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As Lucy disappeared down the hall to take her nap, I glanced toward her parents who were both turning to look back at me.
It was awkward as hell, so I gulped and pushed my way to my feet. “Well, I should probably be—”
“Hold up,” Lucy’s dad interrupted. “You haven’t gotten to hold Ava nearly as long as you wanted to yet, have you?”
Honestly, after watching the way he’d refused to let Lucy hold her own child, I had assumed he wouldn’t be willing to let me hold the baby, either. But he eased up from the couch before I could even answer him, and he held the swaddled bundle out to me.
“I…” It only took one glance at the infant’s napping face, and my heart stuttered hard in my chest.
But, dammit, every time I looked at her, I saw a new piece of Duke. I swear they had the same pattern of wrinkles on their foreheads when they frowned.
Not a fan of being moved and shifted, Ava’s wrinkles deepened, and I utterly melted. I wanted to pull her close, nuzzling and kissing her until I coaxed a peaceful expression back into her features. The ache filled me until I was reaching for her and mumbling a reluctant, “Okay.”
It still amazed me how light she was in my arms, how something so tiny could consume so much space in my emotions, and how much I already loved her.
My thumb swept over her precious forehead wrinkles, and instead of smoothing out, they deepened. Delighted by getting any reaction from her at all, I chuckled and leaned down to kiss her brow. Her powdery, sweet scent filled my nostrils, and I found myself closing my eyes, then inhaling deeper before I remembered I had an audience.
Shit. I flushed hard and straightened, casting Lucy’s parents an apologetic cringe.
Aspen sent me a warm approving smile and leaned in to squeeze my arm. “If you’re good here with her, we need to be going.”
My eyes widened. “Wait. What? But… Should I be alone with her?”
“You’re not alone,” Noel said, slapping my back. “Lucy’s just down the hall, if you need anything.”
I blinked because I’d actually been referring to Lucy when I’d asked that. But thinking back, yeah, that had been a very awkward thing to blurt out, and I was eternally grateful they’d misunderstood me.
“Just sit, relax, and everything will be fine,” I was assured as the Gambles urged me slowly in reverse until the backs of my legs bumped into the rocking chair. I sank down obediently and looked up at them, seeking more assistance, but they only nodded as if I was perfectly fine there like that.
“Look at that precious little face,” Aspen cooed, her gaze straying to Ava.
I glanced down and felt the punch of adoration all over again. God, but she was perfect.
My thumb swished over her brow that had smoothed out since she’d gotten settled in my arms, and I released a breath, glad she was happy and healthy.
The opening of the front door had me lifting my head and blinking as Aspen and Noel departed. Lucy’s mom smiled and waved a silent goodbye, and then I was left alone with Ava Grace.
“Uh…”
Alright, then.
Wow. This felt...odd. And I started to panic. But what if something went wrong? I might’ve done months and months of research, but this was still practically the first time I’d been around a baby. I had no idea what to—
Gulping, I glanced down to look at Ava’s face. She was still sleeping and looked so angelic and at peace that I exhaled and felt myself start to calm as well.
“I guess it’s just you and me now, kiddo,” I murmured, thinking I could do this.
She’d somehow wiggled one of her arms free of her swaddling and a miniature fist was stiffly lifted into the air as if encouraging me on. I caught it to tuck it back into her blanket, but first, I had to pause and touch each tiny finger.
They were just so incredibly small.
Once I finally had her bundled snug and secure, I lifted her to my shoulder, so she could rest on my chest. Then I slid deeper into the chair and closed my eyes, enjoying the moment.
Honestly, I didn’t know what could beat having a newborn sleep on you.
Resting my hand on her back, I felt each breath she made, marveling over every unique inhale like the miracle it was. It was a damn shame Duke couldn’t be here to see what a wonder he’d left behind.
Then again, if my brother were still alive, I had a feeling he wouldn’t pay this kind of attention to his daughter or care how amazing it was just to hold her and experience her breathing on top of him.
