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His eyes close, and his mouth opens. I pull my hand back, not sure if I’m making him feel better or worse, but when he stands, he looks at me. “Please don’t stop.”
Now my breath is taken, but I nod my head and reach behind him to rub his shoulder blades and higher. Cooper’s hand covers mine, and he says, “Reed’s amazing.”
I smile, filled with pride, my eyes meeting Cooper’s, and say, “He is, like his parents.”
And then the sound of my son’s scream pulls me away just before he hits the ground.
38
Story
“You’re a doctor?”
“Yes,” Cooper replies, then adds,“in residency,” as if that changes the fact that Cooper Haywood is a doctor. Not an attorney like his father.
That probably shouldn’t make me as happy as it does, but I’m only human, and I love that he broke the mold to follow his own goals. No parent would ever be disappointed with their kid becoming a doctor, yet knowing the Haywoods, they probably were.
Since my butt is going numb from these uncomfortable chairs, I tuck my leg under me, which has me angling more his way. “Nothing against lawyers, but I’m glad you’re a doctor. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“It didn’t come up.” He glances toward me out of the corner of his eyes. The hospital waiting room is sterile and the ugliest shade of green, the opposite of Cooper’s eyes.
Swerving his hand in front of him, he says, “We always take the scenic route in a conversation. Figured we’d get there eventually.”
“That’s a valid point, but now you’re the father of my child, so I should probably know these things.” I smile at him and raise an eyebrow playfully. “Don’t you think?”
“I do think, Story.” I receive his full attention, but I don’t get a smile in return. “But I’ve always been the father of your child. Not only now, like I’m stepping in when it’s convenient for me. I would have been there all along if I’d had the choice.”
Taken aback by how upset he is, I realize I didn’t even catch that I had said the word now. “I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said that other than you’re here right now, literally right here, and you weren’t before.”
I keep checking for any sign of the doctor or a nurse who can tell us how it’s going. Worrying about my baby breaking his arm has me on edge, but now I have Cooper to worry about. It’s a lot to manage when I’m only used to the two of us.
“I get it, but it was sort of a twist-of-the-knife comment since I had no choice.”
I stare at him, trying to understand where the pain’s coming from—my comment or something deeper. I can’t control what’s happening with Reed, so I try to alleviate the other pain. “It was a slip of the tongue, but I see how that could be hurtful. Again, I’m sorry.” Uncomfortable in the conversation, I put my feet back on the ground, sit forward, and rub my temples. “The last thing I want to do is add stress to this already stressful situation.” I glance at him again. “And I don’t want to hurt you because there’s a bigger picture that we’re in the middle of as well. It’s a lot.”
Too antsy to stay seated, I stand to pace the waiting room of the ER.
“It is a lot. And I appreciate the apology, but you don’t owe it to me. I know you didn’t mean anything by it.” He’s so patient, so understanding. I don’t get it. Not that he wasn’t with me, but he used to be filled with an angst simmering just under the surface. But maybe having his parents out of his life has given him the peace he always desired.
“Cooper, we should talk about this and what it means.”
“I agree.” It seems the day’s wearing on him as it is me. His lids hang a little lower, and his hair is over his forehead. He’s rolled up the sleeves on his forearms and kicked his long legs out in front of him.
I keep pacing, my mind bouncing between the surgery to reset Reed’s arm and the man who’s showing up to be a part of Reed’s life. I stop in front of him, and say, “I don’t regret telling you about him, but there’s going to be a learning curve where we figure out how to maneuver in this new relationship.”
“I want to be a part of his life.”
And there it is. It was never about seeing or meeting Reed. It was about building a father-son connection, a relationship between just the two of them. “I’m not naïve to believe it was ever intended to be less, but this is happening very fast, Cooper.” I sit back in the chair I’d abandoned and lean on the arm. “I’ve been a single mom since before he was born. Every doctor’s appointment, taking care of myself when some days were damn hard, eating healthy for him while also looking for a job after graduation. Other than Lila and Jake, and they’ve been a godsend, I was alone.”
