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Gnashing my teeth, I set a fist against my mouth and tried not to cry.
Next to me, Fox bumped my arm. “Hey. I got you, man,” he told me steadily.
I sent him a dazed glance, but all he did was nod as if he understood. Then he grabbed the bag of dog shit.
Creeping closer to the opening of the porch, he stayed out of sight, hidden by the railing as he opened the sack and began to move it around in front of him, bringing out the smell inside and making the entire porch reek.
Beside me, Trick began to gag again.
I grabbed his sleeve and pulled him close, rasping into his ear, “I swear to God, if you puke on me, I will hurt you.”
He nodded but still gagged.
“Oh Lord,” Bentley said suddenly, reaching the edge of the steps and pulling up short before climbing them so she could turn her face to the side. “What is that smell?”
Ridgely blew out a breath and shook his head. “I think your dog crapped on the porch.”
“We don’t have a dog,” Bentley answered, her voice strained.
“I guess we’ll just have to say goodnight down here, then,” Ridgely told her with a grin as he tugged on her hand and got her to turn toward him.
Oh Christ. He was going to go in for a kiss anyway?
What dick still tried to kiss a girl when the moment had been ruined by that kind of stink?
This wasn’t right. Bentley deserved better than that.
Incensed on her behalf, and maybe possibly panicking because I absolutely could not witness what might very well be her first kiss, I reacted on instinct, dashing to Fox and ripping the bag out of his hand.
My dad wasn’t the coach of my football team and I wasn’t the starting quarterback for nothing, you know. I had a damn fine throwing arm, thank you very much. Winding it back now, I threw the bag right at the bastard without thinking my decision through at the very moment he stepped in to make his play.
I’d warned the fucker to stay away from her. Now it was time for him to pay.
I hit my target, a perfect bullseye. The only problem I hadn’t taken into consideration was Bentley’s proximity to him and how she would get some spray back on her as well.
They both hollered in shock and disgust.
“What the hell?” Bentley cried, immediately spreading her arms and looking down at the splatters on her chest. Then she spun around, aiming a glare at the porch, determined to find out who the culprit was.
I ducked down next to Fox, who was hissing an incredulous, “Holy shit, man, are you crazy?” while Trick scurried over to hide next to us, quietly cheering, “That was so insanely awesome.”
Meanwhile, Ridgely was croaking, “Bentley. Oh God, Bentley, help me, I think I’m going to—” just before he threw up all over her.
“Oh...oh...” she gasped and started to gag too as if she was probably going to vomit along with him.
“Oh, shit,” I said, starting to stand so I could go and—I don’t know—help out or something.
But both Trick and Fox grabbed my arms, yanking me back down.
“You can’t be that stupid,” Trick warned me. “If you go out there right now, she will legit kill you.”
“Um, she’s going to kill all of us, anyway,” Fox surmised, “which means, we need to run. Right now.”
It was the only logical plan we had to extend our lifespans.
Thank God the Parkers had a full wraparound porch. The three of us scrambled toward the corner of the house so we could escape around to the opposite side.
We parted ways in the backyard, and from there, we separated so none of us could be implicated together.
