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“Ed,” Alec said softly. “Ed, look at me.” Ed raised his gaze and was stunned by the burning intensity in Alec’s gaze. “I’m not going to lie to you. If I hadn’t met you, I probably wouldn’t be coming out now.” Ed flinched. “But—and this is a crucial but—I’m not coming out for you. You’re a factor, of course, I can’t deny it, because I don’t want to lose you through my cowardice. By coming out now, I have a chance at the kind of happiness I never imagined for myself before I met you.” Alec’s eyes were shining and his voice had gone a little hoarse. “I love you, Ed. I’m coming out for me, so I can be with you—for real. Boyfriends… partners… whatever you want to call it. No more risky office sex and stolen moments. I want the whole package.”
Ed’s eyes prickled. “I love you too,” he managed on a choked breath. “God. I can’t believe this is actually happening.” He kissed Alec again, throwing a leg over him to keep him close in the narrow bed. The duvet slipped and Ed pulled it back up to cover them without breaking the kiss. Then amusement bubbled up inside, fed by the elation of the moment. He pulled away to let it out, laughing breathlessly as Alec frowned in confusion.
“Sorry,” Ed gasped. “It just struck me as funny. This is hands down the most romantic experience of my life to date… but the setting leaves a lot to be desired. I can’t believe I’m finally confessing my feelings to the man of my dreams under a Harry Potter duvet cover.”
Alec snorted and his lips twitched, and then they both cracked up laughing, trying to stifle the sound so they wouldn’t disturb the rest of Ed’s family, who were probably asleep by now.
When they got their laughter under control, Ed was weak and his stomach hurt from it. They lay in silence then, Ed with his head on Alec’s shoulder and his leg still thrown across Alec’s thighs.
Alec yawned.
“Are you ready to sleep?” Ed asked.
“Yes. I can hardly keep my eyes open,” Alec admitted.
“Want me to go and sleep in the other bed? There’s barely room for two in here.”
“No.”
Ed smiled at the certainty in Alec’s voice. “Okay. Well, let me turn the lamp off, and we can rearrange ourselves so nobody ends up with a dead arm.”
Once the lights were off, they managed to get comfortable, with Alec spooned up behind Ed and his arm draped over him.
“Mmmm.” Ed sighed sleepily. “This reminds me of the first time we slept together. I woke up in the middle of the night, and we were in exactly this position.” He wriggled his arse back against Alec.
Alec groaned. “Don’t start that. I’m too tired, plus I told you, I’m not fucking you in your parents’ house.”
“Spoilsport.” Ed took Alec’s hand and held it tight against his chest.
“Goodnight, Ed,” Alec whispered.
“Night.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Alec woke to the feeling of a warm body in his arms and the tickle of Ed’s hair in his nostrils. He opened his eyes and saw daylight creeping around the edge of the curtains. The events of the day before trooped into his consciousness, and he ran through them until he remembered exactly where he was and why he was here.
He smiled. A sense of freedom and elation swept through him, so powerful that it made him want to shout or sing. But instead he satisfied himself with hugging Ed closer and dropping a kiss onto the back of his head, letting the happiness settle, deep and warm in the marrow of his bones.
As he lay there waiting for Ed to wake, Alec tried to remember the last time he’d felt such a heady combination of joy and excitement. He wasn’t sure he ever had—maybe in his final year at school, when he got his offer from Oxford to read law? He’d hoped that he might come out at university and find a way to be himself. But then the shit hit the fan over the incident at school, and fear paralysed him in the fallout, trapped him into choices he’d regretted, yet been unable to escape from.
He breathed in the warm scent of the skin at the nape of Ed’s neck. Ed was the key. The key to his lonely closet and the motivation Alec had needed to find the strength to break free of the past, and he would be forever grateful to Ed whatever the future held for them. It was only the start for them, he knew, but Alec was optimistic.
The sound of the television filtered up from the floor below, along with the crashing of crockery and muffled voices. The twins’ voices raised in dispute were quickly hushed by Janine.
Ed stirred then and stretched, turning in Alec’s arms until they were facing each other. He kissed Alec’s lips lightly, then grinned. “Hi.”
