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“Don’t even think about it, Jules. I know what you’re thinking, and I don’t want it back.”
I lift my chin slightly, peering up at him. His eyes swirl with distress and affliction. “How do you know what I’m thinking?” I softly ask.
He breathes out a huff of air, sounding slightly offended. “You really have to ask that? I’ve spent damn near every waking hour with you for the past six weeks. I know how you think.”
“Travis,” I clench my jaw and look away from him, not sure if I want to hear the answer, “why did you ask me to marry you?”
His two fingers come to rest under my chin, turning my head back to him. “That’s a loaded question,” he states as his eyes bore a hole through me, straight to my soul. His voice is serious and full of finality, “but one we will address later, when we have time to work on us. The ring stays on.”
Wow. He's seems so sure of this...of us. It would have been nice to hear an I love you.
“What does keeping this ring on until things blow over have to do with anything?” I whisper, confused. I slip my hands out from under his, and despite his protest, I hold the ring out for him to take back. He shakes his head adamantly, refusing it.
“No, Jules,” he breathes in a low voice, and he looks as if I ripped a piece of his heart out, but I continue to hold the ring out for him to take anyway, remaining silent. “This isn’t going to happen right now,” he insists, his tone hell-bent with determination. As if he’s in denial, he wraps his hand back around mine, closing the ring inside the palm of my hand. His eyes search mine for answers, but I don’t have any. He’s the one who popped the question, and like everything else, he remains elusive as to why he does the things he does.
My voice comes out croaky and downhearted. “Relationships are built on communication and trust, not on lies and deceit. Have you forgotten the fact I’m already engaged to someone else, Travis?” He briefly closes his eyes, and his jaw muscles flex with tension.
“We are not discussing this right now,” he states firmly, and the discussion is over. There’s a war going on between the two of us, an unspoken one with our eyes. With renewed determination, he takes the ring from my hand and slips it back on my finger. I look from the ring back to his eyes in disbelief. “This ring belongs here, right on your finger. Even if I were to take it back, which I won’t, I have nowhere safe to keep it right now. First, let’s get through this ordeal alive…then we’ll talk,” he says adamantly. It’s obvious I’ve upset him. Maybe he does love me and doesn’t know how to say it. “We’re also going to need to sort out the battle scars in your head before you even think about handing that ring back.”
“I don’t need to sort out anything, Travis. I know what I need. I need to go home.”
I watch as he forces himself to relax, battling to keep his voice calm. “You can’t do that just yet. We’ve already discussed the reasons why you can’t go home right now. You need to trust me when I tell you the full magnitude of the past two days hasn’t hit you yet. The amount of emotional turmoil on your psyche is going to bowl you over,” he says with concern.
“I’m fine,” I whisper, looking down at my hands.
“Unfortunately, I know better.” He lifts my chin, forcing me to meet his somber gaze. “I’ve been through this hell before. Shit, I’ve been trained for it, but even that doesn’t stop the consequences that follow the act. Even the most highly trained men and women struggle with the aftermath of battle. It’s a basic fact. Something happens on a subconscious level when you pull the trigger.”
“I don’t want to talk about this right now, Travis.” My heartbeat accelerates just from the mention of the word trigger, and I squeeze my eyes tightly, wishing it away. He tucks a stray piece of hair behind my ear in a tender show of compassion.
“Hey,” he says in a soft, husky voice, “don’t check out on me.” I search those beautiful eyes of his, and all I see is genuine concern. “I have to wrap up some plans with my men out there, sweetheart. They’re waiting on me.” He brushes his lips over mine in an endearing kiss. “I want you to take a nice, warm shower while I finish debriefing my men, and then after that, I want you to eat something.”
I clear my throat. “Why can't you tell me what’s going on?”
