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I suffered from debilitating nightmares some nights. Especially in times of high stress. My life was filled with stress lately. I couldn’t remember the last time I had a good night’s sleep. In the past, Jaxson had always been there for me. He had always known when they came, because our mental connection had been strong. Since I woke up in the ‘past,’ the connection had been severed and that only added additional stress to my life.
My nightmares were generally the same. I had been abused, and when I was awake I was capable at handling the demons that wanted to suck the joy from my life. At night, I was unable to stop them from coming when they wanted to intrude into my dreams. They were the soul sucking kind that wouldn’t just release me immediately. They infiltrated my brain to the point I would be frozen for moments, unable to move, forced to feel and see the horror repeat in my life. Oftentimes I would wake with a scream and tears on my face.
Today was no different. I woke with a scream and was momentarily still locked in my nightmare. I still saw the hands that pinned me down and as I fought to push them away; I realized my mistake, too late, as I watched the blood gush out of my hand to soak into the white sheets beneath me.
I looked up in shock as Will and Gavin came running into the room. I blinked in confusion as I realized my surroundings. I was in a stark white room, in a hospital bed. The ‘hands’ I thought had been pinning me down was, in fact, a needle and its tubing from an IV drip. I blinked again as I looked up at the machine it was attached to. I could see the sun out of the single window in the room. I struggled to sit up.
“What’s wrong?” Gavin asked in concern as he rushed to my side. He tried to staunch the bleeding on my hand, as he gently pushed me back down in the bed. He reached over, and I could hear the whirl of the bed as the bed mechanism adjusted to a sitting position.
Will turned immediately when he saw the mess I had made of my hand, and I could hear him calling to someone in the distance.
I blushed and ducked my head. “Just a nightmare,” I mumbled, embarrassed.
“Hey, honey,” a distinct voice sounded in my head. “Where have you been?”
I stiffened for a moment before a small smile curved my lips. “Right here, I’ve been right here.” I answered back.
It took me a moment to realize that I had also spoken the words aloud.
Gavin looked at me in confusion. “Um yeah,” Gavin cleared his throat his eyebrows furrowed. “We brought you to the campus hospital.” Gavin pushed my hair off my face. “You gave us a scare. You were running over a 104 temp. They,” he cleared his throat clearly struggling for his next words. “say you only weigh 93 pounds, you were severely dehydrated, and they think you may have an eating disorder.”
I barked out a laugh in surprise, but then I frowned as I looked down at myself. I couldn’t believe I was under 100 pounds. I knew I had lost a lot of my appetite and I had been pushing myself physically. I ran every day and lifted three times a week. I knew my pants had become loose on me and my shirts weren’t as form fitting. I shifted so that my sheet was covering my lower half and I could lift my gown. I looked down at my now prominent ribs and concaved stomach.
I grimaced. “I eat, I just work out…a lot,” I looked up at him, hoping he believed me.
“I know that,” he quickly reassured me. “I see you eat, just sparingly and you run like three miles a day.”
“Five,” I muttered in embarrassment. “I guess I may have been over-doing it. What’s wrong with me, other than being underweight and having a fever?” I reached up with one of my hands to touch my warm skin. It was still warm, just not burning as it had been.
“You might have caught a virus, and in your weakened state, your body was unable to fight it,” Will said brusquely as he re-entered the room.
I blushed once more as I realized Noah was steps behind him and I still had my stomach and ribs on display.
I quickly pushed my hospital gown back down. “I don’t have an eating disorder,” I quickly blurted out. “I may have been going overboard with my work outs lately, but I eat. I’m comfortable in my skin.”
Noah came to my side, although I noticed he seemed slightly aloof. He picked up my hand, and I tried to grab his attention to no avail. I looked up in confusion, only to see Stacey leaning in the doorway, her eyes narrowed on me.
“Why were you screaming?” Will asked as he looked at Noah, then Stacey, then me. It was clear his eyes were assessing.
I looked over at Gavin and he shook his head. I knew he was trying to tell me he hadn’t told him anything yet.
I smiled up at him in relief as I felt the warmth in my hand. I could feel the pain recede in my hand—the wound had closed itself. “I have, nightmares,” I explained quietly.
“How often?” Will asked immediately.
I could see Stacey’s avid interest as she leaned into the room. Her eyes watchful and calculating.
“Not very,” I said off handedly as I looked over at Noah once more.
Our eyes met, and I saw the concern in his eyes. I sighed as I leaned back. He wasn’t trying to push me away. He was keeping me at arm’s length due to Stacey’s presence. I could only assume he didn’t want her to realize that he had already moved on.
“Is she okay to talk, now?” Will asked Noah with determination.
He looked between his adopted father and me, his brows knit. “She really needs her rest, but it’s entirely up to her,” he said hesitantly.
“The mental health therapist is on her way in,” Stacey said almost smugly. At my confused look, she gave me an exasperated look. “Anytime we feel a patient is a danger to themselves, we are required to call the proper authorities. You suffer from an eating disorder; your scream was loud enough to hear down at the nurse’s station, and it’s clear from the scarring on your body that you may have had a cutting issue at one time.”
I looked over at Gavin in shock.
