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Ella came home just in time to have dinner with us and she talked almost the whole dinner.
We had all changed into our pajamas and Jemmy was excited to watch some fashion show on T.V. I was shocked that the guys didn’t object until I saw that it was a lingerie fashion show. The models walked up and down the runway with little bits of lace, satin, and silk with wings on their backs, angel, butterfly, dragon fly, bumble bees, lady bugs, crows, peacocks, and other variations. I admired their beauty because even though they were tall, they didn’t look emaciated as most of them did.
“Holy wow,” Jemmy breathed as one of the models took the stage. She had on a red lace push up bra (although she didn’t need much of help in that area), red thong, red garters, and red thigh highs to clip on them. Her wings imitated that of a red and gold macaw, her makeup in reds and golds. Instead of looking macabre or gaudy, she looked elegant and beautiful. Her long blond hair was very pale, almost white and fell to the top of her hips, her skin was fair, like she never went in the sun, but not washed out. As the camera panned onto her face, I could see she had very full lips and pale grey eyes. She was stunning.
She walked back to behind the curtains where the host was showing the flurry and chaos behind the scenes. They panned out to the stage where some famous up-and-coming pop star was getting ready to take the stage. Then they went to back stage again where some of the girls were casually conversing in next to nothing next to their boyfriends or husbands.
I gasped as my eyes widened. Leaning casually against the wall was Jace. Looking more splendid and more model-like than I had ever seen him. He wore a tuxedo and he hadn’t shaved today, so he looked ruggedly handsome. The camera panned in on him as he laughed at something the previous model said, as she draped herself along his body. They looked so perfect together. Like they belonged together.
I gulped fighting the feelings of hurt. Was this the urgent business that called him away from us, from me?
“Isn’t that Jace? Lucky guy. Who’s the girl?” Rachel asked as she popped some M& M’s in her mouth.
“That’s Molly Hunt,” Remy said squeezing me to his side. “His EX-girlfriend.” He said, emphasizing ‘ex’.
I looked away. “Doesn’t look like work to me,” I muttered.
“Troy had a security detail there tonight,” Drake quickly turned to look at me, before I could slip on my poker face. He must have seen the hurt in my eyes. “We all get called in to help sometimes when he’s short on men, and since a few of the people on staff and models are gifted we help when we can.” He tried to quickly reassure me.
“That’s not work,” Rachel laughed. “I’m surprised you all didn’t volunteer to help,” she snorted, not realizing the mounting tension in the room.
“That’s the same Ex he’s still really good friends with? Like, best friends?” I asked softly looking at Jemmy, who quickly turned away and then looked at Jax. They were open books. They wouldn’t have been able to lie to me.
“They’re just friends,” Jax said quickly, too quickly.
“And that’s a lie,” Rachel said quietly as if she realized she was missing something and looked at me and at all the guys in turn. “Is he your connected?” she blurted out.
I didn’t answer her, I just got up and left the room. “Night all. I’m tired. School in the morning, you know.” I said over my shoulder.
There was a light knocking on my door and I refused to answer it. I didn’t want anyone to see me right now. I felt weak as the tears fell on my pillow. How silly of me to believe someone that sophisticated could be interested in me? Connection or no connection, I was tired of feeling like I was competing with these girls. Seriously, they were all gorgeous, all more mature in age—and experience, I’m sure—and had known these guys for years.
I was wallowing so much in my self-pity I didn’t even hear him enter until I felt the dip in my bed.
“He never thought you were coming, none of us did. I know he hoped, more than all of us, he searched the hardest, but they were kids when they met. I know he will always care for her but believe me when I tell you since you have come into our lives he’s been distancing himself from her. Even before he knew for certain it was you. He moved out of state to find you and separate himself from her.” Remy said gruffly as he perched himself on the edge of my bed.
“It doesn’t matter,” I tried to pretend like I hadn’t been crying. “I’m a realist. I grew up in the life of hard knocks. I know you guys are attractive and authentically good guys. I really can’t expect you guys to be content to be tethered to just me while I get to show and express my affections with all of you when and how I want to. Let’s be real, I’m a kid in age and looks compared to Molly, Stacey, and Rose. Maybe not so much with Tamara, but even then, she knows Jax more than I ever have. She’s made sure to let me know every opportunity she could this past week.”
He shifted so that he could lay down behind me. “You are so much older in experience than all of them combined. Your age isn’t really a factor. You are our connected and believe it or not the more we get to know you and be around you we are content knowing no one else would do for us. The more you start to understand how the gifted community works, the more you’ll realize that once we’re all connected we won’t be able to even think of another.”
I snorted. “How can I compete with any of those girls? I can’t. I have seen some graphic, lewd, and lascivious behavior when it comes to sex and all the acts that go along with it and I haven’t the slightest clue how to attract any of you if I wanted to. I don’t know how I could please any of you.”
He turned me so I was facing him. “You’re kidding me, right? We are all drawn to you like a moth to a flame. You don’t have to do anything. You just need to be you. You were created for us, and us for you.”
I laughed dryly. “Why haven’t you tried to kiss me then? You treat me like a little sister, okay, maybe not quite like a sister, but it’s like you’re reluctant, just as much as Jace was to this situation.”
The moonlight was streaming through the window and I could see the war that was being fought in his eyes. “Because I know if I start, I wouldn’t want to stop. I’m…a little rough and I’m good at just taking what I want and walking away. I can’t with you.” He finally murmured.
“Try,” I whispered softly. Forgetting my turmoil from moments ago.
I knew it took a lot for him to come see me tonight. He normally ran when my emotions got high. I had a feeling his demons were just as big, if not bigger than mine.
He muttered something under his breath before his lips took mine. Rough. He wasn’t soft or exploring and I understood now, once his passion was unleashed he had a hard time reigning it in, but I met him with relish. The anger I felt with Jace and Noah was released out of its cage as I met his rough mouth and tongue with my own.
I grabbed the back of his head and lightly tugged on his hair, so he knew I was ready for this challenge, but not so roughly that I would hurt him. I noticed he practiced restraint as I felt his whole length stretched across me. He took my hands and pinned them above my head as he delved into my mouth repeatedly. He groaned as his lips began to trail demanding licks, sucks, and nips on the side of my neck to my collar bone.
“I’ll stop whenever you want. Just say the word,” his voice was thick with desire.
“No…not yet,” I moaned as I thrust my hips into him.
