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“Skylar, you staying?” Aine asked.
“I don’t think so. I just stopped by to see Ronan in person. Grateful to see he is actually alive. The last time that I saw him he was in a medically induced coma with tubes and monitors attached to him. I wasn’t sure he was going to live.” She glared at me, I thought. “I’ll be back on Sunday for our weekly dinner. We’re all coming this Sunday,” she informed me.
Oh goodie.
“Okay, see you Sunday,” Aine told her.
I followed Skylar out to the yard. I asked her if she was okay again. Something was different. We grew up together; I knew her tells and signs and I could sense something wasn’t right. She hesitated at the bottom of the steps looking up at me. “How long have you been doing drugs?”
“Forever,” I replied. “Senior year in high school is when I began using weed.” I wouldn’t lie to her. She nodded. She proceeded to tell me how she idolized me. I didn’t know why. I was an asshole. Maybe not to her but to many people that she had seen for herself.
“You were sweet to me Ronan.”
“I tried to be.” She was biting her lip. Gracie struggled in my arms. I could see Gramps and Fionn walking across the field. I let her down in the grass and she took off running toward them. I glanced back at Skylar.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Do you remember about four months ago…Stokes told you I ran into you downtown at Hot Shot?”
Vaguely. The details were murky for all of us. Did I do something to hurt her. Was I obnoxious with her? “What did I do?” I was dreading her response.
“You were wasted Ronan? I was so worried about you after that night. I should have said something to somebody.”
“It isn’t your fault,” I said quickly. Not another person blaming themselves for my actions. I couldn’t have that.
“Maybe, maybe not. I took you home that night. You don’t remember anything?”
“You took me home?” My voice rose a few octaves.
“I did.” She turned towards her car. “I’ll see you on Sunday, Ronan.” At her car door, Skylar glanced at me then she opened her door. “Ronan, there are a lot of people who care about you, including me. People who need you. Promise me…” she hesitated to collect herself, “Promise me, you won’t don’t do it again.”
“I won’t.”
“Bye Ro,” she said. Then Skylar dipped into the car. She started the engine and backed out. She didn’t even look back at me as she drove down the lane. I had a bad feeling about this. I turned and went inside, not liking at all that Skylar brought me home and I didn’t remember anything about it.
Except, the next morning I woke up naked in my bed. Naked but alone. I went directly to the kitchen to speak to Aine. “Did Skylar tell you about bringing me home from a nightclub about four months ago?” I asked her.
Aine turned with a spoon in her hand, sauce dripped onto the stove. She stared at me. “What are you talking about?”
I relayed to Aine what Skylar told me about the whole incident. I was frantically searching my brain for details about that night but it was a total blank. A giant black hole of time that I was missing. I didn’t like not remembering. “She didn’t tell me anything. You were wasted,” she declared not asked.
“She said I was.”
“Ronan, how badly did you abuse drugs?”
I chewed on my lower lip. “I had blackouts from time to time when I was so wasted that I didn’t know what happened the night before.”
She shook her head at me.
“It was controlled Aine. I had everything under control until the heroin incident.” Even hearing the words come out of my mouth I knew how ridiculous they sounded.
“You didn’t Ronan if you don’t remember Sky bringing you home.” She was giving me that look. I knew it well. I had seen it from my mother before when I was a kid and had done something so stupid that could have gotten me killed. Like when we used bungie cords Gramps used to tie down tarps on the farm truck to swing from the rafters in the loft of Gramps barn. We swung down to the ground below pretending we were bunging jumping. Mom almost had a heart attack when the grandparents told her about it. Then she almost killed us.
You could only imagine the screaming going on as we bounced towards the ground until Grams or Gramps came outside and put a stop to it before one
of us smashed our brains on the floor of the barn. We loved the rush of adrenaline. We all did except Fionn. He stood in the door and watch us do the dumb things. He was the only smart one.
“I’m going to my room for a while unless you need me?”
