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He glanced at me, and when our gazes met, all his worry and regret filled me until I shuddered out a breath and my chest heaved, unable to contain it all.
J.J. cleared his throat, breaking into our stare. “And then Zack got you both safely back here, where he called all us in, and here we are now, all up to speed.”
“Right.” When I nodded at him, he sighed and ran a hand over his dark, shaved head.
“So… Did you mess Nicholl up pretty good?” he finally asked.
Wick nodded mutely.
J.J. studied him a moment longer before answering, “Good. I guess that means we don’t have to go over there and defend your honor or anything. Which means we’re not needed here at all, are we?” After glancing between me and Wick a moment longer, he turned to the others. “Hear that, boys? Come on. We’re loading up and heading out.” He clapped his hands and even gripped Zack’s arm to tug him from his chair. “Let’s give these two some peace and quiet so they can calm down and recharge.” He glanced severely toward me. “Call if he needs anything; he’d certainly be too proud to. And make sure he washes up and sees to those cuts.”
With a nod, I promised, “I will. Thank you.”
39
Henry
Issue 7 of “Hopeless Henry”
By Alice Bennet
Taken from the University Gazette
So, I finally lost my virginity.
Near the end of sophomore year, Beth Anne, a girl from my speech class, asked me out, saying she was into the strong, silent type. I had no idea that was the impression I gave. After Reuben had stolen Avery and fucked Kerri out from under me, I’d just kind of shut down and stopped showing my emotions.
Letting them hang out there on my sleeve for the world to see hadn’t done me any good. I’d only ended up with my heart ripped to shreds.
So, no more.
As a result, I had closed up shop, stopped interacting as much with people, usually stayed quiet in a crowd unless spoken to directly, and I basically avoided women altogether.
Jacking off was so much simpler than aching and wanting something I couldn’t have, or making the attempt, only for some weaselly jackass to sleep with her first. But apparently, that made me come across as hard-to-get. It drove bolder girls crazy, and as a result, more and more of them started to talk to me.
I’m not quite sure why I let Beth Anne in and accepted her request for a date and not anyone else. Maybe something in me knew it wouldn’t last. She made it pretty plain from the beginning that I was just a conquest for her, someone to win over and then move on from after bagging. Since the idea of love and commitment set my teeth on edge, Beth Anne’s temporary, easy way felt nice. Safe.
Or maybe I let her win me over because Reuben had no idea she existed and could therefore never interfere.
In any case, we went out to dinner and a movie. Then I drove her home, where I let her have her wicked way with me in her dorm room. Afterward, I didn’t really feel all that awesome, though, and I kind of thought I should have. I mean, I was no longer a pathetic virgin. I’d had sex at last! Life should’ve been great.
But I guess no one’s first time can be all that perfect. I wished I hadn’t felt so inept and clueless the entire way through. She’d pretty much had to lead the whole time because I’d had no idea what I was doing. I think she came at the end of it, maybe, unless she faked her orgasm. I’m not really sure. And my body certainly liked what went down. It was my head that felt empty and unsatisfied, or maybe it was my heart. I’m not sure which. I just knew something in me wanted more.
When Beth Anne didn’t contact me again by the end of the next day, I figured she felt the same missing element I had. And I concluded that I just plain sucked in bed.
Then I got to wondering and worrying if maybe I was supposed to be the one who contacted her. She’d done all the chasing, which had made me assume she’d be the one to keep up communication if she still wanted to communicate. But I didn’t want to fuck anything up in case I was wrong. So I sent her a quick text, thanking her for the night before and telling her how much I’d enjoyed it. When she replied with only a kissing-heart emoji, I had no idea what to make of that or what to do about it, so I just let it go. If she wanted to see me again, I’d be okay with it. If she didn’t, I was fine with that too.
By Monday morning, I was still in a weird headspace, feeling completely altered inside, and yet a little disappointed that basically nothing had changed at all. No super enlightening meaning to life had struck me. I didn’t feel as if I was on top of the world. I was still just as pathetic as ever and just as unwilling to put myself out there as I’d been before.
I was lugging my tuba out to the practice field after classes when Rush bounded up, intercepting me with the biggest grin… The very grin I should’ve had after being with Beth Anne.
“Henry, my man,” he hollered, slugging my arm in congratulations. “I just heard.”
I glanced at him, frowning. “You heard what?”
He laughed, shaking my elbow. “Look at you, you sly dog, acting like it’s no big deal. I heard about you and Beth Anne. What do you think I’m talking about? I mean, holy shit, I can’t believe you finally did it. You got your precious little cherry popped. It’s about fucking time. I was starting to worry about you.”
“Guys do not have cherries,” I started, only to realize— “Whoa. Hey. Wait. How did you hear about me and Beth Anne?”
