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“Bitch,” she muttered under her breath while she rooted around in her purse. Pulling out her sunglasses, she put them on and then sighed with relief.
“Your sister’s door is killing my brain. Why’s it so bright?” I mumbled as we walked up the path to it. “God, it’s even worse up close.” It was like the yellow paint was glowing in the sunlight.
Before she could answer, Heidi opened the door with a smile. “Here they are, the two lushes.” Then, looking up and down her sister, she frowned. “What the hell is up with that top? I thought I threw it away last summer.”
“It’s comfortable,” Sayla sniffed, pulling on the hem of it like that would make it better.
“It’s ugly,” me and Heidi said at the same time.
“Aunt Sayla!” Nemi squealed as she ran up and tackled her aunt’s legs. “So good to see you.” Then, seeing me standing there, she did the same thing as she screamed, “Aunt Jacie!”
I loved this little girl. She was one of the sweetest souls I’d ever met, and her personality never failed to amuse me. Nemi and the other kids were the only ones I could stomach hearing call me Jacie now, and I’d actually fallen in love with hearing it from them.
Giving her head a hug, seeing as how it was pretty much all I could get my arms around without moving in a way that’d press my crotch in the poor baby’s face, I said honestly, “The highlight of every day is seeing you, Miss Nemi. You make every day the best day for me.”
Tipping her head back, she smiled widely at me. “You, too. Hey, I like your leggings.” Turning back to her aunt, she frowned. “I don’t like your top.”
Sayla tipped her head back and glared at the sky. “Why are you all harassing me?”
“Let’s go through to the backyard. Y’all are some of the last to arrive,” Heidi suggested, waving us in.
Nemi grabbed her aunt’s hand and tugged her through the house to the back door, where I could see everyone milling around.
It was just as I passed the kitchen that it happened. Heidi had wooden flooring everywhere, except for the stairs, and someone must have spilled something because, as I stood down, one leg went forward while the other one shot backward.
For the first time in my life, I’d done the splits. At school, I’d been great when we’d done gymnastics in PE, but for the life of me, I’d never mastered how to do this. If I’d known all I needed was a wet floor to do it, I’d have been a pro. Hell, I could even have been an Olympian gymnast.
“I didn’t even know my legs could spread this wide apart,” I snickered. “I think my vagina’s kissing your floor, Heidi.”
If the loud, deep groan I heard came from her, I’d be impressed. Sadly, the shoes that appeared beside me definitely weren’t hers. Following the legs up, I stopped briefly on the penis package that was only about a foot away from my head, then I continued up until I saw Canon Klein looking down at me, his eyes half-mast.
Maybe it wasn’t him? Perhaps it was Bond, and he was worried I’d hurt myself? They all looked alike, and this was his house, so maybe I’d gotten it wrong with my wine goggles?
Squinting through one eye, I sighed loudly when the confirmation that it was Canon hit me.
Fucking awesome!
“Sorry,” he rasped, holding out a fistful of paper towels. “I opened a bottle of water, and it was one of those over-full ones, so it spilled on the floor. I was just getting something to dry it with so no one… uh….” He swallowed loudly.
“So no one slipped and kissed the floor with their vagina?” Heidi asked, not bothering to hide her laughter.
Through all of this, I didn’t move. Nope, I wasn’t only just an Olympian worthy splits gymnast, I was also going for the world record in staying in the position. Well, until I noticed the crotch of my leggings was now wet from the water. I swear, it was the spilled water soaking them, not me. If the splits prompted you to pee your panties, the gymnastics part of the Olympics would be considered a water sport, right?
“Yeah, that,” Canon nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. “Do you need a hand up?”
I could have gone with my pride and said no and tried to get up myself, but common sense dictated I accept his help. I also didn’t want to make an even bigger booby of myself in front of him.
Accepting the hand he held out, and ignoring the pleasure on his face as I did it, I carefully got up, only slipping a couple of times in the process.
Once I was up, I shook his hand and patted him on the shoulder. “Remarkable strength, man. Glad to have your assistance.”
