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I was a realist. Logically, I knew I had never stood a chance in hell with a guy like him. All that ‘he was my soulmate’ bullshit I’d spewed about him had been just that. Bullshit. A pipedream if you will. It’d been fun to imagine the what-if of being with him.
In real life, I didn’t even want a boyfriend really. I don’t think, anyway. And even if I did, a hot cocky cowboy like him wouldn’t even have given me the time of day. I mean, I wasn’t pretty, or tall, or slim, or smart, and I didn’t have a sparkling personality on top of that.
At best, I could hope he didn’t have very high standards and would settle for a one-night stand with me, and then I’d maybe get to try sex out once more in my life, see if it was better or still sucked as bad as the first time. But yeah, I never really honestly thought there’d ever be anything more than that between us. Not in reality. But the pipe dream had been fun. It had filled the hours and given me something to focus on.
Why the hell had he gone and opened the door to that fraternity house to ruin it all?
At first, it’d been cool. He’d called me pretty, and I’d thought holy shit, maybe he would be willing for a little hot nooky with me. Maybe he’d show me that sex wasn’t such an awful, icky sport after all.
Except it’d gone horribly, awfully wrong. Then he’d called me…well, everything he’d called me, and he’d crushed my pipedream. A year of what-ifs surrounding him, and he’d shattered them all in ten seconds flat.
Bastard.
Now I had to come up with a whole new pipedream to keep my company on lonely nights.
I was still trying to deny the fact that he’d ever made me cry in my shower as I applied a thicker layer of eyeliner to my lashes than usual. People didn’t make me cry. And I didn’t want a jerk with an even worse sister to be one of them.
Stepping back, I inspected myself in the mirror. Satisfied with the results, I tossed down the eyeliner and found my book bag and coat before hurrying from the apartment without even going near the kitchen. I was congratulating myself on escaping without talking to anyone or answering any questions when I heard a call from behind me.
Curses. I was only five feet from my car too.
Gritting my teeth and muttering under my breath, I spun around to find Tess hurrying after me. “Can I ride to class with you today?” she asked, opening the passenger’s side door before I could even answer.
I frowned. “Where’s Jonah?” She usually rode to campus with him.
She sighed. “I wanted to ride with you today.”
I let out a grumble of defeat and tossed my things into the backseat before sliding behind the wheel. She popped into the passenger seat.
“Well?” she was demanding even as I turned on the car. “You worked so late yesterday, we didn’t get a chance talk last night about what happened the night before that. Was he there? Did you talk to him?”
Oh, he’d been there all right, I wanted to answer bitterly. And unfortunately, yes, I’d talked to the bastard. But then I realized she was asking about Beckett. Not the cowboy.
“Oh. Yeah, no. He wasn’t there. I think he’s still in jail, actually.”
“What?” Her face fell. “Really? But your testimony—”
“Well, it turns out my testimony doesn’t mean shit,” I answered bitterly. “Believe it or not, some people actually think I’m the liar.”
Some people in stupid cowboy hats, wearing stupid belt buckles and stupid boots.
Tess just blinked before saying, “Why would you lie? You don’t even know Beckett Hilliard.”
I know, right!
I shrugged as I pulled onto the road and headed toward campus. “Don’t know,” I mumbled. I was tired of thinking about it. I was tired of cowboys, and non-rapists, and every fraternity ever invented. I was just…done. Done with them all.
Good night.
“Jonah still planning on going home with you for Thanksgiving?” I asked, needing a topic change more than I needed anything right then.
“Uh…” Tess blinked, not expecting that. “Yeah, of course. The
re’s nowhere else he’d go.”
I nodded. “Yeah. Makes sense.” Well, poop. That conversation didn’t last long. Now what did we talk about?
Usually, I was bursting at the seams for the chance to tell Tess something or other, and now that I had her exclusively to myself, I kind of just wanted to be alone.
