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“Blue—”
“I think we’ve said all there is to say at this point. Take care of yourself, Meadow,” I respond. This time it’s me closing the door—me, walking away.
She’s never going to be mine.
Chapter 1
Meadow
Nine Years Later
Ida Sue and Jansen’s wedding
* * *
I throw the birdseed at the bride and groom, a smile pasted on my face. I really need out of here. It’s been an hour since I caught the bouquet and Blue began casting me hateful looks that seemed to burn my heart. An hour in which the slight tension headache I had blossomed into a full-blown migraine.
I need out of here… now.
I don’t know why, after all this time, that Blue hates me. I had hoped the longer I was in Mason, the more civil we could become to one another. I think that’s just wishful thinking at this point. I need to start pulling away from the Lucas family, but that’s not easy. Ida Sue is like my second mother, and I know she loves me as much as I love her. The whole family is good to me. It’s just…
Blue hates me.
I’ve been back in town almost two years now and there’s no way around it. I’ve always known, of course. He’s made no secret of it over the years. It’s one of the reasons I dreaded moving back to Mason. Although my mother needed me, I knew I would run into him. I somehow thought he would have let go of his anger by now, but it’s clear he never will.
Before moving back home, the last time I was with Blue wasn’t long after Adam was born. I had to take my baby to the doctor because he had a high fever and an ear infection. I knew the tires on my car were worn out, but it’s all I had to drive. Blue gave me hell over that the minute he came by and found me stranded beside the road. I didn’t want him to help me, but there wasn’t much choice. Then, what happened afterwards with his crazy girlfriend….
I sigh. I need to forget the past. I can’t change any of it, and remembering it just awakens regrets—regrets that I can’t have.
Regrets I have no right feeling.
It’s done. It’s over.
I turn to look at Petal, the smile still pasted on my face.
“Are you sure it’s okay that Adam spends the night with River?”
“Are you kidding, Meddie? It’d take a crowbar to tear those two apart right now,” she laughs. I love Petal. She’s younger than I am, but we were really good friends growing up.
I look over at Adam and River who are playing baseball with the other kids, but Petal is right. It’s those two who are side by side laughing, and it makes me smile. Adam hasn’t had an easy life and to see how happy he is since we’ve moved to Mason means the world to me.
“I’ll make my way over and say goodbye to him. I’ll pick him up early in the morning,” I assure her.
“Nah, wait until the afternoon. They’ll stay up all night and laze around tomorrow. In fact, Luka and I can bring him home. I know Saturdays are your busy day at the shelter.”
“You’re sure?”
“Absolutely.”
“Then, you should let River stay at my house next weekend.”
“Really?”
“Definitely, Adam would love it. To be honest, it’d be good to hear them laughing in the house.”
“If you’re sure, I’ll take you up on it. Heck, I might even get Mom to watch Rain and have a date night with my hubby,” she laughs.
“In that case, I’m definitely serious,” I tell her with a grin.
We talk a little more and then, I make my excuses to leave. I’m worn out and tomorrow is my busy day. I have to clean all of the pens and cages. Petal wasn’t wrong about that. As I walk over to my son, he looks up at me with a smile.
“Hey, Mom! Allen is teaching us how to hit a curveball! His daddy showed him how! He’s like famous! He played for that team we saw on TV!!! Ain’t that great?” he asks excitedly.
“It is. I’m going to head home. Petal said you could stay with River tonight.”
“She did? Yay!” he cries excitedly. It makes me happy, but there’s a small part of me that wishes my baby still preferred to be with me.
“You call me tonight and mind Luka and Petal, okay?”
“Yep! I will! I promise!”
“Good. Have fun tonight, kiddo,” I tell him, grabbing a quick hug. He doesn’t like to do that often around his buddies, but it’s something I can’t give up just yet.
“I will! Bye, Mom!”
“Bye,” I respond, waving. I’m happy he’s enjoying being here in Mason, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit it makes me sad. For so long, it has been just me and Adam. Seeing him spread his wings and enjoying being away from me makes me melancholy.
