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I’d done the ultimate. I’d slept with him on top of all the rest of my deception.
I was like the worst of the worst now.
Still...I couldn’t regret it a full hundred percent because, well, damn...last night might’ve been the best night of my life.
Glancing back at him one last time, I crept out of his bed before I hunted up my purse, called my roommate and whisper-hissed-demanded she come pick me up this very instant.
Twenty minutes later, wearing my heels and dress from the night before, I stood outside Asher’s apartment, hugging my purse to my stomach as Jodi’s car pulled into the alley. I barely gave her time to stop next to me before I was pulling open the passenger side door and muttering, “Go!”
The bitch wouldn’t stop grinning at me as she put the car into drive. “Well, he must’ve been good if the rat’s nest in your hair says anything about it.”
“Fuck you,” I muttered, immediately brushing out my hair with my fingers. “This is all your fault. I did not want to sleep with him, Jodi. Jesus, what were you and Caroline thinking? You orchestrated this whole thing, didn’t you?”
“Oh, calm down, will you, puta. We merely arranged a happy coincidental meeting between the two of you. We didn’t put his penis in your pussy. That was all you.”
“Jesus, God,” I sobbed, tears instantly pouring down my cheeks. “I slept with him. I can’t believe I slept with him.”
“Really, sweetie.” Jodi sighed. “It’s not that big of a deal. It was just sex.”
To her, the joining of two bodies was just sex, yes. But to me...it meant something. I couldn’t program my body and heart and head into thinking it was just a good time. And besides, nothing that had happened the night before could ever be classified as just sex. So I wailed, “No, it wasn’t. I’ve just compounded my betrayal to him by double. Fuck, triple. He’ll never forgive me for this when he finds out. He’s going to hate me.”
“You never know,” Jodi argued. “Just how good was it last night?”
“The best ever,” I muttered miserably, wiping at my running mascara with a tissue I found in my purse.
“Well, then maybe it’ll be easier for him to get over the lie...if he wants more from you.” When she winked, I only groaned.
“No. He’ll hate me. It was that good, Jodi. I freaking fell in love with him. I mean, I honest to God love everything about Asher Hart. He’s the best man, best lover, best friend I ever had.”
I vaguely realized I’d just said he was a better friend to me than she was, but not even Jodi took umbrage with the slight. Suddenly, not so cavalier to my misery, she gulped and said, “Oh. Well...that may change things.”
“You think?” I sobbed. “What am I supposed to do now?”
But not even Jodi had any sage advice for me.
By two that afternoon, I’d calmed myself so that I didn’t burst into tears at the drop of a hat, but it took a lot of coaxing from Jodi to get me to go to band practice.
“Why are you so adamant I go?” I whined. “You never wanted me to stay in the band in the first place.”
“Well, you didn’t listen, so now you’re a full-fledged member and it’s your duty. Besides, Asher would wonder why you didn’t show up, and if he puts too many one plus ones together, he might figure out the truth. You want him to find out this way?”
“No.” I totally didn’t. So I got my ass in gear and showed up to practice. I was the second-to-last to arrive—only Asher was later than I was, which was unheard of all by itself.
But then he acted all lethargic and tired, yawning and repeatedly drawing in a deep breath to waken himself. He was always a bundle of activity, even needing to drum his fingers whenever he had to sit still. Seeing him like this was just—
And that’s when I realized what “the tell” was that Ten had been talking about. Sex made him sluggish and tired.
I grew warm realizing this was all because of me. But then I scolded myself for even thinking about last night.
Asher wasn’t just listless though. He was also worried...about Sticks. He wouldn’t make eye contact with me throughout practice and when he needed to say something to his drummer, he usually just said it in my direction, not directly to me.
Realizing he felt guilty about breaking his promise to boy-me, I closed my eyes and shook my head. I hated doing this to him.
As soon as practice was over, I loitered, knowing I needed to do something. Confess, or...no sé. Just make things right.
Heath and Gally took off, and Asher sent me a wary glance. I pretended to tinker with things on the drum set before giving up and directly asking, “Everything okay?”
He jumped and set his fist against his mouth before whirling to me. “Huh?”
