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Now that I have his undivided attention, I falter.
“Your silence has never been so honest, Novalee.”
I need to tell him everything that happened—on the island and in the dungeon—but the thought of spilling the details shoots bile into my throat. I’m trying to verbalize the trauma of the past few weeks when two masquerade guests pass us by.
Our gazes lower to the floor, and we shuffle away from each other until the couple disappears around the corner.
“Spill it,” he demands.
“I-I don’t know where to start.”
Sebastian shakes his head, his dress shoes threatening to go into retreat-mode, and I fear he’s going to bolt until he pulls me into a conference room. The door closes, warding us off from prying eyes, and the space is dark, intimate…private. As the shadow of his anger looms, he backs me into the door, caging me in, his chest heaving against the tips of my needy breasts.
Other than that slight contact, he doesn’t touch me. His quick and shallow breaths do, the heat of his body, the woodsy scent coming off his skin. God, he smells like the only place on earth where I belong.
“I want the truth, princess.” He dips his head, blue gaze shrouded in the darkened room, but I feel that heated stare teasing my lace-covered nipples. “No matter how much it hurts to hear it.”
“On the island…Liam…it took him weeks, but he wore me down, and…I am so sorry you saw what you did that morning.”
Sebastian jerks away as if my confession gave him a physical blow. “I know you care about him.”
Three rapid blinks send the tears down my cheeks. “I was weak, and I despise myself for it, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
Taking in a shaky breath, he pulls a hand through his hair. “So he didn’t force you?” His strangled tone jump-starts my heart, and I hold on to his tense shoulders, hanging on for dear life.
“No. He stopped after I couldn’t give him what he wanted. Even though we were alone on that island, my feelings for you stood between us, Sebastian. They always have.”
He backs me into the door again, a dangerous exhale hitting my lips as our chests mash together. “But you let him touch you.” It’s not a question but a confirmation—as if he needs to hear it again before he’ll believe I betrayed him.
“Yes.”
“You wanted him to touch you.”
I nod, unable to voice the affirmation, and an immeasurable beat passes before he prods me further.
“If he didn’t force you, then why did you look so destroyed when I brought up anal?”
I flinch, and the truth almost seals my airway.
He caresses my cheek. “I don’t need to see your expression to know you’ve got that same destroyed look on your face right now.”
“I don’t know how to tell you this.”
“You can talk to me.”
“It was Pax.” The monster’s name catches in my throat. “He forced us into it after the summons.”
Sebastian goes stock still, and that’s my breaking point. A sob breaks free, unchecked emotion dripping down my cheeks.
“And it was…awful. So bad that I wished Liam had taken what he wanted on the island.” Just as my knees weaken, Sebastian grabs me around the waist, keeping me steady on my feet. It’s not forgiveness, but that single gesture from him is all I need right now.
Because his touch, the warmth of his body, the weight of his silent support—it’s a culmination of reassurance that grounds me. Once the words pour out, I can’t stop them, and in between gut-wrenching sobs, I tell him about Pax’s evil cock device and what he threatened to do with it.
“Liam didn’t want to go through with it—not like that—but the alternative was...” I shudder. “There was no alternative. Pax would have scarred me for life.”
In more ways than one.
“Baby—” Sebastian chokes out the endearment in a strangled whisper as his chest trembles against mine. “I’m such an ass.”
