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Telling them my suspicions about Lana and the secret investigation I was conducting on her hadn’t seemed necessary at the time. But now that it was all out in the open, I felt like a shithead for not divulging any of it sooner.
Sitting on my couch in the darkness of my living room, I rested my elbows on my knees and buried my face in my hands. I’d fucked up, hadn’t I? Not only had I gotten my own mother tossed in jail, but I’d shut out my siblings from something they probably should’ve been privy to the entire time.
Brick had shaken his head and sent me such a disappointed glance before he’d strode away from me without saying a word. What if he never talked to me again?
Could I really blame him if he didn’t?
I was a monster.
I wasn’t even sure how to face Gabby after this, and she’d known my plans all along. I just couldn’t deal with the crushing weight of all this guilt.
So, when she called, asking if I needed anything, I asked her if she could check in on Kaitlynn, which would ensure that she’d stay away from me in the process.
Jesus, I was going to have to help her find a job somewhere now. She was unemployed because of me.
This was all just too much. How was I going to deal with—
My doorbell rang. I shuddered with dread before sitting upright and wiping a hand across my dry face to regain my composure.
I couldn’t face Brick right now; I’d have to answer his questions and I knew I’d end up telling him everything. I wasn’t ready for that. So I hoped to God it wasn’t Brick.
The doorbell rang again.
The same with Kaitlynn. If she came knocking, she’d be full of questions too, namely: why. Why was the last thing I wanted to discuss. I hoped it wasn’t Kaitlynn either.
The doorbell rang, followed by a knock.
Honestly, there was only one person I wanted to see.
The knock turned into a pound.
But how could I look her in the eyes right now? She’d see everything inside me. She’d know how ugly I truly was.
“Hey!” a familiar voice shouted through the closed portal. “Carmicheal.” The pound turned more insistent. “You better not be trying to shut me out, you bastard. Because it won’t work.”
An affectionate smile lit my face. Despite my reluctance to face anyone, all I could think was, Thank God it’s Gabby.
I stood and went to the door. “So shutting you out would be bad?” I asked as I pulled it open.
She narrowed her eyes. “Only if you value your balls.” Then she walked past me into my apartment, tossed her purse into a side chair, and shucked her jacket, completely making herself at home.
“I went to Kaitlynn’s like you asked,” she started, dr
aping her jacket over another chair and toeing off her shoes. “I even snagged a friend to go with me—to help console her, you know—but then Ezra showed up.” She turned to me, rolling her eyes. “And it was pretty obvious he was the only one she wanted. So, I thought, you know what, screw it. I’m going to do what I wanted to do from the beginning. Thus, voilà, here I am, checking on you.”
When I didn’t answer, just soaked in the blessed sight of her, she sighed out a frustrated groan and stepped toward me, wrapping me in a tight hug. “Hey,” she whispered as she rested her cheek against my heartbeat. “How’re you doing?”
“Dammit,” I growled, hugging her back and relishing the feel of her in my arms. “You’re going to make me face this head-on, aren’t you?”
“Hell yes, I am.” To my disappointment, she pulled away in order to look up into my eyes, severing our warm, soothing contact. “Now, start facing it, buddy, and tell me how you’re doing?”
I nodded to show her I was fine. “I’m—” Except my voice broke when I tried to speak. So I cleared my throat, wiped the back of my hand across my mouth and started over. “I’m—you know. I—” It wasn’t just my voice this time, my freaking eyes broke next, leaking moisture and all my decorum. “Jesus,” I swore, trying to turn away.
But Gabby caught my arms, forcing me to look at her, which caused me to choke out a strangled sob.
“I did it,” I rasped, crumbling apart inside. “I really fucking did it.”
“Yes.” Nodding steadily, she agreed. “You did do it. You did the right thing.”
