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“Hey, responsibility is a good thing,” I argued, frowning over how little he seemed to think of his own qualities.
He snorted. “Then why did Sonya lash that very word at me when she left me, like it was awful, right along with telling me I was a robot with no passion?”
“She said what?” I growled. “God, what a bitch. Of course she spewed something she thought would hurt you. You’d just caught her cheating. Caught people always try to turn it around and pin you with something wrong so they don’t look so bad. But she has no clue. She doesn’t know you at all if she said you lack passion. Clearly, she was never around you whenever a season finale for The Walking Dead aired.”
JB sent me an unimpressed glance. I cracked a grin and bumped my shoulder into his, still trying to lighten the mood. Then I sighed, falling serious again. “I’m telling you, she wasn’t one of us. That was her real problem. And if that was really why she left you, then it was her loss—Hey! Wait a second.” Shaking my head as something occurred to me, I frowned at him. “Backup a tick. I just realized you said she dumped you.”
He sighed and glanced up at the sky miserably. “Yeah, pretty pathetic, huh?”
“But she’s the one who cheated,” I said, not getting it.
“I know. And stupid, idiot me, I forgave her for it. I was willing to give her a second chance, except that didn’t work for her. She thought I should’ve been more upset and held a grudge longer or something before I took her back. She said my lack of outrage showed that I just didn’t love her enough because I didn’t seem to care who she slept with.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I exploded. “That’s why she dumped you? What a crazy whack job.”
He shrugged and glanced down at where my hand was covering his. I squeezed his fingers. He squeezed back, lacing his through mine. A heavy ache filled my chest.
Frowning at the misery in his expression, I bumped my shoulder into his again. “Hey, you didn’t actually…I mean, you didn’t take her words to heart, did you?”
Glancing up, he smiled sadly. “She did have a point. Besides, it’s kind of hard not to believe someone you were planning to marry when they tell you you have no soul.”
“Yes it is,” I growled, “because she obviously has no brain. You are an amazing man, JB Hamilton. And you should believe me more than her, because I’ve known you longer. She’s the one who lost out when she walked away.”
“This coming from the girl who wanted my brother. Not me.”
“JB,” I said softly, squeezing his fingers when he tried to pull his hand away. “Don’t do that. Please. I didn’t even know you were interested.”
“I wasn’t.” Cracking off a bitter laugh, he tipped his head back to consider the stars above us. “Shit, I’m not. I don’t think.” Then he shook his head as if he were confused. “That’s the crazy part. I never thought of you that way before tonight. I mean, I always thought you were gorgeous. But—”
“You did?” I bit my lip, strangely pleased.
He frowned at me. “But I always thought of you as family. I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember. It’s familiar and comfortable, and I just naturally assumed it’d feel like I was kissing my sister if we ever…you know.” He waved a hand. Then he sniffed bitterly and shook his head. “Guess I learned how wrong I was about that tonight, because I don’t think I’ll ever look at you in a brotherly way again.”
“That’s why I wanted to try my experiment,” I said softly. “I wanted to actually know what it’d be like, not just assume.”
“But you wanted to know what Luke would be like,” he muttered, pulling away to fist his hand and press it against his forehead. “I felt like such a fool when I tumbled right into your experiment and got turned on, only to realize you’d been seducing him all along, not me.”
“JB,” I rasped, aching inside as I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him hard and wanting to apologize but suspecting he wouldn’t appreciate that. “I only chose Luke because he seemed…easy. There’s nothing easy about you. You’re so intense, and complicated, and…and…”
“Boring?” he guessed with a moody sniff. “Responsible? Always striving to do the right thing?”
“Intimidating,” I growled, starting to grow pissed off with all the negativity he kept heaping on himself. Because nothing about Jameson Blakeland Hamilton was negative. The man was fucking perfect, which was, yes, intimidating.
But his eyebrows crinkled with utter confusion. “Intimidating?” he repeated incredulously, obviously not seeing himself that way.
“Fuck, yes, intimidating,” I insisted, nodding vigorously. “There is so much about you that just…overwhelms me. You’re way too smart, way too gorgeous, way too…too good. You are my rock. I could trust you with any secret I ever had, rely on you to help me through any problem. And I know without a doubt you would fucking die for me if it came to that. There is absolutely nothing you’re bad at. And it’s… It’s frankly intimidating as hell. I’m such a mess. I lose my temper too easily and make stupid, impulsive decisions. I could never in a million years keep up with someone as steady, and dependable, and amazing as you. So yes, sue me. I went for Luke instead.”
His mouth fell open as he gaped at me. “T,” he said softly, his fingers covering mine again. “But I’m not—dammit, you know I’m not perfect. God, you probably know my flaws better than anyone else.”
I rolled my eyes. “Oh, you mean those interesting little quirks about you that drive me crazy? Yeah, those are my favorite parts, actually; they’re what make you you.”
“Fucking hell, Teagan,” he whispered, looking dazed. “What’re you saying here?”
I tried to pull my hand away, except he wouldn’t let me go. Gulping down my emotions, I frowned at him and admitted, “I’ve always been in awe of you. In my eyes, you are so far above everyone I’ve ever known.” Huffing out a self-deprecating laugh when tears
filled my eyes, I shook my head. “Why do you think I’ve always been so quick to argue with you and call you a dumbass?”
He shook his head slowly, his eyes wide with shock. “I just realized I have no clue,” he admitted.
