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“Shh,” he assured, stroking my arm. “It’s me. It’s okay. Take your time. You don’t have to rush or push—”
Except now, it felt like I did. “I’m alright now,” I told him, gripping his wrist in gratitude. “I can talk.”
I would talk.
Releasing a breath, he nodded. “Okay, then. Who did you think I was?”
“Him,” I answered, momentarily squeezing my eyes shut. “Your uncle.” And then, because saying his name felt scary, I had to add, “Everett. The last few days he had me, he started sleeping next to me, pressed against me from behind.”
Bile rose in my throat, but I swallowed it back down.
Indigo tensed. His rage and heartbreak were so palpable I could smell the steam scorching off his skin.
“Did he—?” He couldn’t finish the question, so I did.
“Rape me? No. But he did just about everything else. I think torturing me became a fetish of his, and he grew obsessed with the idea of owning and controlling me. I was too much of a filthy Graykey to actually tup, but he still looked, and fondled, and masturbated on me frequently.”
“Christ,” Indigo hissed, repeatedly wiping his face with his hands. “If he started sleeping next to you, it sounded like he was starting to change his mind about the tupping part too.”
I shrugged. “Maybe. Probably. But Qualmer showed up before it got that far.”
“And now I’m really beginning to regret killing that bastard. I should’ve thanked him instead of cutting his—”
“No.” I shook my head. “You did the right thing with Qualmer. He didn’t plan to treat me any better than Everett had. Though I am glad he got me away from the extractor.”
“The extractor?”
With a nod, I explained everything, going into detail this time, since I’d merely glossed over my experience before when I’d told him what had happened. I gave terror and hopelessness a new face with my words, letting him know exactly what had transpired. And by the time I was done talking, I was exhausted and tired, ready to sleep for a week straight. But I felt lighter.
Inside.
Indigo had been right. Voicing the darkness and horror helped relieve the pressure. It got it out of my head and made me think I might just survive this after all.
There was this raw vulnerability inside me, yes, as if I’d just shaved all the old, vile gunk off in the inner lining of my body with a sharp blade, leaving everything new and tender and exposed, but it also made me feel cleansed, as if I’d be stronger and healthier for it once I healed and adjusted to the newness of the change.
Indigo looked wrecked and haunted after hearing it, though. A layer of sweat coated his skin, his eyes looked glazed with shock and torment, and I swear his muscles were going to be stuck permanently on tense. But all he did was lie down, taking me with him and kept his arms wrapped around me as he gathered me close.
“Thank you for telling me,” he said. “I didn’t think I could love you any more than I did yesterday. But listening to your story of strength and endurance as you suffered through all that just made my awe and adoration for you double. You’re the bravest, most beautiful woman I know. Inside and out.”
I kissed his jaw and stroked his cheek. “I only made it through because of you. I kept thinking about your smile and infernal optimism and how you asked me to live, so I kept forcing the air into my lungs, and I clung to life no matter what.”
We reached the inn where the men had left Melaina by midmorning the next day. And even before we made it to the cottage she was staying in, I could hear her banshee screeching as she attacked the poor guard Indigo had left with her, trying to get past him and out the door.
“If you don’t move out of my way, you sexy young buffoon, I’m going to be forced to remove one of my favorite members of your anatomy, and trust me, neither of us wants that.”
Chuckling, I glanced over at Indigo. “I never thought I’d miss the sound of her threatening anyone. But I think I did.”
“Yeah.” He reached across the two horses we rode and took my hand, squeezing warmly. “Life wouldn’t be the same without her.”
“Melaina,” I called as soon as we reached the inn where my aunt had just bulldozed her way through the panicked and helpless guard who was trying to keep her inside. “Stop tormenting the poor soldier. He’s only trying to keep you safe.”
My aunt paused in her tracks before turning slowly my way.
I stopped my horse and dismounted, taking in her features. Her cheeks were hollowed, and deep purple bruises underlined her eyes. Indigo hadn’t been lying when he said she’d nearly killed herself worrying about me.
Pressure filled my
chest and tears of gratitude rose. I knew she couldn’t show emotion, but I’d honestly thought she’d never really cared about me. Though I never would’ve wished her to be hurt because of it, I had to admit it was nice to finally know just how important I was to her.
