empty because it was Thanksgiving Day. On a warm Summer day, the geese and ducks frolicked in the park’s pond while the children played on the various playground sets.
We had a park like this in my town that we had left. Gram and Grandpa used to take me and Ty to play every Sunday when we were small children. I went to the swings and took a middle one and let loose gripping the chains tightly still afraid of going too high. The crisp air cooled my cheeks and took my breath away.
I heard his voice and let my feet skid across the dirt stopping my forward progress. “What are you doing here?” I asked Aiden.
He snorted at me. “What are you doing here?” He asked.
“Tension in the house,” I replied honestly. “I wanted to escape for a while. I couldn’t get a hold of Cal.”
“He’s home. I’m not welcome there anymore.”
He sat in the swing beside me.
“Thanks to me.”
He looked at me. There was so much sadness beneath the surface that Aiden didn’t usually let you see. “No,” he said. “Because of me.”
I was surprised that he admitted it. “So, what are you doing here.”
“Tension at home. Avoiding my Dad.”
“Why can’t your Mom see what he’s doing to you?” I asked.
His head shot around and he stared at me for the longest time. I thought he wouldn’t answer at first. Then he said, “Because I don’t want her to. She’s not well.”
“When did she get sick?” I asked.
Aiden looked away from me. “When I was eight.”
That long ago. He had been taking care of her for seven or eight years. He began to talk about his mother’s MS. How at first, she was okay. She could still do the things she always had. Then it got worse. She couldn’t cook or clean. She couldn’t come to his football games. He missed that the most.
He started to swing. Kicking his legs, he went higher and higher while I watched him.
“Be careful,” I warned him.
“Why? Only she would miss me,” he said. “One day she won’t be here then who do I have?”
“Cal,” I insisted.
He dragged his feet along the dirt until his swing stopped. He looked at me like I was crazy. “No, I don’t have him. Not anymore.”
“You do. He’s just angry at you.”
