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“I’m going to win you back. You’ll see,” he says and then hops in his truck.
I stand and watch until his truck is out of sight before I open the door. The place is dark except for one, lone light. I take off my jacket and my shoes. Then, I quietly walk down the hall and stop first at Adam’s room. He’s sound asleep. Allen isn’t here, and being older than Adam, I figure he wanted to sleep alone in a guest room. Next, I go to Mom’s room and quietly turn the knob so I can check on her. I wince as it makes a creaking noise. It seems unnaturally loud. Mom’s snug in bed, sound asleep. I smile as I look at her. I remember back when I got word of her heart attack. I was scared to death I was going to lose her. She means the world to me. She’s my superhero.
“Meddie? You okay, dear?”
“Yeah, just getting home,” I whisper.
“I was hoping you would spend the night with Blue.”
“Mom,” I gasp.
“What? You’re pregnant and you have Adam. It’s not like I can tell you to preserve your virtue for a wedding ring.”
“Mom,” I laugh.
“Come here, Meddie,” she murmurs, patting the bed beside her.
I carefully close the door and walk in. I sit beside her, taking her hand in mine.
“What’s on your mind?”
“You’re in love with Blue, but you won’t allow yourself to love him.”
“That makes no sense, Mom,” I mutter, reaching out to fix her oxygen around her ear.
“You’re scared.”
“I guess I am. My heart has a lot of scars when it comes to Blue, Mom. It’s not like you can blame me.”
“Sweetheart, I know they say caution is the better part of valor—”
“I think that’s discretion,” I correct.
“Same thing, really. My point is, sometimes doing what might appear dangerous holds the biggest rewards.”
“It also hurts the most and it’s not just me at risk now. I have Adam and this child to consider,” I answer, rubbing my stomach.
“You know as well as I do that no matter what happens Blue would never let anything hurt those babies. He is not Clark, sweetheart.”
“No, but he could hurt me much worse than Clark ever did.”
“He could,” she murmurs.
“Yeah,” I breathe.
“There’s one thing I want you to think about, Meddie.”
“What’s that?”
“Blue might be a great risk. You’ve seen how his nephews adore him and how much love he has for his family.”
“Mom—”
“I think the woman who gets Blue’s love will be the luckiest woman on earth. I don’t think you want to pass that up, baby. I didn’t raise a fool.”
“I’ve had experience with men who hide who they are to get what they want, Mom.”
“You think Blue is hiding who he is?” she asks, confused.
“He’s not the same. He’s made a one-eighty on me, and I don’t trust it. Plus…”
“Plus,” she prompts once I go silent.
“It sounds really stupid,” I whisper, holding my head down.
“I doubt that. Tell me, Meddie. Maybe it will help you sort out all that jumbling you got up in that pretty head of yours.”
“I miss Blue. The one I’ve always known. This version he shows me is not the real Blue. This Blue is…nice. He asks for things instead of just taking them. I…”
“Blue’s an old soul in a lot of ways. He grew up under Jansen’s wing and he’s very similar—cowboy hat and all.”
“But where’s the real Blue? How am I supposed to trust a version of him I don’t even know?”
“Maybe he’s both, baby. You’ll never know if you don’t try.”
“Try?” I laugh. “Mom, he’s not a car I can take for a test drive.”
“I know dear. He’s a cowboy. You have to climb on and give him a ride.”
I blink.
Go climb on Blue and ride him? Is this my mother or a devil on my shoulder trying to tempt me?
Chapter 34
Meadow
As we make it to Ida Sue’s, I feel a little overwhelmed. I mean, I love Blue’s family—I always have. Still, with everything my mom said to me last night still running through my head, my nerves are on edge. That silly song about saving a horse and riding a cowboy is running through my head even now, and I’m sure that doesn’t help matters.
I feel like I’m in a trance that hits about the time I take in all the cars in the driveway. It should be said that all of Ida Sue’s family being home kind of feels like the crowd on opening day of baseball season.
“I wonder what your mom’s news is,” Adam says from beside me.
I made Mom get in the front seat beside Blue—even though she protested. It’s too hard for her to get in and out otherwise. For the first time, I realize my son is probably just as nervous as I am. The Lucas family can be a little intimidating when they’re altogether. I reach over and squeeze his hand, and he gives me a big smile.
