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I glanced at her, suddenly at a loss for words. I’d come here to get her back, but then...all this had happened, so I ended up sighing and running my hands through my hair. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.”
Hugging herself, she nodded. “So you already said.”
“My head’s still all over the place this morning,” I tried to explain because it didn’t look like she was going to forgive me for assuming such a thing about her and our two bandmates. “I forgot to take anything for my hangover and I was preoccupied, trying to decide what to say to you. When he opened the door...I don’t know. I just...I completely lost the ability to think rationally.”
I’d gone into caveman mode, ready to fight for my woman.
But Remy still wouldn’t look at me.
I ground my teeth. “Damn it. I’m not used to this. Women who actually know me don’t just go telling me they love me.”
Finally, she looked up, her brown eyes wide with surprise.
After a deep breath, I added, “It didn’t seem real. It was easier to believe you didn’t mean it, that you’d already moved on. Thinking you and they had...it was just an instant, knee-jerk reaction that was really stupid and—”
She reached out and set her fingers over my mouth, hushing me. When I drew in a breath, she murmured, “It’s okay.”
When she lowered her hand, I sucked my bottom lip in between my teeth, trying to taste her touch.
God, I was lost for this woman.
Not sure what to say next, I blurted, “Did you know your roommate was...with both of them?”
Remy shuddered. “Unfortunately, yes.” Then she spotted her drink she’d sat down on the newel post at the top of the stairwell. Snatching it up, she took a quick sip and then eyed me warily. “Did you really just fight with them to keep me in the band?”
I suddenly wasn’t sure what to do with my hands, so I shoved them into my pockets.
“Well...” I heaved up one shoulder self-consciously. “It’s what you wanted most in the world, isn’t it?”
When she didn’t answer, I looked up into her face. Her eyes looked a little watery and uncertain, so I took a step closer and whispered her name.
“Damn it,” she muttered, squeezing her eyes closed. “Yes, it used to be what I wanted most in the world.”
My lips quirked up with satisfaction. “Used to be?” I asked.
When she bit her lip and nodded, I moved in even closer. Her breathing picked up, and my body stirred with need. “So what do you want the most now?” I asked.
Her lashes fluttered open and her chest heaved.
“Just say it,” I encouraged softly.
But she shook her head. “I...I can’t. I fucked everything up.”
My chest swelled. “You sure about that?”
Tears filled her eyes. She whispered my name and reached for my chest, only to draw her hand back to herself after she’d barely touched me.
Now it was my turn to shake my head. “Because as much as I tried to regret everything and stay mad at you, I can’t.”
She hiccupped and then quickly pressed her fingers to her lips, her wide eyes watching me as if unable to believe what she was hearing.
So I kept talking. “I think I wanted to hate you because I felt so stupid. I should’ve—I just...I should’ve been able to figure it out.”
“No.” Swishing her head back and forth, she clutched my arm. “I deceived you at every turn, lied and tricked you so you couldn’t realize the truth. You didn’t do anything wrong. It was all me. I—”
I set my fingers over her lips to hush her. “And yet it never seemed to matter if you were Sticks or Elisa, boy or girl, I still always wanted to be around you. I...” With a small, self-deprecating laugh, I looked up at the ceiling and said, “Do you know why I was able to take you home barely ten minutes after our first kiss without a single qualm of doubt, after I’d gone on and on to you more than once about wanting to get to know a woman first and actually start a relationship with her?”
Shame filled Remy’s eyes. “Yes. Because it’d been too long since you—”
