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But Bella shook her head. “No, I got it.” She no longer looked full of rage or spite whenever she met the other woman’s gaze. So Yellow nodded and quietly sat down next to Gracen, who’d propped his elbows on the tabletop and clasped his hands together moodily as he frowned at me.
“You look like shit,” he finally said without a whole lot of sympathy in his tone.
I sent him a dry glance. “Thanks. I feel worse.”
With a sniff, he glanced toward his sister, who was taking four mugs down from the cupboard. Then he hitched his chin her way as he addressed me again. “You told her. In the car. Didn’t you? She’s all placid and calm now. She’s gotta know something.”
I didn’t answer, but I didn’t have to.
“Great,” he sneered, throwing his hands into the air and falling back in his seat. “That’s just fucking great. Guess that means I’m the only one here who doesn’t have a clue as to what’s going on right now. Always lovely to hear.”
He jerked forward again to rest his forearm on the table so he could impatiently tap his fingers against the wooden surface.
I ground my teeth, more annoyed by the sound than I would’ve been under any other situation.
As if sensing everyone’s growing anxiety over his nervous tapping, El silently reached out and covered Gray’s hand with her own. He looked at her, his gaze swirling with worry, then he turned his wrist over and grasped her fingers before lifting them to his mouth and kissing her knuckles.
I shifted my gaze to Bella. She watched them from across the room with a weary kind of acceptance.
“All right then,” she said, lifting the first two mugs and bringing them to the table.
As soon as she set them down in front of Gray and El, her brother reached for his and took a long drink, as if it were a shot of alcohol. The rest of us paused to watch as he drained the mug and slapped it back down on the table.
When he realized he had all our attention, he muttered, “What?”
Bella sighed and left to return with the other two mugs. El reached for some sweetener, Bella took a small sip, and I just sat there, knowing my stomach couldn’t handle anything right now.
Gray finally burst out, “Can we just get started already?”
El blushed and cleared her throat before setting the packet of sweetener down. “Sorry. Yeah, we can—”
“He raped you, didn’t he?” Gracen burst out. “He fucking raped you. The signs were there all along, glaring me right in the face, and I never freaking saw them. But how the hell did it happen twice? And why—”
“Lowe,” I growled, frowning at him. “Will you just shut up and let her talk?”
He closed his eyes and blew out a steadying breath. “Right,” he said, opening his lashes to focus on El. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I just—hell, I can’t sit down for this. I need to pace.”
After lurching to his feet, he circled the table before crossing the kitchen and returning to us. El watched him make one round before she turned her attention to Bella.
“The first night,” she started. “He texted me, asking to meet for drinks at our usual group hangout.” Her face paled as she ducked it shamefully and admitted, “I thought you both would be there. I thought you were going to throw me some support since all the other women in the group were talking smack about me for going out with Chad after Liam and I broke up.”
“I did support you over that,” Bella admitted quietly.
El sent her a grateful, watery smile. “Thank you.” Then she sighed and rolled her eyes. “I should’ve known it
was the first red flag when you weren’t there when I showed up. I even checked my text messages later the next day and saw that he had written meet us as if to include you. So I had every reason to expect you.”
Closing her eyes, she took a moment to decide what to say next. Then she opened her lashes and studied the wall as she spoke. “He was already drunk when I got there—at least, I thought he was. And he was upset, saying you had broken up with him, and he didn’t know what to do.”
She paused to glance up at Gracen who’d approached the table to grip the back of his chair as if it were Ethan’s neck he was wringing.
Her gaze slid to Bella. “Well, I thought I was the last person he should’ve called. If I had felt that I was in good standing with anyone else in the group, I would’ve called them right then to come and take care of him. And obviously, I couldn’t contact you because I thought you’d dumped him. So I—I offered to take him home because he couldn’t stay there like that in the condition he was in. He talked me into having one drink with him, and then he agreed to ride back to his place with me.”
“Motherfucker,” Gracen sneered, letting go of his grip on the chair and straightening so fast that he caused it to wobble after his absence. He ripped an aggravated hand through his hair and began pacing again.
“I don’t—I don’t remember anything else after that,” El quietly admitted to Bella. “Until the next morning when I woke up to you screaming.”
Bella didn’t say anything. She merely blew out a long breath and propped her elbows on the table to cover her mouth. I remained in the same pose I’d been in the entire time, slumped back in my chair with my hat tipped low to shadow my eyes from everyone else but still see out. With my knees spread slightly, I laced my hands together as tight as they’d go, resting them on my stomach.
