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Her mouth fell open. “Did you…did you say pockets, plural, as in both are full?”
He opened his mouth, the expression on his face revealing a man who felt caught, as if anything he said would be wrong. “I…I’m sorry. I—”
She cut him off, curious. “Well, let’s count them.” Her lips quirked with amusement. “I want to know how many you have on you.”
He hesitated, confused. “Jo Ellen—”
She snapped her fingers. “Don’t you dare chicken out on me. Now fess up, Gerhardt. Empty your pockets.”
Clearing his throat, he dutifully drug everything out —even a small ball of lint. Jo Ellen tortured him even more by counting aloud when each new package appeared. And as the number grew higher, her voice grew raspier.
“Seven,” she hoarsely proclaimed when the last envelope plopped onto the hayloft floor between them. She drew her gaze away from them to send a curious glance at their owner.
He looked too guilty to meet her stare. For some reason, it emboldened her.
“My goodness. Were you planning on using all of these tonight?”
He sniffed out an amused snuffle and finally lifted his gaze. “Of course not. I just…” With a hefty gulp, he glanced away. “I’m sorry.” His quiet, humble apology echoed through the loft.
She wrinkled her brow. “Why are you sorry? I’m actually…flattered.”
His gaze veered back to her, his lashes flaring apart. “You are?”
She blushed. “Of course. It’s undeniable proof of how much you really wanted to be with me.” More than once.
His eyebrows crinkled. “Hell yes, I wanted to be with you. How could
you doubt that?”
She could doubt it because it seemed too good to be true. But it was true. And that truth made her want, want so bad she didn’t care what happened afterward. One time, she told herself, one taste of that overwhelming chemistry he stirred within her, and she knew she’d be good. Hoped so, anyway.
Suddenly, she couldn’t recall why she’d been so resistant before. All she processed was the ache in his eyes and the hoarse honesty in his voice mixed with her own rising needs.
I was crazy in love with you.
A full-body shiver consumed her. Had anyone ever been crazy in love with her before? She wanted to experience it in every way possible. She wanted someone crazy in love with her to touch her, to hold her, just for one night, even if that love had happened ten years ago.
She wanted to feel what Emma Leigh felt when she was with Bran.
“You know…” Idly picking up one of the seven foil pouches, she twirled it between her fingers, unable to believe what she was considering…what she’d already decided. “I’ve found the things I’ve regretted most in my life are the things I wanted to do but never had the courage to try. And I’m beginning to think I don’t want you to become one of my what-if-I’d-only-tried-it regrets.”
Hope filled his face. His mouth moved, and he looked about as affected as she felt. “So…?” he pressed, urging her to come right out and tell him what she wanted.
“So…” She held up the condom. “Let’s not let your trip to the house go to waste.” When she tore open the package, Cooper physically quaked. “Make love to me tonight, Cooper.” Heart lurching into her throat because she couldn’t believe she was actually doing this, Jo Ellen extended the opened foil to him. “Please.”
A huge breath shuddered from his lungs. “Are you sure? Earlier, you said—”
She didn’t want him to repeat what she’d said, otherwise she might start experiencing all those doubts again. She shook her head savagely. “Do we have to think about that right now?”
The expression on his face said, yes, they needed to consider every reservation she had. But instead of being the typical gentleman and forcing her to step back away from the heat brewing between them to think logically, he jerked his head back and forth on an uncertain shake.
“No. We don’t have to think about it right now. But you do have to be absolutely certain you want this. You’re not allowed to regret it afterward.”
“I’m absolutely certain. I want this. I want you. And I won’t regret it.”
Without questioning her again, he took the condom from her hand and set it aside so he could return to her and gather her into his arms. When he pressed his forehead to hers, simply holding her. Jo Ellen relished the sensation.
“You can back out at any time.”
