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“I look funny, don’t I?” She laughed with him and it felt good. She knew she shouldn’t keep hiding. It was what she had been doing. Hiding from her disease. Her baldness. The effects of the chemo. She felt terrible most of the time. It was wearing her down. She was letting cancer win.
She gazed over his head and saw Maria standing in the door with tears in her eyes because she had
n’t seen Sophie’s baldness either. “No crying,” she warned her. “Or I will too.” It was shocking for everyone, Sophie knew.
Her mother-in-law sniffed back her tears. “I have food that I have been working on for you. I think I have some things you might be able to eat.”
Her dad helped her off the floor and Joshua held her hand while they headed to their chairs. Brad put Joshua in his high chair near Sophie. She sat down and looked around the various bowls on the table.
“The mac and cheese is creamy,” Maria told her. She scooped some onto her plate. “Josh told me you’re not eating well.”
Sophie took a bite. Textures and taste was changed by her chemo. To go along with that was the constant gnawing, ache in her belly that made her feel nauseated. She looked at food and felt blah. Nothing was appealing anymore.
The mac and cheese dish was delicious. She could eat it and Joshua was eating with her, making a mess, dropping more on the floor than he got in his mouth, making Sophie laugh. Maria sat across from her not eating herself. She shoved another dish across the table to her.
Sophie looked in. “What’s this?”
“Oatmeal with pureed fruit to add some natural sweetness.”
She took a few bites. “Apples and bananas? Are you sure you didn’t put baby food in this?”
“I did not use baby food, but it did give me the idea.”
Sophie chuckled. “It’s really good, Maria. Naturally sweet.” She sucked down another bite. “Thank you. I know I’ve been miserable to live with.”
Maria got out of her chair and walked around the table. She leaned over and kissed her bald head. “No worries, sweetheart. I’ve got pretty thick skin and so does your mother.”
Sophie almost choked on the bite of oatmeal in her mouth. Then Maria shoved the custard at her daughter-in-law and Sophie liked it too. “I have more for you to take home with you.”
She patted her hand resting on her shoulder. “Thank you, for everything.”
A lifetime of caring. Always supporting them no matter how many mistakes they made. Never being afraid to confront them with the truth even when it hurt like Ally needing to be home for her own sake.
“We love you, Sophie. You’re our daughter too.”
She nodded unable to speak. She appreciated that sentiment. Her father carried Joshua to the bedroom for her. She took Joshua from him at the crib. “Nana loves you peanut. So very much.” Sophie kissed his cheek and laid him down. Time for his nap, Joshua was a good sleeper and ready for this.
“Nigh, nigh.” He rubbed his eyes tiredly.
She and her dad backed out of the room and softly, shut the door. In the hall, she laid her forehead against the solid wood.
“You okay, honey?” Duke asked her.
Nodding, Sophie pulled herself away. “I’m kind of tired, Dad. Could we go home?”
“Sure honey. I’ll take you home.”
She went downstairs and told her in-laws goodbye. She didn’t pay attention to what her dad was doing. She was in a fog, thinking about what Deandra had told her earlier. She needed to pull herself out of this funk.
Maria sent home the food she had made for her. Her dad was gathering that together. He carried it to the car. “Sophie, what’s wrong?” He asked snapping his seatbelt in place.
She stared out the window. “Talking to Deandra today, I realized that I’m probably depressed. I sit around and watch television. I don’t work anymore because I’m so exhausted.”
“So maybe do some of your charitable stuff that doesn’t affect you every day.” No one understood how she felt. Their suggestions were only irritating her.
“I’m afraid of germs,” she grumbled.
“Wear a mask, Sophie. You can’t quit living which is what you’ve done.”
