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“It’d already happened by the time I found out,” Hamilton told me. “What would telling you have accomplished?”
Was he freaking serious? “It would’ve kept me from doing it again, maybe.”
“Are you sure?” He lifted an eyebrow. “You know now, and it’s...not going to keep you from going back for more, now is it?”
“Shut up.” I scowled at both him and his woman. “It’s too late now. We’ve already...” Shit, I didn’t know what we’d already done. But there was no way we could just...stop it just because it was wrong to keep it from Gamble. That point had passed too many kisses and orgasms ago. We were already set and aimed straight toward our collision course with fate.
“Do you remember when Noel thought I was doing something with Caroline and he went for my throat?” Ham asked out of the blue, his voice soft and almost apologetic.
I snorted. “How could I forget?” It had proved to me that Gam would never think I was good enough for her if he didn’t even think my flawless roommate was worthy of her.
“Yeah, well, when he apologized to me for overreacting, he said it wasn’t because he thought I wasn’t good enough for her but because he thought I was sneaking around with her. He said someone else had done that to her, had treated her like she wasn’t the type to date openly, and Noel thought she deserved better than that. He was mad because he thought I’d been keeping her a secret.”
Ouch.
Shame bore down on me with a vengeance. My roommate was standing there telling me I was no better than that fucker from Caroline’s hometown who’d used her and left her pregnant and alone, and I had to agree with him.
“Well, she does deserve better than becoming someone’s secret,” I said, my voice all raspy with regret. But sh
it. I hissed, “Why didn’t you tell me about this conversation before?”
“Would it have made a difference?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe.” But it was too fucking late now. He’d already think I’d been sneaking her around if I told him now, because I’d already been fucking sneaking her around.
Damn...it.
I wiped my quivering hands over my face. “Doesn’t matter. Like I said, it’s too late. Thanks so much for your fucking help.”
I strode away from them in a bundle of broiling nerves. It was then I fully realized just how badly this was going to end. And I started to panic.
I know what you’re thinking. Why didn’t I just cut ties with her then if I was so worried about Gamble? Well, why don’t you ask a smoker why they don’t just stop smoking, an alcoholic why they don’t just stop drinking, a book lover why they don’t just stop reading? And fuck you for thinking an addiction was even remotely easy to quit. I was addicted to this girl. I wasn’t anywhere near ready to give her up.
And thus started the true turmoil.
So, stabbing my best friend in the back sucked ass, but finally having Caroline after months of wanting her…that was fucking heaven.
On day six of our week-long agreement, she rested her cheek against my shoulder, pressed her damp breasts to my side and started drawing patterns on my chest before saying, “So tomorrow’s our last night together, huh?”
My brow furrowed. Not even wanting to think about it, I took her hand and concentrated on weaving our fingers together. “No,” I said slowly. “I think your math’s off. We’ve still got, like, four or five more days left.”
“Yeah,” she finally murmured. “Yeah, I think you’re right.”
And that was that.
The next day, our one-week time limit came. The day after that, it passed. I kept picking my midnight visitor up at the curb a block from her house damn near every night and then dropping her back off hours later. And I kept doing naughty, unspeakable things to her. And yeah, I loved every second of it. But then, so did she.
So, not on day eight—hell, not even on day twelve—did either of us mention the fact that we’d gone over our affair’s deadline. I’m pretty sure neither of us cared that we totally broke the rules. In those first few weeks, nothing mattered but the next time I could be inside her. Not even the fact that I was completely betraying my best friend on earth.
I still hated it when she brought up his name though, especially when we were wrapped up together and relaxed into a near coma after a really vigorous round of sex.
“Is it immature to hide this from Noel?” she asked, her cheek resting on my arm and her perfect ass tucked in my lap as my arms remained banded around her.
A tick formed in my jaw, but she didn’t see it, so I shrugged. “We’re still young. Aren’t we allowed some immaturity?”
She sighed. I hated that sigh because it told me keeping this from him bothered her as much as it bothered me. “I know you hate lying to him, but I...I want to wait to tell him, if that’s okay with you. This is just...”
“None of his damn business.” I growled, irritated because he was even an issue.
