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But I was still uncertain. “I’m supposed to babysit Sarah every Friday,” I said with a wince.
When Ethan’s shoulders fell and a crushed look crossed his face, I felt evil. I didn’t mean to, but I quickly added, “How about Saturday?”
He instantly brightened. “Saturday would be great. Pick you up at seven?”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
My stomach churned through the rest of the week. I think it was filled with a nice, acidic regret. And maybe some guilt too, though that one made less sense. I wasn’t attached to anyone; I shouldn’t have felt any qualms about telling Ethan I’d go out with him. But I did.
I never should’ve said yes. I wasn’t really in the dating mood; well, not in the mood to date anyone but one person. And that one person wasn’t Ethan Riker.
But that one person was utterly forbidden and I should move on. I mean, if his visit Saturday
night to tell me about his escapades with married woman and detail his stupid plan—that totally didn’t involve me—hadn’t convinced me he was forbidden, then Wednesday night certainly did.
I arrived for my babysitting duties to find he had already left for work—typical—but an envelope full of money had been stuck to the refrigerator with a magnet. My name and the words babysitting $ had been scribbled on the front in his heavy scrawl. Somehow he’d known exactly how much Dawn owed me.
It hit me then. Like really, Reese, wake up and smell the lattes hit me.
His sense of responsibility toward his family was everything to him. Everything. He didn’t care if his obligations made him do things that caused him to feel trapped or had him feeling dirty until he hated a part of himself. He wasn’t going to stop taking care of Dawn and Sarah in the only way he knew how. He had sold his soul to ensure every bill his mother forgot to pay was taken care of, even the fricking babysitter’s bill.
A part of me hated him for that, since I was the one who got shafted because of his unwavering, altruistic commitment. But another part of me admired and respected him for his love and sacrifice for his mother and sister. He did it because he cared so much for them, and I adored the way he loved those closest to him. It made me ache to become a member of that exclusive circle.
I almost ignored the money. Its origins made me sick. Plus he needed it for important things, certainly not some of the trivial things I’d used it for, like those cute earrings I’d ordered online that totally matched my nose ring. And I didn’t care if no one ever paid me another cent for spending time with Sarah. But I took it anyway, because I knew it would make Mason feel even cheaper and dirtier if I didn’t.
I’d donate it to some charity, or maybe to the baby fund I had a bad feeling Eva was going to need.
And I told myself that I would only be friends with Mason from here on out. No more flirty texts, no more forbidden thoughts—okay, that one was impossible to do, but I would at least try—and sadly, no more lunches together. He didn’t need me attempting to tempt him away from his goals of supporting his family.
I was set on this plan until Mason actually appeared by my table during my lunch break on Friday and plopped his bag onto the bench across from me.
“Hey.” He paused to draw in a deep breath before adding, “Sweet Pea,” with a large, knowing smile.
Damn. My plans to stay away and respect his decisions fizzled completely.
But I couldn’t help it. I was beginning to have withdrawals. After getting to see so much of him this past weekend—literally and figuratively, wink, wink—no Mason in five days just felt…wrong. Besides, he had come to me. So even as I told myself to shoo him along, my pulse raced with joy as he seated himself.
Feigning a heart attack, I slapped my hand over my chest and gasped. “What is this? You’re sitting with me…in public? Have the horny guy urges subsided then? Have I lost my seductive appeal completely? Say it ain’t so.”
He chuckled and rolled his eyes. “No. They have not subsided. I’ve simply come to the conclusion we’re going to have to accept that the urges will probably be a permanent facet of our relationship from here on out. And if you say you can control yours, then I’ll try to control mine.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Big of you.”
A full, throaty laugh rumbled from his chest. “That and I can’t see your nose wrinkling from all the way across the courtyard. You have no idea how much I’ve missed that.”
His cute and playful side got to me like nothing else. Needing to control my own urges, I sighed and went back to my homework I’d been trying to work on before he’d appeared. “Yeah, yeah. I bet you’re just falling behind in calculus and need my help.”
Without denying it, he gave a shrug. “Since you mentioned it…” He pulled his calculus book from his messenger bag and flipped it open to the page where his homework sat, half finished. As he searched for a pencil, he asked, “What’re you feeding me today?”
His smile was so fresh and alive, it sparked a piece of life back into me, something that had wilted in the past few days without a good dose of him around.
I still couldn’t believe Mason was here, across the table from me, being my friend again. Without saying one sarcastic comment, I slid what was left of my mini bag of potato chips across the table to him, since I had finished all I was going to eat, and I probably would’ve offered him one of my most cherished lattes at this point because I was so thrilled he was here.
He nodded in approval and snagged my chip bag. “Nacho cheese. Nice.” As he pulled out a handful, he glanced at me. “Turn in your English paper yet?”
I lifted my eyebrows. “Oh, so you care about my English paper today, huh?”
His shoulders slumped. “Reese. Come on. I’m sorry I said that to you at the party. I was in a mood.” He set his hand over his heart and sent me a pout of sincere apology. “I care about everything you do.”
