AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Everything,” I cried, backing away and cupping my head, my breaths coming in tight bursts of panic. “You’re just—”
“Bells,” he murmured, lifting his hands in a calming gesture. “Breathe, baby. It’s okay.”
“No,” I cried. “It’s not. I’ve never been scared like this before. And I hate it.”
A single tear slipped down his cheek. He fisted his hand and set it against his mouth before whispering, “What am I doing wrong?”
“That’s the problem,” I ground out, waving my hand dramatically to display him to the world. “You’re doing everything right! Everything about you is so fucking right. And perfect. And amazing.”
His hands fell limply to his sides as he cocked his head in confusion. “And that’s a bad thing?”
“Yes! What I felt for Ethan is only a fraction of what I feel for you, and he nearly destroyed me. If what happened to me there happened again—with you—I wouldn’t recover. This—us—is so much more than anything I ever had with anyone. I never knowingly gave you that much power over me, but you seem to have it, anyway. And I—damn it. I’m just not ready to drop the secrecy yet, okay? I’m not—I’m not—God.”
I wiped at my face, trying to calm myself down, but all the feelings and frustrations and fears just bunched right back up inside me aga
in.
“I don’t even know how to deal with it myself yet, how to make sense of it in my head. I can’t handle outsiders—even if it’s just damn family whom I love to death—knowing and picking around, giving their opinions and viewpoints and—it’s just so big. I’m not ready yet.”
Fox was so quiet after that, I was half-convinced he was going to turn around and walk out the door, giving up on me completely because I still couldn’t give him the one thing he wanted.
But then he lifted a single finger and opened his mouth for a full second before finally saying, “So let me get this straight. You’re saying everything is actually great between us. You think I’m perfect and could probably handle me sexing you up all day, every day. But we still have to wait to tell the family until you grow enough lady balls to admit to yourself that you love me back?”
I blinked. Then sighed and rolled my eyes. “I take offense to so much of what you just said, but, yeah. Basically. All that.”
He nodded slowly. “Okay, then. Well, cool. I can deal with that.”
My nose wrinkled. Then I lifted my eyebrows when he added nothing else to his response. “Really?” I finally snapped. “That’s all you’re going to say? Because last night, you had plenty to say.”
“Yeah,” he answered slowly. “Exactly. I said all I wanted to say last night, so what else is there to say now?”
“What about how much you hated keeping secrets from the family, and lying to your brothers? I know that didn’t just go away in one night.”
“No,” he agreed, stepping toward me. “I still hate having to lie to them. And I can’t wait until I can worship you properly out in the light of day where everyone can see. But now that I’ve heard your reasons and know for sure that the secrecy is only temporary, I can handle it for a while longer. And who knows, maybe by the time I start getting impatient again, you’ll finally be ready to come out.”
I set a stern hand on my hip and cocked up an eyebrow as he took another deliberate step closer. “And if I’m not?” I countered.
He smiled one of his I-know-I’m-about-to-get-lucky smiles. “Then I guess I’ll have to drunk call you again and blow up until we have another one of these oh-so-enlightening conversations where you pretty much tell me how amazing I am.”
I sniffed and shook my head. “Don’t make me regret saying anything that even resembles that, Parker.”
“Too late now.” He grinned, reaching out to run a single finger down the side of my arm. “You said it; I’m never letting you live it down.”
“Oh Lord.” I shivered uncontrollably when his finger began to slowly trace its way back up the outside of my arm. But fuck, my elbow had never been so sensitive before. Tingling spread through my hot spots before pulsing needily. It’d been a week since he’d last been inside me, and my body decided that was far too long a wait.
But I outwardly stayed firm and sent him a stern glower. “I’m never opening my mouth again,” I told him.
He sniffed out an amused sound and shifted closer. “Remember that time I came over and you showed me the birth control packet you’d just gotten, letting me know we could stop using condoms?”
As his fingers deliberately moved over my collarbone, I released a breath and felt my breasts tighten under my shirt. “Yes,” I rasped. “I remember.”
“That was the first time I’d ever gone without,” he admitted, reaching the lowest point in the V-neck shirt I wore, right where my cleavage began. “I think I lasted about ten seconds after I got inside you that night.”
I shook my head and wrinkled my nose at him. Where in the world was he going with this?
“If you’re lucky, though,” he added, lifting his other hand so that he could grip the V-neck with both hands. “I might last twenty seconds this time.”
And he tore the shirt down the center, splitting it apart with a savage growl.
