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Disappointment filled me. I have no idea why I’d been thinking she was going to kiss me. I was an idiot, I guess.
Her smile was so big and tense, I knew I should say something, but… Nothing came to mind. My thoughts raced. I should thank her; it was the most suitable reply. But I wanted to reassure her most of all that she had nothing to apologize for.
Damn, life was so much easier when people just told you what to do and
say. Except that was the very life I wanted to break away from. So I should be able to handle this.
Which I totally didn’t do.
Unease filled the cracks of tension in the smile she flashed me. “Okay, then,” she said with forced cheer, before clearing her throat and taking a step back. “Have a good day.”
With that, she turned away and left.
And I had said absolutely nothing the entire time she’d stood there.
My heart began to pound with these big, walloping thumps, as if trying to beat me up from the inside for my lame, awkward reaction. Not being prepared for her abrupt appearance was no excuse. I was a dumbass, plain and simple. I was tempted to stand up and race after her, apologize, or…I don’t know. Do something to feel better about how I hadn’t even spoken.
But seriously, she’d be better off if I stayed out of her life. I’d already put a target on her back. Except, dammit, she’d made my sister happy. The very least I could do was thank her for that.
Then again, I was a little too tuned in to everything she did. It could grow into an unhealthy obsession if I didn’t watch myself. And this was so not the time for me to spend my energy thinking about a girl that was so obviously off-limits.
I glanced after her, watching her become smaller as she moved farther away, and some strange knot of tension loosened inside me, even as other things perked up, growing a little too excited for my comfort.
It was the strangest experience. How could one person relax you even as they made you tenser?
Yeah, I should probably just stay away from that. I was grateful for everything she’d done for Sarah, but honestly, the best thing I could do for her was back off.
Yet even as I made my decision, I glanced down at her apology gift.
As unnecessary as it was, it was still sweet of her. Curiosity got the best of me; I picked up the cup, studying the logo on the side. I’d never ordered anything there, unable to convince the cheapskate side of myself that spending that much for a simple drink was worth it.
I took my first, hesitant sip, only to rear back when I burned my tongue.
Shit.
Hot.
But, hmm, not bad.
Prepared for the heat this time, but unable to stay away because it was all just too tempting, I drank again.
It reminded me of her: sweet and bold, yet innocent with a hint of sass. An exciting yet soothing flavor.
I finished it before I meant to, kind of wishing I’d drawn out the experience a little longer to truly savor each swallow. But I wanted to see what was in the bag before my first class started. So I opened it and pulled out the pastry that Reese had called a bear claw. The smell got to me, reminding me I’d skipped breakfast, so I bit in enthusiastically and even moaned at the flavor.
I looked down at the book that was still open in my lap and realized it was probably time for me to get to class. After I gathered my things and stood, I glanced toward the nearest trash can to toss the empty cup and bag, only to notice the side of the cup read Reese written sloppily in black marker on the side.
For some reason, that clued me into the fact that she hadn’t been carrying two cups when she’d given me her apology. And if she’d ordered two drinks, would they write her name on both? I had no idea; I’d never bought anything there before. But it all made me wonder… Why would she go to the coffee shop and get me something, yet nothing for herself? Unless she’d gotten it for herself and only planned on giving it to me at the last moment in a split-second decision when she saw me sitting here.
Don’t ask why my mind went there. It made no difference either way and yet… It kind of did. A pre-planned purchase would mean it had been bothering her all night. But a spur-of-the-moment, hey-there-he-is, I-should-give-him-something kind of situation would put me a little more at ease, and I don’t think I could then feel so bad for my crappy response to it.
In any case, it was a sweet gesture, and I couldn’t stop thinking about the girl behind it throughout my morning classes. She seemed like the simple, open, cheerfully bright sort, and yet that made her so puzzling to me. Did women like that really exist? Or was I just so jaded by my latest encounters with them to know any better?
By the time lunch rolled around, the bear claw had worn off. I headed to the cafeteria, but as I approached from a side hall, Reese strolled out, not far behind a group of other girls, though it was obvious she wasn’t with them. Carrying a salad and drink with her book bag strapped over her back, she hurried ahead to catch the door to outside with her hip as it began to fall closed from the other departing ladies.
Wedging her way out with both hands full, she kept walking with a confidently perky stride, her silky straight hair swishing from one side to the other over the lump of her backpack.
Through the windows, I watched her sit, and though she was alone, she didn’t look lonely. She just looked so perfectly content to be exactly where she was and doing exactly what she was doing that it drew me in like a moth to a flame.
