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"Just . . . " He focused his attention on straightening non-existent wrinkles on his shirt. "Names."
I wasn't deterred. "Of important people?"
" Mm-hmm."
"Is this in any way related to the reason why my birthday is the passcode to your cell phone? Because, you know, you refused to talk about that too."
He lifted his face to frown at me. But he said absolutely nothing.
"Fine." I flung out a hand. "Go ahead and shut me out. Again." I lifted my chin in an airy, pretentious way. "It's fine. I mean, I thought we were becoming friends and talked about everything. But don't worry. I get it. You know the worst possible thing there is to know about me, but I don't need to know anything about you at all."
His shoulders deflated and his expression turned bleak. "Don't be that way, Tink. I—"
"I'm kidding!" I broke in with a roll of my eyes and forced laugh.
Okay, fine. It did twinge a little that he didn't feel comfortable enough to share something with me, but seriously—
"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. I understand. I really do. And I'm sorry for teasing you about it. I didn't mean to make you take me so seriously."
He drew out what I hoped was a relieved breath, but something on his face told me he wasn't quite reassured. I opened my mouth to go on and keep apologizing for making him feel guilty when a rustling from the crib caught our attention.
Pick was quick to check it out. "I'll get him," he offered, only to stop short when he looked down at the baby inside. He hesitantly drew Skylar from the bed and turned to me. When his gaze dropped and fixated on the lump where Julian was still having his breakfast, I knew I'd been caught.
"Eva . . . " he said slowly. "Are you . . . feeding Julian?"
"Um . . . " The guilt on my face totally gave me away.
His eyes shot open wide. "Holy shit."
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I immediately pulled Julian away from my chest and covered myself. "I was half asleep and just so used to taking care of Skylar this way. I didn't realize what I was doing until he was already latched on . . . " I faltered when Pick's eyes widened at that description. "But he took to it so naturally and seemed happy, I didn't want to disturb him."
He seemed kind of fussy now, though, since I'd interrupted him mid-meal. But I swung him over my shoulder and began to pat his back quickly and nervously. My gaze sought Pick, trying to gauge his reaction, but he looked more surprised than anything.
"Oh, God. You think I'm gross and disgusting, don't you?"
"I think . . . " He shook his head as if he had no idea what he thought. Then he uttered, "I think you're feeding my kid from your . . . your . . . "
"It's supposed to be much more nutritious this way." I motioned vaguely at my boobs. "This milk is packed with disease-fighting . . . stuff, you know, to help protect him. I read all about. He'd get a much healthier, safer diet from me. Besides, Skylar never eats enough. I usually have to pump out the extra to keep my boobs from hurting. And why the heck are you looking at me like that?"
He grinned, and I knew everything would be okay. "Sorry, I just . . . " He shook his head. "This has to be the hottest conversation I've ever had with you. Please . . . continue talking about your breasts."
"Oh my God." I rolled my eyes toward the ceiling. "Pick, this is serious. Do you have a problem with what I did, or not?"
He jiggled Skylar in his arms, swaying her back and forth to keep her happy. "Why would I have a problem with it? You just listed a million reasons why it's better for him."
"Because . . . I don't know. He's not mine. Surely someone would have a problem with it . . . for some reason."
"Well, they're not here in this room, so fuck them."
"But . . . " I closed my eyes and held Julian just a little bit tighter. "What if . . . what if attachment issues come from this . . . or something?" Like they already had.
Pick sat on the edge of the mattress next to my hip. "Tink, you are the best thing that's ever happened to that kid. I don't care if he only has one day left with you or twenty, you just keep doing whatever you're doing until you have to go, and I will forever worship the ground you walk on. Because a little slice of heaven is better than none at all. I will gladly deal with attachment issues if they crop up. Got it?"
A smile lit my face. "Got it."
But, wow, this man was too good to be true. He always knew the exact right thing to say to make me feel better. Was it any wonder I'd been able to sleep next to him all night without a single qualm?
I'd never been able to fall asleep next to any guy; too many lingering childhood traumas prevented it. But there had been no reservations about urging Pick to crawl into bed with me. Sure, I could argue that I'd been half-asleep and too tired to care. But honestly, I just felt that completely and utterly safe with him. I felt protected, and I knew if he ever touched me, it'd be because I wanted it, and I he'd make sure I enjoyed it.
