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He looked uncomfortable for a moment as he shifted his knees back and forth into his chest.
“Spit it out,” I said finally.
“So, you’ve been intimate with more than one guy…in what period of time?” he stammered finally.
I blushed, and I knew I had to be beet red. “It’s not what you think, honestly. It’s not like I hopped from one bed to another, each night. And honestly,” I whispered, embarrassed. “I have only had sex with one of them. He was my first…ever.”
He rubbed the back of his head and then started chuckling suddenly. “You’re living most men’s dreams, except reversed. I know plenty of men that would love to have a harem of girls waiting for them to grace them with his presence.”
I mocked growled at him before I launched myself at him, hitting him with my fist, but not with full force. “I told you it’s not like that.” I said through gritted teeth, jokingly.
“Everything okay here?” a familiar voice asked with some concern.
I froze and slowly turned. I would know his soft, melodious tone anywhere. Drake. My sweet, sensitive, shy guy, who had a lying, cheating girlfriend that Ella predicted he would marry…after she told him she was pregnant, but the baby wasn’t his. I closed my eyes and groaned, knowing who the baby’s father was.
Chapter 5
“Is he one of them?” Gavin asked quietly as we made our way to our next class.
We were early, but I couldn’t sit there any longer. I had to get up and move. I was so distraught.
I nodded sadly. “Yes, did you see how he acted like he didn’t know me?” Then I laughed at myself harshly. “Of course he didn’t, because the last time I knew him was weeks from now. Collin was saying something about a block on me. I don’t know what a block is. The last time we met, Drake said he could physically see that we were connected. Kind of like how you can see these…auras. Did he not see it this time? Why not? Then I’ve tried to reach out to Jaxson, but nothing.”
I knew I was rambling and not making any sense. I sighed. “Sometimes I think this is all just a dream or they were a dream. Yet, I know that Drake is extremely smart, but shy. That he has loved Rose. He loves to cook and should get a James Beard award, but for some unknown reason he’s still pursuing a career in child phycology. He won the junior Olympics in swimming. If that’s all public knowledge, then how about the fact that he has a weird eclectic taste of music that he listens to when he studies. Sometimes I wished my memories had been taken too,” I said wiping my fingers under my eyes, so my tears didn’t ruin my makeup.
He reached and squeezed my shoulders. “You don’t mean that. If they would have done that, then you may have switched to the other side. They wanted to isolate you, make you dependent on Collin. In a new school. No friends. No work. It’s a classic case of them trying to control you. It’s almost like Stockholm syndrome. You will be so conditioned, eventually you’ll blindly follow along with almost anything they suggest, because you’ll grow affectionate to Collin.”
I stopped abruptly and turned to him. “Gavin, you’re brilliant! Of course that’s exactly what they wanted to do to me. That’s why they took music away from me too!”
He grinned back at me and sniffed with mock conceitedness. “I know I am.” Then he said slowly, “Music, huh? You play an instrument? I’m partial to the guitar, myself.”
I grinned at him conspiratorially. “Follow me,” I started to jog off towards the music building.
He easily fell into step with me. Which wasn’t hard to do. I was short and so out of shape. “Where are we going?”
I smiled mysteriously up at him, “You’ll see.”
I knew exactly which room I was headed towards. It was almost lunch time. The faculty would be on the opposite side of the building. The students that normally took their breaks at this time left their instruments there. No one would dare steal another person’s instrument. I only had plans of borrowing it.
“Umm, I heard this building was strictly off limits to non-students and faculty. The only time outsiders are allowed in are when they have their performances.” Gavin said hesitantly.
I shrugged and gave him a challenging look. “Where’s your sense of adventure? And technically, I was already accepted once.”
“Before though,” Gavin said in hushed tones as we entered the building.
I went down the first hall on the right and followed it all the way to the end. I opened the door to the large auditorium of sorts. It wasn’t nearly as big as the performance auditorium, but it was still impressive in size. Just as I suspected, the previous students had left their instruments behind.
I found a violin in its case and then walked to the piano. I no longer had stage fright. Being in the band had given me a confidence I never thought I could ever have performing. I still had nerves and butterflies, but I embraced them now instead of letting them control me. I decided to play a song that the band and I had just started working on collaboratively. I started the introduction with the violin. Then I placed it back in its case. I switched over to the piano and sang the lyrics to the rest of the song. In the original we had an acoustic guitar, violin, and bass join in by the chorus.
I looked over at Gavin when I was done, and he grinned. “That was amazing. You have a great voice and you’re quite adept on those instruments. Are those the only two instruments you play.”
I smiled even though this made me depressed too. “I know the guitar too. Want to hear my piece that got me in here the first time?”
“Yeah,” he said enthusiastically.
I grinned and took a deep breath. This one was so much more personal to me—it was my heart’s song, Rumination. The definition meant a deep or considered thought about something. It also was a problem in anxiety and depression. Some people dwelled on an issue and continued to let it plague them. It caused them to have anxiety and then they would slip into depression. I could have let life take me down the dark path of depression, but with the help of the guys and clinging to the little good I had experienced before them, I had risen above that dark spiraling tunnel.
When I was done, I turned to see the look of deep thought on Gavin’s face and then froze when I noticed Dr. Allen in the doorway, and he didn’t look happy.
