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Damn it, I w
as such an awkward moron. No wonder why all the guys constantly teased me, saying I never would’ve lost my virginity if I didn’t have such a pretty mug. I knew I had no game. It was humiliating as hell. But, the levels of ineptitude I exuded around Yellow were worse than usual.
In front of me, standing entirely too close so that I had to look down at her as she looked up at me, Yellow smiled. She smelled really good as she did it too.
“I do,” she murmured, absolutely glowing from the realization. “I intimidate you.”
My distress pleased her.
More sweat welled, trailing down my temple this time. She moved even closer. I forgot to breathe. Tucking my hands behind me to keep from reaching for her, I whispered, “Stop. Please.”
She did, only to suck in a long breath as if delighted to hold all this power over me. Then she asked, “But why? How do I—I mean, me of all people—intimidate you? I’m the least daunting person I know.”
“Yeah, right,” I huffed at the joke, only to realize she wasn’t joking. She honestly didn’t understand. Wrinkling my brow, I said, “You really don’t know?”
“Of course not.”
“Because,” I started, only to stop, feeling like an idiot. Then I just blurted it out. “Isn’t it perfectly obvious? I want things I shouldn’t from you.”
As soon as the words left my tongue, I slapped my hand over my mouth.
Christ. What the hell was this girl doing to me? Why did I just keep spilling out every fucking thought in my head to her?
What was worse; she still didn’t get it. Eyebrows furrowing, she shook her head. “What?”
“I’m starting to like you,” I explained, rolling my hand as I spoke. “Like really like you. Not just watching-movies-together like. And maybe you’re not feeling what I’m feeling here, but—”
“I am,” she quickly cut in.
I gulped. Shit.
“Okay.” I nodded, unable to hold eye contact, lest I’d do something I would regret. Like kiss her. “Well, it’s tempting fate,” I said. “Wanting anything to happen between us is wrong. Even if we never do anything more together, which we won’t, it’s enough to upset Bella if she found out. And I refuse to do anything that would even remotely upset her. So, no. There’s no future here.” I motioned a finger between us. “This—whatever it is—ends here and now.”
Eyes filling with uncertainty, she sank a step away and shook her head. “But all we did was watch a movie together,” she tried.
I slowly dropped my hand, giving her a look that disagreed.
With a quick roll of her eyes, she corrected, “Okay, two movies.”
“It’s more than that,” I said softly. “And you know it.”
Her expression drooped so quickly she looked utterly chastised. “Fine. I know. I just…” With a thick swallow, she winced. “We haven’t done anything wrong, though. It’s been extremely innocent between us.”
“And it stays that way,” I insisted. “So we stop now before something moves past innocent.”
Her shoulders slumped. Eyes turning glassy as if she might start crying any moment, she nodded and began to turn away, only to stop, pause, and swing back to me. “So if I’m never going to see you again,” she rushed the words as if she had to say them fast or she’d lose her nerve to say them at all. “Can I ask one small favor of you first, before you go?”
Eyeing her warily, I hissed out a breath because I already knew I wasn’t going to like whatever it was she asked, just as I knew I would probably grant her the wish, anyway.
“What’s that?” I said, my voice low and strained.
Eyes huge and afraid, she flicked her tongue quickly over dry lips before blurting, “Can I hug you?”
“Hug me?” Yeah, she should’ve just socked me straight in the gut. It wouldn’t have left any less of an impact on my breathing and it would’ve been a hell of a lot easier to take.
But a hug? A fucking hug?
That was almost worse than asking if we could have a quickie in the backseat of her car. Sex could be impersonal, groping hands, hungry kisses, bodies bumping. Just a basic need being satisfied.
