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She caught my eye, letting me know she wanted me to follow her and be the first in line to get my share of the food, but I hung back, and Dad ended up falling in behind her instead. A mass exodus started from the room then, as the horde shifted back toward my parents’ mammoth kitchen. I let most people shuffle past me as I waited to cut in and join them whenever the twins made their way through, and in the process, I kind of turned things into a receiving line, where I began to thank everyone for coming.
Most people wished me a happy birthday or companionable slug on the arm as they passed. I caught Lucy Olivia’s when she went by with her parents.
“Hey, congratulations, by the way,” I told her, offering a rueful smile. I hadn’t seen her since the news went out that she was pregnant.
Her return grin was a bit red-faced and embarrassed, but she murmured, “Thanks,” and gave me a hug, whispering, “Always stay sweet,” in my ear before she pulled away.
Noel’s brother, Colton, came next. I saw Reese and Mason behind him, with their kids trailing along after that. My heart rate sped up. I had no idea what I was going to say to Bella, but I had to get close to her. I had to reassure myself that our earlier phone call hadn’t freaked her out as badly as it had me.
Hell, maybe she’d already forgotten it. Maybe I was the only one worrying about nothing here.
God, I hoped so.
She looked up, our gazes collided, and I knew immediately that she was rattled as much as I was.
Fuck.
I never should’ve invited her to my parents’ house and asked her to expose us. What if she ran now because I had pushed? What if I lost her?
A wave of dizziness assailed me. I couldn’t lose her.
“So, Fox,” Colton said, slipping an arm around my shoulders and tugging me into the line with him. “I was wondering if I could get a little professional advice from you.”
I nodded, unable to deny anyone in our group help whenever they came to me. And in doing so, I lost probably the only opportunity I was going to get that evening to even talk to the woman I loved.
Glancing back, I tried to catch her eye, but she was busy talking to her mother now. I took a long drink of my beer while Colton started in on a personal issue one of his friends was having, and I gulped until my eyes watered.
It was going to be a long night.
Chapter Eleven
Bella
THREE HOURS LATER
This damn night was never going to end.
Unable to help myself, my gaze strayed across the room toward Fox.
He was absolutely miserable. Oh, he had smiled and laughed plenty throughout the night. He acted like any man of honor at their birthday celebration should, thanking everyone who gave him a gift or wished him a good year. He made a point to small-talk with everyone who paused before him. He even made his nephew’s night by pulling him onto his lap and letting Braiden blow out the candles when it was time for the cake.
But I knew this man. Between the smiles and laughs, he bit at the corner of his lip, like he always did when he was deep in thought, and he kept fiddling with his hat, which he’d snuck back on in exchange for the party cone as soon as his sister wasn’t looking. And he only did all that when he was uncomfortable in a situation.
This was my fault.
I’d been so stuck on making sure he got the proper space he needed so he wouldn’t stray, that my initial instinct had been to push him away when he’d thrown me off-balance with the announcement that he wanted less space. I just hadn’t been expecting—
I mean, I knew he’d been okay with Gracen finding out when we’d almost gotten caught at my place a month before, but learning that he actually hated keeping it a secret and honestly wanted to make us open, official, and as serious as they could get with messy strings and conditions had just…
It had knocked me on my ass.
And then I’d gone and messed up everything that had followed.
So all night long, whenever our gazes seemed to clash, there was this begging quality in his eyes. The worst part was, I wasn’t sure what he was begging for. For me to meet him somewhere quiet so we could talk? For me to stand up and announce that he and I were a thing? For me to stop stringing him along and just cut him free already? I didn’t know what he wanted. I just knew I was letting him down and not doing whatever it was he needed me to do to make things right between us again.
I felt even more horrible when he eagerly pulled the present I’d brought for him from me and Gracen out of its gift bag. Then he paused, eyeing the new hat with a dumbfounded blink, and I knew I’d fucked up majorly. His expression was so solemn and dour as he ran his thumb slowly along the bill and studied it. It was almost an exact replica of the one he wore. The only difference was that this one was new.
I could tell he’d been hoping for something more—
