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We finish our lunch with Blue’s mom joining us. The entire time Blue is either holding my hand or pulling my hand onto his leg and holding it there. When I don’t let him have his way, he puts his hand on my leg—which is worse.
I manage to eat some, but I leave torn between being turned on and pissed off—and wearing wet panties.
Chapter 28
Blue
I look at the field in front of me with a sigh, turning on my disc mower and begin what will end up being a long, hot day. Normally, I don’t mind cutting hay. Hell, I don’t even mind baling it, although it can be a bitch to put it in all the places that I need to store it. I cheat and keep quite a bit out on the field wrapped up. That’s the great thing about the round bales. The small square ones need to be stored in the hay loft or other shelter. I love working in the fields, whether it’s plowing crops, or baling hay—I’m not choosey. Hell, I even like riding the fences. My brothers never wanted this life, but it’s all I’ve ever wanted for as long as I can remember. Nothing ever felt better than riding my horse out on the trails and letting them run with the wind blowing around me, taking in the scenery and the scents of home.
Nothing ever came close.
Now, it’s not the same. Now, there’s Meadow and I want her. I want time with her. I want to come home and find her in my house. I want the sound of her and Adam laughing. She’s avoided me for the last four days. I know she got spooked when Lyla showed up. I swear when it comes to Meadow, there’s so much past history that sometimes it feels like we’re trying to navigate through landmines. I know I’m going to have to figure out some way to reach her. I’m trying to do as Mom suggested and be gentle and go slow with Meadow.
But it’s not working.
If anything, she seems to be drifting further away from me.
Something is going to have to change. I turn up the air in my cab. I can admit it. I might like being a cowboy, but I like my comforts. This damn tractor cost me a fucking mint. I laugh at myself because it was worth every dime.
As if to remind me that I paid more for extra comforts, my cell rings over the Bluetooth connection with the tractor. I smile when I see Meadow’s number pop up on the screen.
Maybe she’s missing me as much as I’m missing her.
“Hey, baby,” I answer after pushing the accept button.
“Bl-Blue?”
“Adam? Is that you? Are you okay, buddy?”
“Blue, I wasn’t sure I’d remember the number. I tried three times.”
“What’s going on?” I ask, worried. I still hear the edge of panic in his voice.
“It’s Mom. She’s been sick all day. She told me she was going to take a nap because Mamaw went to bingo with your mom.”
“Adam, let me talk to Meadow.”
“She’s sleeping, Blue. She’s been sleeping all day. I’m scared.”
“Fuck, okay, I’ll be right there. Don’t move, Adam. I’m coming, buddy. I’m coming.”
I click the red phone symbol on the screen and grab my phone. I shut off my tractor and sprint across the field. I think about calling 9-1-1, but I can be there quicker and maybe she is just sleeping. Kids can overreact, right? Hell, I have no idea. I’ve never had kids. I can only go by what River, Terry, and the others do.
Fuck, baby, hold on…
I make it to Meadow’s but if you asked me, I couldn’t tell you how. I don’t remember the drive. It’s all a blur. I just know that I got here in record time. I go to the door and don’t bother knocking. It’s not locked, and I’ll need to talk to Adam about that, but not now. Right now, I’m nothing but thankful.
“Blue! I’m sorry! Mom woke up now—”
“Where is she, buddy?”
“She’s in her room. She’s okay though she said.”
“Lock the front door and I’ll be in in a minute, okay?”
“Okay, Blue,” Adam says, just as I make it to Meadow’s door.
“Adam said he called you. I’m sorry. You were supposed to work in the field today, too,” she says as soon as I walk into her room. She’s lying in her bed, curled under the cover, and she looks so small and helpless it hurts. I walk over to her bed and crouch down in front of her.
“It doesn’t matter, Doe. I just need to know you’re okay.”
“I’m just really nauseous today. I thought I’d take a nap, but I didn’t mean to nap so long. I’m sorry I worried you and Adam,” she murmurs.
I use my hand to brush hair from her face, thankful that she at least doesn’t feel warm. I let my thumb drag along her jawline, taking her in. Her eyes are still cloudy, and the dark circles under her eyes worry me. Her hair is mussed against the pillow and she’s beautiful, but you can tell she feels rough.
