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It’s fine? It’s fine? It was never fine when someone said it was fine!
Or was that just for women? Maybe guys really thought it was fine when they said that, but it didn’t feel as if anything was fine.
Scowling, I started to type again, determined to make him understand he didn’t need to be jealous. But when I realized what I was doing, I grew a little upset.
I didn’t need to explain myself. I hadn’t done anything wrong. And Colton had said it was fine, so…why was I still worried?
I put my phone away and started toward my next class.
The next morning, Colton didn’t text me with a countdown of how many hours it was until our next encounter. And then he didn’t show up at all to philosophy. My worry grew, yet I was too scared to message him and ask if everything was okay. When I got nothing from him on Thursday morning either, I decided it was over. He was done with me and moving on.
To add to my misery, cramps began to assail me along with that icky bloated feeling of an approaching nasty period before that started a few hours later.
JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 24
I was curled up on my couch on Thursday evening, home alone because my roommates were once again away with their boyfriends, and unable to do much past hold a warm cup of hot tea between my hands and stare at the clock ticking at a sloth’s pace over the quiet television when a knock came at my door.
My pulse raced. Was it Colton? I hadn’t been sure if he’d show up. We’d made plans for tonight and he’d never canceled, but we hadn’t talked since Tuesday either. And after he’d strode off in his jealous huff, I had no idea where that left us, if his fine was really fine or not.
If only I weren’t so freaking stubborn and hard-headed, I could’ve pushed until everything felt fine to me, and then I’d know exactly what was going on in his head right now. I wouldn’t be so self-conscious and confused and scared that I’d just ruined everything between us.
God, these stupid period hormones were making me batty.
Hey, yeah, this could all be my hormones’ fault.
A little mollified that I had a scapegoat to blame instead of my own stupid self, I set my tea on the coffee table and wrapped the blanket draped over my shoulders more snuggly around me. Then I shuffled my Angry Birds slippers to the door. I didn’t check the peephole because I didn’t want to be disappointed.
So I opened the door blind, only for instant relief to pour through me when I revealed a grinning Colton on the other side, resting his hands on either side of the doorframe as if he were happy and eager to see me in return.
Except the smile died instantly when he took in my blanket, slippers, pajama pants, and even the head scarf I’d already wound around my hair for the night. “What’s wrong? Are you sick?”
He started to step forward, concern etched in his features. But I held up a hand, stopping him in his tracks. “I didn’t think you were coming by tonight.”
Freezing, he arched a confused eyebrow before slowly saying, “But you said Thursday…right?”
I nodded, only to add, “And then you didn’t text yesterday or the day before that, and you weren’t in philosophy class yesterday.”
His mouth fell open as that oh-so-male shit, I fucked up expression crossed his face.
“My nephew, Beau, was sick yesterday,” he started. “Noel had important stuff going on at the high school where he works, so I skipped class to stay home with the kiddo. And he was really whiny and clingy and shit. I was busy running ragged trying to keep him happy so it didn’t upset Aspen all day yesterday and most of today. I just…it’s been a fucking blur. I totally forgot about our countdown texts. I’m sorry.”
Feeling instantly shitty because that was not the reason I thought he’d been avoiding me at all, I waved a hand, immediately forgiving him. “It’s fine. Don’t apologize. It’s not like the text messages were mandatory or anything.”
“But I like them too,” he argued, trying to step forward once more.
Huffing out a breath, I held up my hand, barring his way. “Look, it’s not going to happen tonight.”
When his mouth fell open and worry filled his eyes, I blurted, “It’s that time of the month, okay? This...” I circled my hand over my lap area. “Is closed for business until further notice.”
Then I slammed the door in his face and promptly burst into tears.
I’d really wanted to see him tonight too. I’d wanted to cuddle with him and rest my head on his shoulder while the pain pills did their thing and he rocked me to sleep. I wanted my man.
But we were only supposed to be about sex.
I hated myself even more because the last time we’d talked he’d had to watch me have a moment with Brandt, and now I was turning him down. What if he decided there was too much drama and messiness here and dropped me because of that?
I slumped back to the couch where I cried for a good ten minutes longer.
