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I sank back against the counter and slunk in reverse until my back hit the wall, all the while holding my breath in terror as Colton glanced at me with apology.
“I saw,” he choked out, his face filling with grief. “I saw what she did, and I...I’m sorry. I didn’t help you. I was scared. I was so scared I ran back to bed and hid under the covers. And I’ve felt like shit all these years because I...I couldn’t help you.”
Back to whisper-gasping, I demanded, “Wha-wha...what the fuck are you talking about?”
He couldn’t have seen. No way. Nothing could be more horrifyingly worse than learning he’d seen.
But he yelled, “I saw it, okay. I saw what she did.”
“What the fuck did she do?” Caroline shrieked. “Colton, dammit, you’re scaring the crap out of me.”
Colton tore his agony-filled gaze away from me before he turned to Caroline and then Noel. After drawing in a breath, he said, “It was just before you came and took us away, Noel. A couple weeks, a month maybe. I was sick, Caroline was out with that guy...Sander.”
“Fucker,” Ten muttered under his breath.
“Brandt wouldn’t sleep with me because I was so sick, so he stayed somewhere else, I don’t know where. I thought he was on the couch, so when I woke up early, like so early it was still dark out, I went to get him, but he...he wasn’t on the couch. That’s when I heard voices from her room.”
“Oh...fuck,” I breathed. He had seen. Jesus fucking Christ, he’d witnessed the worst moment of my life. Squeezing my eyes shut, I covered my face with both hands, wishing this nightmare would stop.
“There was this crack of sound, like flesh on flesh. A slap, maybe. And then more talking. I thought I heard Brandt’s voice, so I stumbled that way. The door to her room was partially open. And when...when I got to the doorway, just the two of them were inside. She had him backed against the wall, and his eyes were closed. Tears...tears were streaming down his face. Jesus, she was...she was giving him—”
“Don’t!” I begged, my chest heaving with what felt like the stirrings of a panic attack. But if he told everyone, my humiliation would be complete.
He couldn’t tell them.
But Noel grabbed Colton’s arm, urgent and demanding. “She was giving him what? Drugs? Alcohol?”
“Colton,” I bit out from between clenched teeth, gritting my teeth. “For the love of God, shut the fuck up.”
“What the fuck did she give him?” Noel boomed.
Colton’s face crumbled as he met my terrified gaze. Then his eyes begged forgiveness before he turned to Noel and said, “A blow job.”
I gasped as if I’d been shot, though this had to feel a million times worse than any bullet. Betrayed, exposed, humiliated...my vision grayed at the corners and my ears screamed with shock.
I barely heard Caroline shriek, “She did what?” right before Ten breathed, “Holy...fuck.”
“Oh my God,” Aspen whimpered before she burst into tears and buried her face into Beau’s neck, seeking comfort from her two-year-old.
Stunned silent, Noel could only turn his attention to me and stare.
Gripping my mouth with one hand, I glanced at Colton. He seared me with apologetic eyes, but I didn’t care. Dropping my hand, I hissed, “I hate you so fucking much right now.”
Noel choked out a sound. “So, it’s true? This is fucking true? How can this be true? She never did anything remotely like that to me?”
“Christ, Noel,” Caroline muttered. “You make it sound like you’re jealous Mom molested him and not you.”
“I’m not jealous!” he thundered, “I’m...Jesus.” He wiped his mouth, looking frantic as he searched Caroline’s and then Colton’s faces. “Did she touch anyone else? Did she do this to either of you?”
After both Caroline and Colton shook their heads, Noel spun back to me. “Why the fuck did you never say anything? When...how often...oh, God. How many times?”
“Once,” I gasped out, my lungs struggling for air as my breathing turned choppy and all wrong. “Just that once.”
“Hey, lay off him.” Caroline thrust her daughter into Ten’s arms before she shouldered past Noel to step right into my face. “Can’t you see he’s upset? Bubba, you’re hyperventilating. You need to breathe.”
“I can’t...I can’t...”
“Shh.” She reached for my face, but I flinched, unable to handle human contact. For some reason, I just knew it would burn. Even her merely looking at me with those sympathetic eyes scorched me from the inside out.
