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Mrs. Gardener remained quiet. “Could I go back and sit with Abby?” I asked.
Her mother nodded at me. I headed down the long hallway towards the entrance. I pushed the buttons and told them I was there to see Abby Gardener. I was buzzed into ICU.
The nurses gave me a compassionate smile. I tried to smile in return, but my gut was aching. I leaned over the bed and kissed Abby’s forehead then I sat with her and held her hand.
My thumb traced over her delicate hand. I rested my head next to her shoulder and let the tears flow from my eyes. “I love you Abby,” I whispered. “Get well baby so I can tell you with your beautiful eyes open.”
**
My head felt heavy like a weight was sitting on it. My eyes were sealed shut by something. I heard their voices, but I couldn’t wake up.
I heard Cal begging me to wake up soon. I heard him telling me to get better so he could tell me that he loved me. I heard his voice as he read my stories over and over, wanting to connect to me somehow.
Then Tyson was there throughout this period that I felt ensconced in darkness. Unable to move my limbs, speak or open my eyes, I had no choice but to listen to them.
Tyson was remorseful. He blamed himself. The girls were to blame. Delia Art had done this to me. Tyson was crying. That was the hardest part. Unable to comfort those I loved.
My parents argued from time to time when they were here together in my room. Secrets I’m not sure that I was supposed to hear. They were having trouble. Mom wasn’t happy. I felt that was my fault. Mom had been seeing a therapist. That is why we couldn’t reach her so often.
My dad didn’t understand.
So, me? I laid here waiting and wondering when the fog would life and my eyes would finally open. I didn’t know how long it had been.
I heard Christmas music one morning. I know they had to fight with Cal and Mom to get them to go home.
I could only assume it was Christmas. Cal was the first to visit me that day. He sat beside me like he always did. His hands big and strong grasped mine. They were cold. I flinched; an involuntary reaction. It made him happy though. “You are in there Abby, aren’t you?” He asked.
He slipped something on my finger. Cool, metal. “I can’t wait for you to see this Abby. It’s a promise ring.”
His finger traced over the ring on my left hand. “It’s my promise to love you forever. I will even if you don’t love me that long.”
I wanted to open my eyes so I could see the ring that Cal had put there, but something was still holding me back.
New Year’s Eve, I could hear the celebration on the television. I had missed the entire Christmas break. Bummer. Mom and Cal spent the evening with me.
They talked a lot. I realized that I hadn’t seen my father in several days. I wanted to ask about him but couldn’t. I felt stronger. Better. My mind clearer except for the blackness that held me down. I couldn’t shake that yet.
Finally, in January, the doctor advised the swelling was down. I was going back to surgery. Surgery I didn’t know I had in the first place. The voices were silent once again until the medicine wore off from the second surgery.
They decided to bring me out of the medically induced coma. My brain waves were normal. I had some weakness in my left leg and arm. Otherwise, I felt good, I would have told the surgeon in recovery, but I hadn’t found my voice even though my eyelids were starting to flutter like they might open.
Then I was taken back to ICU where I would be monitored for another week, I heard my doctor tell my mother and Cal after I was settled in my room. Cal who had not left my side through most of Christmas break. Cal who had put a promise ring on my left hand.
I wanted to see that ring.
It was time to open my eyes now that I could.
It was dark outside my window. I could see the snow falling in the light that hung by the edge of the frame. I glanced to the right and saw Cal’s head on the bed. He was sleeping. I glanced to the left and Mom was kicked back in the chair sleeping too. I had heard Rhonda and Grandma while I was here. Rhonda wanted me to get better soon as she was pregnant again. She couldn’t wait to tell me. I already knew though. I heard them all.
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sp; I laid my hand on Cal’s head and ran my fingers through his soft hair. I felt him move beneath my palm. Then he turned his head and gazed at me. I tried to smile but couldn’t. My jaw was still sore.
Tears rolled down his cheeks. I wiped them away. “I love you,” I croaked.
He smiled at me. “I’ve been waiting to hear you say that.”
I nodded. Mom still slept. “Come here,” I requested.
