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Lips parting and obviously not a fan of being caught talking to the infant, he rushed out a winded, “Hey. I didn’t realize you were there.”
“I figured as much,” I said, dropping my hand and entering the nursery to head toward the daybed I had pushed against the wall on the opposite side of the room as Ava’s crib. Dropping onto the mattress and immediately grabbing a pillow to pull to my chest, I bent my knees up and got comfortable before focusing on the man in the rocking chair. “Sorry about, you know…” I rolled my eyes. “Trick. I had no idea he was going to do that.”
Vaughn’s lips quirked into a half-smile. “Yeah, I could tell it caught you off guard.”
“Crazy man,” I muttered, shaking my head. “He’s insane. But thanks for watching Ava anyway while I handled him.”
If handling him was even what I could call whatever had just happened. Felt more like he’d handled me, rattling me to the core with his ridiculous observations.
“It’s fine,” I was assured. “I came to see Ava Grace, and that’s exactly what I got to do.”
Right. I nodded. Of course. He was here for Ava. Ava. I shouldn’t have to remind myself of that.
None of this was because of me, and I needed to get my body on board with reality.
Stupid, crazy hormones. I was supposed to be recovering from childbirth here, not imagining dirty, depraved things with the one man I should never have such thoughts about.
Gah.
I was so messed up.
“He only felt obligated to ask because we’re family,” I tossed out the explanation, hoping to move past the mortifying thoughts still rambling around in my brain.
Except Vaughn paused in rocking Ava Grace to squint in confusion as he slowly repeated, “Family?”
“I mean...” I waved my hands and blushed hard, realizing how bad that sounded. “Not blood-related family,” I assured. Dear Lord, no wonder why he was giving me such a funny look. “I didn’t just get proposed to by a cousin or anything like that. There’s just this whole group of us who act like a big family, so that’s what we call ourselves since some of us are related. We’re all pretty close, you know, and when one of us faces any kind of challenge, everyone else bands together and goes a little overboard with trying to help out. And I’m guessing I’m the big charity case at the moment, so…” I shrugged helplessly. “Trick just thought he was doing his duty to ask.”
Vaughn nodded thoughtfully as he watched me explain my family.
An aching sadness entered his eyes as this wistfully far-away expression took over his features before he murmured, “Sounds nice.”
I swallowed thickly, trying not to cry.
He looked down at Ava with a hope and yearning that made me squeeze my pillow extra hard. Then, he barely touched her cheek with the tips of his fingers and smiled softly.
When he looked up, I noticed this moist, red ring around his eyes. It was almost always there, I realized. He looked like he had either just finished crying or like he was going to start any second.
I had never known that kind of grief, and it made me feel suddenly naive and small.
“You’re lucky,” he said from a rasping voice.
I nodded, positive I’d never truly appreciated just how lucky I was until that moment.
I had people I knew I could always rely on. Stupid crazy people like Trick and Beau, and wonderful, amazing people like my parents. And just… all of them.
I had people.
Vaughn did not.
It made me want to share all of my people with him so he could experience the same peace of mind and foundation and steady source of love that I had.
But that wasn’t something you could just go around offering like a free T-shirt at a game.
So I cleared my throat and picked at a string hanging off the case of the pillow I was strangling. “You were really good with Beau earlier, you know.”
“Hmm?” He furrowed his brow in confusion and started rocking the chair again when Ava made a sound.
“I just… When I got home from my errand, I overheard most of the conversation you two had, and… I don’t know. I just feel crappy.” Wiping at my eyes, I sighed before explaining, “I could tell something was going on with him when I asked him to stay with Ava for a few minutes, but he was being such an ass that I just got mad at him instead of stopping and trying to figure out the reasoning behind his behavior. But you...” Shaking my head, I looked over at him in amazement. “You took the time to ask him one single question, and he ended up spilling everything to you.”
