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Before he moved away, though, he blindly nudged me with his toe before rubbing the tip of his loafers up my shin in farewell.
Then he was gone, and a second later, I heard his office door shut.
I remained hidden there a good minute after he and his sister had left, processing what had just happened.
Almost getting caught by his twin had been bad. Making out at the office probably hadn’t been any better, but a smile started to curve up my lips anyway as I lifted my fingers to my mouth. I could still feel an echo of him there, nipping at the tender corner before trailing his way down toward my throat.
He hadn’t held back on the passion, not even a little, and it hadn’t spooked me once. His hands had been all over me, my breasts, hips, and thighs. His erection had very insistently nudged the very nucleus of my pulsing pussy through a very slim strip of moist underwear, and I hadn’t even considered having a panic attack or pushing him away.
I wasn’t sure if this meant I was finally healing and getting better, or if it was just Gracen Lowe who couldn’t seem to frighten me no matter what he did. But it was good. It was very, very good news.
For the first time in nearly a year and a half, I felt like I could maybe be a normal woman and experience a healthy sex life again and live free of fear. It was such a nice emotion I couldn’t even care about anything else just yet.
For me, this was a win, and I was going to take the moment to enjoy it.
Chapter Eighteen
Bella
THAT FRIDAY
I had almost told Gracen about me and Fox the other day when I’d taken him out for lunch. It’d been on the tip of my tongue to just blurt it out there as he’d sat across the table from me and frowned down at his menu, trying to decide what to order.
But then my heart had started to thump—hard—and this swishing buzzing sound had filled my ears while my head went super light. I about drove myself into a freaking panic attack with how anxious I was over telling him the simple truth, and so…
I chickened out.
Besides, something was going on with him, and it was making him act strange. I wondered if he was upset with me because I’d refused to tell him who the Warthog was on my phone or if he had something else going on to the side that was bothering him, but he’d been so distracted throughout the entire meal that I think he only heard about twenty percent of everything I said to him.
The way he’d looked when I’d first gone into his office concerned me, though. What if he had health issues he didn’t want to tell me about because it’d freak me out? I hoped he’d confide in me if something was wrong. But just thinking about him possibly being ill made my guilt about not confessing my relationship with Fox triple.
So today, I stopped by the mall after work to do him a big favor. The family was having a big collective baby shower for all the couples who were going to have babies within the next nine months, plus Lucy Olivia. She was probably only three months along by now, but Rory was going to pop any minute, so the moms in the groups decided to celebrate all their approaching births together.
Which meant I had four baby presents to purchase in the next hour.
Since I already knew my twin would never remember to get his own gifts for them, I doubled what I’d usually pay for each little bambino so I could slap his name on the card and just have him pay me back. After texting him what I was doing, I grinned at the grateful, you’re-the-best-sister-ever message he sent back. And wheeling my heaping cart full of infant paraphernalia toward the nearest checkout station in the store, I paused when I passed the ladies’ lingerie department.
The way Fox always—and I mean, always—appreciated it whenever I wore something new to bed, yet he never made requests or demands for anything specific, made me want to get something new for him. Just because.
So I checked the time, realized I still had a couple of minutes to spare before I had to start toward the baby shower, and I steered my load in between a rack of dominatrix nighties and sheer lacy white nightgowns to have a little look-see.
Fox seemed to equally appreciate everything I wore for him, so it honestly didn’t matter what I chose; he’d probably love it. I swept my gaze over the entire section, looking for something to catch my own eye, when I saw her.
I blinked, stunned immobile as I took in the perky blond ponytail she wore with the smart business pantsuit.
Yellow looked perfect. As usual.
Bitter loathing mixed with aching regret instantly boiled in my stomach, making it churn painfully. I couldn’t get the memory of finding her in my ex-fiancé’s bed out of my head any more than I could clear away all the good times we’d had together. She’d been my favorite female in that group of people. Ethan’s friends and their wives and significant others had always been just a tad bit too entitled and stuck on themselves for my taste. But Yellow had this sweet, innocent, quirky fun side about her, and she’d made nights out with that crew bearable. I never would’ve guessed she’d be the worst, most deceitful betrayer of the lot.
My chin trembled as I stared at her, watching her from the back as she chewed on her thumbnail as if nervous and reached out hesitantly to touch a silky, short, dark blue nightgown. She looked so much like the Yellow from before. The one who’d been nice and friendly. It freaking hurt to even look at her.
Which pissed me off.
“Ethan likes the scarlet red nighties best, in case you were wondering,” I sneered, unable to help myself as the anger and pain mounted inside me.
Yellow whirled around, brown eyes wide with surprise, as she pressed her hand to her chest.
“Isabella,” she rasped.
