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I was torn. On the one hand, he’d been complimentary of me and our time together, but he had also treated our relationship like he was weighing the pros and cons of buying a car. There was no mention of his emotions or how he felt about me. I was just the human body carrying his child, and he would do his best to get along with me. That wasn’t what I wanted. I’d pictured myself married with children, but there had always been love. I never imagined my marriage as a business arrangement.
“If he’s treating you so well, then come have coffee with me,” Devin said, pulling me from my thoughts.
No, absolutely not. I couldn’t see my brother. I’d crack. I’d reveal everything about the pregnancy and my complex feelings for Gavril. But, on the other hand, was that such a bad thing? Devin was going to find out eventually, and it would be better to tell him in person and early on in the pregnancy, so he would have time to get used to it. The only problem was getting Gavril to allow me to go. He’d told me I could leave the house as long as I had a guard with me, but he’d never said anything specific about meeting my brother, and something told me he would have an issue with that.
“I’m not sure, Dev.”
“I thought he was treating you well,” he said, his tone mocking. “If you’re a prisoner, then he isn’t treating you well.”
“I’m not a prisoner. I just haven’t been feeling well the last few days.”
“Is Gavril feeding you?” he snapped. “Is he taking care of you?”
“Of course he is feeding me.” If Devin really thought my situation was that bad, then I had to go see him. He needed to know that not only was Gavril giving me the basics of life like food, water, and shelter, but he had also given me feather down pillows and sparkling water. In most ways, my life was better with Gavril.
“Just meet with me,” Devin begged. “Thirty minutes. Let me see you and make sure you are okay. Please.”
I sighed. “Fine. I’ll meet with you.”
“The diner across from Mom’s old church in forty-five minutes, okay?”
“Yeah, that’s okay.”
“Good. See you then.”
He hung up before I could respond.
I debated whether I should call Gavril or not. I didn’t want to hide anything from him, but I wasn’t sure he would let me go. He didn’t trust my brother, and I could understand why. Devin had stolen from him and lied to him. And even though Gavril had agreed to my deal to sell myself to save my brother, he still despised the fact that my brother hadn’t made any effort to save me or pay back Gavril to end the deal. He had simply let me take the fall for him. And for someone like Gavril who had to solve every problem himself, there was nothing else Devin could have done to lose more of his respect.
In the end, I decided it was easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. I’d take the guard with me and have protection just like Gavril had demanded, and if he got angry, I’d remind him that there hadn’t been any rules against meeting with my brother.
My thought process seemed to be backed up by the fact that the guard didn’t hesitate to take me to the diner to meet my brother. There was no question of where I was going or who I would be meeting with because Gavril had told the man to take me where I wanted to go, so that was what he was going to do.
The diner was across the street from the church my mom had gone to when we were kids. It was closed down now, the stained-glass windows boarded over and rust covering the metal cross that hung from the front of the stone building. She’d never forced us to go with her, though I had a few times, mostly around Christmas and Easter.
My mom didn’t talk about religion much, and I didn’t get the sense she had any strong feelings about it, but she always smiled when she was at church, listening to the choir and nodding along with the rhythmic preaching of the pastor. When the church closed down, she briefly looked for another one, but then she got sick and gave up the search.
Devin’s car was parked along the curb in front of the church, and I saw him sitting at a table near the large front window of the diner as I approached. He smiled at me and waved, his smile turning to a frown as he noticed the guard behind me.
“You come with your own secret service now?” he asked as I sat down across from him.
“Just some added protection,” I said.
