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Ed picked up Alec’s bag in the hallway and led him up the stairs. He opened the door to his room and stepped aside to let him go in first. “You’re in with me, I’m afraid. We don’t have a spare room.”
“That’s fine.” Alec looked around. His gaze lit on Ed’s duvet cover and his lips quirked. “Harry Potter?”
Bugger. Ed had forgotten about that. “Blame my mum’s sense of humour. She always insists on using this one.”
Alec put his bag down on the mattress on the floor. “Is this one mine?”
“No, you have the proper bed, it’s probably more comfy. I don’t mind taking the one on the floor if you can cope with Harry Potter.”
“Harry Potter’s fine.” Alec moved his bag to the bed and unzipped it. “Is it okay if I get changed? This suit feels a little formal for dinner with your family.”
He was wearing something that looked a lot like what he wore to the office. Ed hadn’t even registered his outfit, as he was used to seeing Alec like that.
“Of course.” Ed went and sat on the edge of the bed while Alec took off his jacket and draped it over the back of Ed’s desk chair. Ed watched as Alec dropped his trousers and unbuttoned his shirt. Alec turned his back to Ed as he changed and the parallel lines of the scars on his back were visible in the bright overhead light, a brutal reminder of why Alec was here.
“Do you want to talk about what happened with your parents?” Ed asked softly.
Alec didn’t reply as he put on an old pair of jeans and a soft-looking T-shirt. He got a grey jumper out of his bag and pulled that over his head, turning to face Ed as his head emerged. He smoothed his rumpled dark hair back into place before he spoke.
“I’m not sure there’s much to say. I told them, so it’s out in the open now. But they didn’t like it. I wasn’t expecting them to.” He shrugged, but it was a tense, painful movement rather than a nonchalant one.
“Come here.” Ed held out a hand.
Alec hesitated for a moment before moving closer and taking it. Ed tugged him down to sit on the bed, and he put his arm around Alec’s shoulders. “It was brave of you to tell them, especially when you knew it would be difficult. How do you feel now you’ve done it?”
Alec took a shaky breath. “Weird. Untethered… lighter somehow. As if I’ve been carrying this massive weight around with me, and now it’s gone I don’t know what to do with myself. But it was horrible. Even though I should have known it would be like that, I couldn’t help hoping….” His voice thickened and he leaned in closer to Ed, putting a hand on Ed’s thigh as he bit out the words. “I couldn’t help hoping they’d be able to accept it. To accept me.”
His voice broke then, and Ed moved closer, wrapping his arms around Alec as his body shuddered with a sob.
Ed held Alec tight, murmuring words of comfort. “It’ll be okay… it’ll be okay. I’m sorry.” His heart hurt for Alec. He could only imagine how it would feel to face that kind of rejection from the people who were supposed to love you unconditionally. “Maybe they just need some time.”
Alec pulled himself together, wiping his eyes roughly as he drew away. He looked furious with himself for his show of emotion. “I’m angry as much as I’m sad,” he said. “It’s so fucking stupid. What difference does it make whether I’m gay or straight? In this day and age, most people don’t care. It won’t affect my career. It shouldn’t be anyone else’s business.”
“I know,” Ed agreed. “Are you going to come out at work too now?” Hope rose, even though now wasn’t the right time to ask Alec about what it might mean for their relationship.
“Yes.” Alec nodded, his jaw set with determination. He turned to Ed and his eyes were fierce. “No more hiding. No more lies. I’m hoping to be offered a partnership role very soon, and I’m going to tell them before I accept. I want to get everything out in the open at last.”
“Wow, Alec, that’s amazing. Congratulations.” A smile spread across Ed’s face. “You kept that quiet. When did you hear?”
“Only on Friday, and it’s not official. I hope I’m not jinxing it by mentioning it… but Katherine implied it’s very likely.”
“Are you sure now’s a good time to come out, though?” Ed’s stomach lurched. What if Alec’s brave decision jeopardised his promotion?
“There will never be a perfect time, but if they’re going to make the offer, they can’t change their minds and withdraw it because I’m gay. My orientation doesn’t affect my ability to do my job. The partners don’t need to know the details of my love life or that Belinda was never a real girlfriend. It’s not relevant. And I’m done with pretending. I want to be out.” Alec took Ed’s hands in his, and Ed’s heart did a somersault as he stared into Alec’s eyes. “I want to be free to have a real relationship… with you, Ed. If you’ll have me. Will you give me another chance?”
