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“I mean you’re not going to do anything,” Allera reiterated unnecessarily. “She’s already married, Urban.”
I shook my head. “Yeah, but—”
Allera shook her head right back. “But nothing. She’s married. To another man. She’s about to have a child with him. Hell, this may be their fifth babe together.”
“Don’t say that.” I winced and had to glance away. “She’s mine,” I whispered. I couldn’t honestly be expected to just ignore that, could I? “I’m hers.”
“She doesn’t know that,” Allera murmured. I turned to her, and her eyes filled with sympathy. “Think about what’s best for our kingdom, Brother. You can only cause mayhem by acting on this. I guarantee you they don’t understand our marks. They could kick us out of Donnelly, sever our alliance, hell, they might even kill us.”
I almost didn’t care. The itching urge to find her this second still roared through me. Nothing mattered but being by her side, worshipping her, living my life to provide her with everything she ever needed or wanted.
But then Allera said, “This is what she would want. Think about that. Think about what’s best for her.”
An arrow of pain shot through my abdomen because I alrea
dy knew what Allera was going to add even before she said, “She doesn’t know you. She’s not marked and doesn’t feel the draw the way you do. If you go to her with this, you’ll only frighten her. You’ll upset her husband, who’d probably treat her differently afterward and thus upset their marriage. Do you want her to be unhappy because of you? She’s already established a life apart from you. Do you really want to harm that? Harm her in that way?”
I nodded. “If she’s not happy with the life she has, then yes, I do. I’ll burn down the whole fucking realm around us to make her content.”
A second later, I caught my breath and shook my head before exhaling unsteadily. “Shit, did I really just say that?” I cupped my head in my hands. “What is wrong with me?”
How could I speak this way about a complete stranger? How could I actually feel this way and want to be more loyal to her than anyone I’d ever known… Even Allera? What if she didn’t deserve it? What if I didn’t even like her?
Allera smiled and clasped my arm. “It’s okay. Everything’s intense and overwhelming when you first see your one true love. Truth be told, I was so dazzled by Jazon, I bedded him about thirty seconds after we met.”
“Good God, Allera! Stop.” Wincing, I covered my ears with my hands and glared at her. “Seriously. I could’ve gone my entire life without knowing that. No man wants to hear such things about his sister.”
Allera laughed and tugged my hands from my ears. “I’m just saying, you go a bit crazy at first sight.” Then she sent me an admiring glance. “You actually surprised me with how well you held it together. You have impressive decorum, Brother.”
It certainly didn’t feel that way. To me, I felt utterly unhinged.
“But rest assured,” she went on, bumping my arm encouragingly. “The sensations will be much easier to handle from here on out.” Then a frown marred her brow. “Or maybe it was easier for me to handle after first sight because I slept with Jazon on our first encounter. You know, sex might’ve been what dulled the mark’s tingle, not just seeing him. I’m not exactly certain. Huh. Curious, that.”
Yes, fucking curious. It was always nice to learn I may have a raging hard-on whenever I saw my one true love from here on until I bedded her, which was going to happen never. Meaning… My future looked truly miserable, filled with raging, unrequited lust.
“You are so not helping,” I muttered. “In fact, you should leave now. Your uncertainty has done nothing but—”
“No.” Her voice was firm as she narrowed her eyes. “You’re not going to seek her out.”
She’d been my sister far too long, because she was exactly right; I had planned to seek out my one true love.
I bared my teeth in a snarl. “Of course I’m going to seek her out. I have to know if she’s okay.” I had to know what she was like. Was she easy-going with a quick smile and quicker wit? Closed-off and intense? Airheaded and whiny? Pretentious and vain?
The not-knowing was driving me crazy.
But most importantly, I had to touch her. Kiss her. Get inside her. My body was still screaming at me over how imperative that was.
“You’ll frighten her if you approach her with the mood you’re in. And she’s pregnant. Urban! You don’t want her to accidentally harm her child because you scared her, now do you? What do you think that would do to her?”
I winced. Hurting her in any way would slaughter me. Almost as much as it slaughtered me to think of her carrying around someone else’s infant.
I surged up off the bed and began to pace the room once more. “You don’t understand.”
“Yes, I do understand.” Allera spread her hands. “I know how important this is to you. How important she is to you. I’ve been through this before, remember? And that is why I promise you I’ll approach her for you. I’ll find out if she’s happy with the life she has.”
I shook my head, not satisfied with that. “I want to measure her level of contentment for myself.”
“I’m aware of that, my sweet little brother. But you know as well as I do how unwise that is. You should stay away from her.”
