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That would be my luck. I’d been falling for this girl—falling hard and fast—and she just liked my smile or some shit.
But she looked sad when she confessed, “You know it’s not.”
God. Oh, God.
Hearing that was as relieving as it was painful.
“Then why the hell are you so confused about why I’m flying off the handle?” I had to know.
“I don’t know.” She winced. “Because it’s easier to play dumb.”
“Well, you’re not dumb. Don’t play dumb.” Realizing I was only making things worse instead of better, I shoved my calculus book back into my bag to leave.
But that only seemed to panic her. “Mason? What’re you doing? Where are you going?”
“I’m leaving.” Like I should’ve done five minutes ago, as soon as I’d realized she was dating other people. “What does it look like I’m doing?”
I shoved things so haphazardly into my bag that a paper fluttered free and started to blow off across the surface of the table between us. Reese smacked her hand down on top of it, saving it, only to hold it ransom when I went to reach for it.
I sent her an impatient glance, to which she glared right back at me, refusing to give me the page back.
“So if you can’t have me, then I’m not allowed to date anyone? Is that what you’re saying? My God, Mason. Do you realize how much of a douchebag you sound like right now?”
“Yes, damn it!” I exploded. I knew just how wrong I was about everything.
The admission threw her off-balance, and she didn’t have a ready answer.
“I realize exactly what I sound like,” I said. “And I’m trying to stop, Reese. I’m trying here. Jesus, why do you think I’m taking off right now? If I stay, I’m only going to say something worse.”
One of the tears that had been swimming in her eyes finally fell.
It broke me.
“Christ, don’t cry.”
“What do you want me to do?” she sobbed, wiping the tear away. “Do you want me to call it off? Tell him no?”
Surprised I had that kind of power over her, I glanced away, shame covering me like a rash. I didn’t want to ruin her big date. Riker had asked her out before last night; he probably hadn’t even known she and I were friends until today… Even though he hadn’t seemed very surprised or even upset that I’d been sitting at the same table with her, talking to her. So, he had to have known.
Still…
I didn’t want to ruin anything for Reese until I gathered all the facts. Even if the idea of her with anyone else killed me, I would step back and not interfere. Much.
So I shook my head and said, “No. Don’t call it off. I want you to be happy. I’m sorry for being a drama queen. Okay? I want you to have fun with…whomever. Just have fun and be happy. Keep being you.”
That only made her cry more.
I was bombing this. I was bombing it so hard. Needing to flee before I started crying right along with her, I snatched my homework from her hand. “I have to go.” Wiping at my own eyes, I hurried off, running blind.
Reese wanted to date. I could deal with that. She was one of my favorite people on the planet. I wanted her to be happy. I did.
It was just…
I was a selfish bastard.
I wanted her to be happy with me. Not with the moron Riker.
Even though he wasn’t a gigolo and didn’t have a bad reputation.
