AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Nervous?” Jace murmured huskily.
I nodded.
“Would you like my help?” he held out his hand.
I know what he was suggesting, but I felt like it was cheating. I felt like this was something I needed to do on my own. I wanted to know I could do this on my own merit.
I shook my head. “No thank you, but can you just hold my hand?”
I could see the wonder in his eyes. A few days ago, I had been anti touching. I didn’t like casual contact, especially with men. Jemmy and the guys had worn me down.
We walked into the auditorium; it was huge and expansive. It could easily sit over three thousand people. I whirled in amazement, looking at it all. A week
ago, I would have thought that never in my wildest dreams could I be standing here. The main auditorium was dimly lit, but the stage was lit up. Various instruments were already on stage. In front of the stage was a six-foot table with five seats. A few of the seats were already taken up by people, but two remained open, including the one in the middle.
I was surprised to see there were at least twenty other people waiting for the auditions. Only a few wore the uniform I was wearing. Everyone else had on casual dressy to formal wear. Clearly dressed to impress. They hadn’t told me other people were auditioning. Again, they probably didn’t want to show me any favoritism. A lot of the people auditioning had people with them and I was thankful for Will and Jace being there for me. I gave Will a side hug, much to his astonishment, and I looked up at Jace, squeezing his hand trying to convey to him how truly thankful I was for him being here. He gave me a tiny smile in return, the low lighting in the auditorium making it hard for me to decipher his expression.
We walked down near the front where other people were already seated. Will got in first and I followed with Jace sitting on the end. Jace sat back, put one arm behind my chair, and held my hand with the other. His legs were touching mine and I felt silly for thinking it felt extremely intimate.
We didn’t have to wait long before the other seats were filled. The gentleman that was in the middle finally stood up and walked on stage. He was a tall and on the skinny side. He wore glasses and looked to be extremely haughty. He wore a grey suit with a blue tie. He gave the impression that we were wasting his time and he didn’t want to be here. He had a slight accent I couldn’t place.
“Good morning, everyone. Today we have twenty-six potential applicants. Only two of you will make it, so impress us. We will be calling you up one at a time. I want your name and what you are preforming.”
With that he sat back down.
“That’s Dr. Allen. He’s fastidious, but if you were to be fortunate enough to be taught by him, you wouldn’t regret it. All of his students rise to the top,” Will whispered to me.
I nodded, too nervous to talk. Jace must have sensed it because he rubbed his thumb on the palm of my hand. I was thankful he was trying to push his gift on me but was still morally supporting me. I had less than a ten percent chance of getting in.
One by one they called the applicants up alphabetically. That left my name to be called near the end. I gulped. I would have much rather gotten up, gone first, and gotten it over with. But that wasn’t my luck. Everyone played a song from one of the most prestigious composers; Bach, Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin, Brahms, Liszt, Puccini, Ravel, and the list went on. Several instruments were played, including the piano. Only a few had made noticeable mistakes, but most of them sounded astounding, beyond astounding. Nobody played an original. No one. It made me second guess myself once more.
Finally, my name was called. I stood on shaky legs. Jace stood with me and gently brushed my back as I passed him. I headed to the board’s table first and handed them each a copy of my sheet music. Then, I made my way up the stairs, telling myself to breathe. I tried to take deep controlled breaths. I tried to pretend I was performing in front of my new-found family and not a board of people that were determining my musical future. It was a dream I never thought I could indulge in, but now that it was a possibility, I wanted it more than anything else.
I stood up to the microphone and said, “Good morning, my name is Blake Thomas and today I will be performing an original, “Rumination.””
I could see varying shades of disapproval, wonderment, and confusion on the board’s faces. Finally, Dr. Allen cleared his throat and said, “You came here today, hoping to impress us with an original. What made you think that anything your young brain could produce would impress us? You realize thousands and thousands of people would die to even get the opportunity to stand where you are standing now, and you are coming to us with an original.”
I stood, shocked for a moment as I heard titters and snickers from a few of the people watching. I looked at Will and Jace and I saw they each had a look of encouragement in their eyes. Finally, I cleared my throat, it was hard to talk past the nerves in my throat, but I didn’t get this far in my life by laying down and letting others quench my fire from within. I wasn’t going to start now. “Thank you for your time and I apologize if you feel I am wasting your time or committed some grievous mistake by coming before you with the intentions of playing something I created. However, I feel like music always has and always will be an expression of our souls. I could have come here and played Beethoven, Bruckner, Strauss, Handel, or any other one of the great composers known to us, but their music is their souls. Anything they composed that we perform, is just an impression of their emotions. This is not theirs. This is mine.”
I thought I saw an expression of respect in Dr. Allan’s eyes for a brief second.
Another one of the board members cleared their throat, “The stage is yours, Ms. Thomas.”
I nodded to them and walked to the piano. Their doubt in me was the fuel I needed to perform my piece flawlessly. I put my sheet music on the stand but knew I wouldn’t need it. This was my story, and I know my story by heart.
The moment my fingers hit the keys I was transported to that place only music could take me. I let the board see who I was. What my story was. The carefree, the happy, the loneliness, the fear, the hope, the guilt, the pain, the anger, the anticipation; all the myriad of emotions I had been through. My mind may be young, but I had lived a life most adults never experienced or could even comprehend. They could judge me on my age, but my experience was undeniable.
When I was done, I took a deep breath and looked over at them. I could have sworn I saw tears in the eyes of one of the board members. I stood and gave them a bow. Eight minutes and four seconds.
Eight minutes and four seconds would determine the rest of my life.
I still had about forty-five minutes before my next class and Will had to get back to work, but Jace pulled me to the side as we got to the bottom of the steps and asked me if I wanted to get a pastry or muffin with coffee at the college’s quad before my next class.
I agreed, I still felt tense and wound up. I had been the only one brave enough or stupid enough to come with my own composition. I would say six of the twenty-six, including myself, were the obvious people to cut, the other twenty had been remarkable. Even if they had been interpreting another person’s soul.
“You did splendid,” Jace said as we sat down with our coffees and banana nut muffins.
I took a piece of my muffin and put it in my mouth. “I’m happy that I didn’t make any mistakes, but maybe I was too bold and brazen when I confronted the board. I feel like conformity is key there. I am a square peg and I’m not sure I can fit in their round holes.”
